Going to be hottest we've had, in the next couple days....
.
Someone is going to be in a heap of trouble......... WOW! Daddy.......
Oh...Oh he said he's gonna hide.........
"Katie"....shes 17 years old.....still going strong.......
"Katie"....shes 17 years old.....still going strong........
I don't know about him....think he could be mean??
I don't know about him....think he could be mean??.
I think he really wants whats in there really bad........
I think he really wants whats in there really bad.........
Pencil neck.............................
Pencil neck..............................
Thats what I think too.........................
Thats what I think too..........................
Break time?....all ready.........
Break time?....all ready..........
This one just got back from "Dumpster diving"..... got some good eating.......
This one just got back from "Dumpster diving"..... got some good eating........
♥♥♥
~~~ A terrible thing happened to me last week.
I tried to live within my means and was picked up for vagrancy.
.
~~~ Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement."
I did as instructed, and the system said.
Please enter your postal code.
"After I put that in...... I got a third message, If you would like your information in English, press one."
.
~~~ September is the month when millions of bright, shining, happy faces look forward to the start of school, and they all belong to mothers!
.
~~~ Professor Richard Wiseman and the British Association for the Advancement of Science (University of Hertfordshire) set out to find the funniest jokes from around the world.
Three year study concluded...jokes are funniest at 6.03 in the evening, and least funny at 1.30 in the morning.
Professor Wiseman recorded the date that each person visited 'LaughLab'.
There were huge differences in how funny people found jokes at different times during the month.
People found them funniest on the 15th of the month, and less funny towards the end or start of the month.
So, if you want to make people laugh, tell them jokes on the 15th of the month, at 6.03 in the evening.
.
~~~ Phil: “Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum.”
Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."
.
~~~ My daughter was out in the kitchen with my two grandsons after just finishing lunch and the salt and pepper shakers were still on the table.
The five-year-old got the Play-Doh out and he and his three-year- old brother were making things with it.
The five-year-old decided he would make a dog out of the Play- Doh.
His mother said that would be nice and told him to do the best he could.
A short time later she heard him proudly proclaiming.....
"Great! I can even use pepper for the fleas!"
.
~~~ Martin was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten.
His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning.
It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.
His grandmother remarked, "doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery?
Did you know God painted this just for you?"
Martin said, "Yes, God did it and He did it left handed."
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him,"What makes you say God did this with his left hand?"
"Well," said Martin, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!"
.
~~~ The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.
Everybody...... but one girl laughed uproariously.
"What's the matter?" grumbled the boss.
"Haven't you got a sense of humour?"
"I don't have to laugh," she replied....... "I'm leaving Friday."
.
~~~ We were bounding along, said a recent traveler on a local South African single-line railway, at the rate of about seven miles an hour, and the whole train was shaking terribly.
I expected every moment to see my bones protruding through my skin.
Passengers were rolling from one end of the car to the other.
I held on firmly to the arms of the seat.
Presently we settled down a bit quieter; at least.
I could keep my hat on, and my teeth didn't chatter.
There was a quiet looking man opposite me.
I looked up with a ghastly smile, wishing to appear cheerful, and said:"We are going a bit smoother, I see."
"Yes," he said, "we're off the track now."
.
~~~ Whenever I see a man with a beard, a mustache, and glasses, I think, there's a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him.
.
~~~ 80 year old man - O.K.Doc... Give me the bad news first....
Doc.- "You have emphysema, and will die a miserable death"
80 yr- After that there's good news???
Doc. Yea, you have alzheimer's, so you won't remember....
.
~~~ A seminar on Time Travel................. will be held two weeks ago.
.
.
Todays Thought: Although at the moment they may be the same in their lack of a real answer, the man who replies, "I'll find out," is much more valuable to his employer, his neighbor, and himself than the man who replies, "I don't know."
I tried to live within my means and was picked up for vagrancy.
.
~~~ Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement."
I did as instructed, and the system said.
Please enter your postal code.
"After I put that in...... I got a third message, If you would like your information in English, press one."
.
~~~ September is the month when millions of bright, shining, happy faces look forward to the start of school, and they all belong to mothers!
.
~~~ Professor Richard Wiseman and the British Association for the Advancement of Science (University of Hertfordshire) set out to find the funniest jokes from around the world.
Three year study concluded...jokes are funniest at 6.03 in the evening, and least funny at 1.30 in the morning.
Professor Wiseman recorded the date that each person visited 'LaughLab'.
There were huge differences in how funny people found jokes at different times during the month.
People found them funniest on the 15th of the month, and less funny towards the end or start of the month.
So, if you want to make people laugh, tell them jokes on the 15th of the month, at 6.03 in the evening.
.
~~~ Phil: “Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum.”
Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."
.
~~~ My daughter was out in the kitchen with my two grandsons after just finishing lunch and the salt and pepper shakers were still on the table.
The five-year-old got the Play-Doh out and he and his three-year- old brother were making things with it.
The five-year-old decided he would make a dog out of the Play- Doh.
His mother said that would be nice and told him to do the best he could.
A short time later she heard him proudly proclaiming.....
"Great! I can even use pepper for the fleas!"
.
~~~ Martin was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten.
His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning.
It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.
His grandmother remarked, "doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery?
Did you know God painted this just for you?"
Martin said, "Yes, God did it and He did it left handed."
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him,"What makes you say God did this with his left hand?"
"Well," said Martin, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!"
.
~~~ The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.
Everybody...... but one girl laughed uproariously.
"What's the matter?" grumbled the boss.
"Haven't you got a sense of humour?"
"I don't have to laugh," she replied....... "I'm leaving Friday."
.
~~~ We were bounding along, said a recent traveler on a local South African single-line railway, at the rate of about seven miles an hour, and the whole train was shaking terribly.
I expected every moment to see my bones protruding through my skin.
Passengers were rolling from one end of the car to the other.
I held on firmly to the arms of the seat.
Presently we settled down a bit quieter; at least.
I could keep my hat on, and my teeth didn't chatter.
There was a quiet looking man opposite me.
I looked up with a ghastly smile, wishing to appear cheerful, and said:"We are going a bit smoother, I see."
"Yes," he said, "we're off the track now."
.
~~~ Whenever I see a man with a beard, a mustache, and glasses, I think, there's a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him.
.
~~~ 80 year old man - O.K.Doc... Give me the bad news first....
Doc.- "You have emphysema, and will die a miserable death"
80 yr- After that there's good news???
Doc. Yea, you have alzheimer's, so you won't remember....
.
~~~ A seminar on Time Travel................. will be held two weeks ago.
.
.
Todays Thought: Although at the moment they may be the same in their lack of a real answer, the man who replies, "I'll find out," is much more valuable to his employer, his neighbor, and himself than the man who replies, "I don't know."
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