Good Morning, Friends.....Glad we made it over the weekend....
Seems everthing went downhill for me over the weekend.........
I hope yours was better....Any way a new day's dawning..........
.

Nothing worst, then running out of T-paper........
.

They call it a Mountain bike.....not a Mud bike...

But we got paper to clean you up....ha-ha.....

.

Damn...it looked like it would fit in the store.........

.

Now thats a heck of a stroller......That's a no-no...

.

I use this key when I get a virus.....It seems to get lots of use......

.

I use T - Mobile, What about you?.....

.

Now...he's a happy drunk.........

.

That's a large lighting strike... But it makes for a pretty picture..

.

Poor Eno........

.

♥♥♥

~~~ There is a rumor President Obama will have dinner on Martha’s
Vineyard with Oprah Winfrey.
That’s right, the most powerful person in the free world is going to have
dinner with President Obama.
.
~~~ A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.
"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," the caller said."
Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.
"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."

.
~~~ A rabbit and a duck went out to dinner.
Who paid? The duck - because he had the bill.

.
~~~ Disc jockey Alfonse Alfonso was riding the bus to work and his chest
swelled when he heard a mother say to her young son, "Teddy, do you want
to listen to the Alfonse Alfonso Show when we get home?"
"No!" snapped the child.
Then behave yourself."

.
~~~ The boy's impatient math teacher snarled, "And just how far are you
from the correct answer?"
To which the boy replied, "Three seats, sir."

.
~~~ Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer said
to his caddy, "Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me."
The caddy argued with him a bit and suggested that he instead play it safe
and hit a four-iron then a wedge.
The golfer was insulted and proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy on
the tee telling him that he was a better golfer than that and how dare the
caddy under estimate his game.
So, giving in, the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for.
He proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled about fifteen yards
off the front of the tee.Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said,
"And now for one long putt..."

.
~~~ It's thunderstorm season and when the power goes out at one branch
office, the uninterruptible power supplies kick in, everything gracefully
shuts down, and the technician waits for power to return.
And waits. And waits."
Late evening sees the power restored, and we go about bringing the network
back to life," says the tech.
Next morning, the phone rings.
It's a very irate corporate administrator wanting to know why we had an
unscheduled outage the day before.
The tech calmly explain about the storm, which he had no control over.
The Administrator's response?
"Next time, put it on the schedule before you have an unexpected outage!"

.
~~~ Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed
him money and a two-dollar coupon.
Later he came home with the pizza, and the coupon.
When asked to explain, he replied, "Mom, I had enough money.
I didn't need the coupon."

.
~~~ Once upon a time there was an archery contest.
The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position...
He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams:
I AM......ROBIN HOOD!!!
The crowd cheers!
The second archer with a cape lines up in position.
He fires his arrow which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood's arrow
into two!!!
He takes off his cape and screams:
I AM......WILLIAM TELL!!!!!!
The crowd cheers!!
Finally, a third man in cape lines up in position.
He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!!!
It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!!
Then the man takes off his cape and screams:
I AM......SORRY!!!

.
~~~ When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time
grasping the concept of marriage.
So, I got out our wedding album, thinking visual images would help, and
explained the entire service to her.
Once finished, I asked if she had any questions, and she replied, "Oh. I see.
Is that when Mommy came to work for us, Daddy?"

.

~~~ INDICATORS THAT YOU HAVE TOO MUCH ZUCCHINI:
Your neighbor finds them every morning in his mailbox.
You are eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, snacks too.
You have a flute made out of a zucchini.
The stores pay you to take some off their shelves.
Even the field mice stop eating it.
You till under the zucchini plants, but still have more today than you
had yesterday.
Nightmares about a giant zucchini wakes you in the night.
Your kids are using it for building blocks.
You spray your zucchini plants with sugar water to attract insects.
But, they won't bite.

.
~~~ Doctor to Taz: "You look terribly weak and exhausted!
Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?"
Taz replied: "Doctor, I thought you said three males a day." .
.

Todays Thought: Even at a Mensa convention someone is the dumbest
person in the room.

Good Morning.....Phoneline still messed up, so I'm early...
Hope youall are having a great weekend........
I gotta say; Hi to "Witchy"........
.

Yep! know the feeling well!.............................
.

Now they look calm and cool...............

.

But!.....I don't know about this guy, or what ever it is...

.

Oh,...That would make me mad...........

.

Elvis and M.J. found??..........Now that's bad......

.

Is this Bad?? Trolls having a Barbie-Q.........Yep it's bad.....

.

Bread mobile......What if he get hungry durning a race?

.

Awww, this little guy wants to get outside and play........

.

I don't think he looks cool...... Not my thing......

.

♥♥♥

~~~ Gus; "Someone once told me always to be myself."
Rae; "Well, you couldn't have gotten worse advice."

.
~~~ Gus, was attempting to build a patio for the first time.
He bought 100 cement blocks.
Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.
He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more space.
The next day Gus put the cement blocks back down, only to find that the
ground was too hard to keep the patio level.
He ordered a truckload of sand to be delivered the following morning.
Again he stacked the 100 blocks against the house.
Observing all this, his next-door neighbor asked.........
"Gus, are you going to put your patio away every night?"

.
~~~ Freedom of speech is wonderful ...........
right up there with the freedom not to listen.

.
~~~ The junior officers challenged the senior officers at an Marine Base to
see who would donate the most blood.
After trying several times to locate a vein in the left arm of a young first
lieutenant, the medical technician applied a Band- Aid, and then inserted
a needle into the right arm, drawing blood this time, and then put a
Band-Aid on that arm as well.
As he left the collection facility, the lieutenant passed a colonel.
Noting the two bandages, he looked at the first lieutenant and shook his
head, saying, "I knew you young guys would find some way to cheat."

.
~~~ Driving through Oklahoma, We went out of our way to stop at what
was billed as the largest McDonald's in the world.
However, we were less than thrilled when an employee addressed everyone
over the intercom: "Attention, world's largest McDonald's customers."

.
~~~ Q: What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
A: Drop it a line.

.
~~~ An Englishman was flying to Australia when the stewardess tonged
him two hot towels, which proved upon application to be cold.
So he told her...not in complaint, but simply because he thought she might
want to warm them up some more.
The stewardess turned to him and, smiling sweetly, with only the tiniest
trace of sarcasm, said, "Well, why don't you sit on them a bit?
That should warm them up."

.
~~~ Said a chiropractor to his patient, "It's going to rain. I can feel it in
your bones."

.
~~~ Last October my wife bought a magnolia tree from the local nursery,
but after only a few weeks the leaves shriveled.
It appeared to be on its last legs.
My wife took some leaf samples and marched into the nursery to demand
an explanation.
"I know exactly what's wrong with your magnolia," said the manager."
Good," said my wife....... "What's it suffering from?"
"Autumn," he replied.

.
~~~ In an out-of-the-way small Spanish town, my wife and I stopped for lunch.
We discovered that none of the waiters spoke English. Undaunted, we used
our rudimentary Spanish to find the fish section on the menu, but we had
no way to distinguish one from the other.
Suddenly one of the waiters struck a dramatic Zorro pose and moved his arms
in great slashes.
"Si!" I exclaimed, and we sat back anticipating our swordfish.

.
~~~ Dr. Hey: Ulcers are caused not so much by what we eat as what's
eating us.

.
~~~ A woman traveling with her two-year-old son met a man who had
eight children.
She told him that she loved her son so much that she could not imagine
dividing that love by eight.
"Madam," the man gently replied, "you do not have to divide your love....
You multiply it."

.
~~~ QUESTION: What do two oceans do when they meet?
ANSWER: Nothing. Just wave!

.
~~~ Two men met at a party.
One offers the other a cigarette.
“No thanks..... I tired it once, didn’t like it.”
“Beer?”
“ No thanks..... Tried it once, didn’t like it.”
“Caviar?”
“No thanks...... Tried it once, didn’t like it.”
At that time his son came and whispered something into his ear.
“Your only child, I presume?”

.
.
Todays Thoughts; "Those who love deeply never grow old."

Good Morning....Friends....Early post this morning....
The phone lines are messing up... Dial-up sucks....
.

The little girl, two, met one-year-old orangutan Rishi at an animal centre while
visiting with her father.
They took to each other straight away and spent hours tumbling about and
having a tea party.
.

I guess this little feller can hear very good.......

.

Chuck is bad to the bone.............................

.

Playing with his Teddybear......He's saying "Mama what is this??

.

Running for his life: The gamekeeper flees as the hungry hippo charges at him.

Hippos are some of the most aggressive creatures on Earth ..........

.

Kitten has a good ride..........

.

"Benz fully built in white gold. Price tag: $50 Mil."...

.

My Buddy "Eno................................

.

♥♥♥

~~~ My mother-in-law grows a great patch of potatoes.
In fact, to get them off to a good start, she plants each seed potato in a small
paper bag...... It keeps the dirt out of their eyes.

.
~~~ Upon boarding a recent flight from Newark to Atlanta and animated
flight attendant began to the preparatory speech and safety instruction to
the packed flight.
Over the intercom he announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the main cabin
door has been closed in preparation for departure.
The captain now asks that all electronic devices including: pagers, cell phones,
I-phones, I-pods, blackberry’s, blueberries, strawberries and anything
with an on/off switch, including but not limited to Atari game systems and
Easy-Bake Ovens, be turned off at this time.
Please enjoy your flight and Thank You for choosing us for all your land travel
--err--I mean AIR TRAVEL needs!"

.
~~~ A town on the edge of the Mojave Desert boasts four gas stations.
Three of them plan to sue the owner of the first station on the line.
He's put up a big sign proclaiming.........
"This is your last chance to fill up before you hit the desert......
The three others you think you see are mirages!"

.
~~~ "Hey John, you got yourself new pants and a shirt."
"My wife got them for me."
"Must have been a surprise."
"Sure was. I come home and there they were on a chair in the bedroom!"

.
~~~ Children's Books That Didn't Make the Cut..............
*You Are Different and That's Bad...
*Dad's New Wife Robert...
*Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share...
*Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book...
*The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking...
*Some Kittens Can Fly...
*The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator...
*The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy...
*Strangers Have the Best Candy ...

.
~~~ Gail, a neighbor, wanted to buy her workaholic boss a special gift.
Knowing that I create handcrafted items as a hobby, she came to me.
I made a few suggestions, all of which she said weren't quite right.
Frustrated, Gail asked, "What do I get for a person who has no life?"
"How about a nice urn?" I replied.

.
~~~ "In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis
situations: fight or flee.
In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee...or laugh."

.
~~~ A man walks into a flower shop.
"I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs, "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help.......... What exactly have you done?"

.
~~~ Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks.
At a party, an old friend exclaimed, "Edith, you haven't changed in 20 years."
"Oh," said Mom, horrified..... "I hope I didn't look like this 20 years ago."

.
~~~ One Sunday afternoon, I took my two boys, ages eleven and thirteen,
fishing.
After an hour, my oldest son was the only one to catch any fish.
As he reeled in his second bass, he proudly announced..................
"The first one was a large mouth, and this is a small mouth."
My youngest turned to me and muttered, "And there's a big mouth!"

.
~~~ This bloke is sitting at home one night when there’s a loud knock on the door.
The man answers the door and is surprised to find that there’s a six foot tall
beetle standing on his doorstep.
Before the bloke has time to speak the beetle launches a frenzied attack on
him and after a flurry of blows it leaves.
The bloke is covered in cuts and bruises and immediately goes to see his doctor.
On seeing him, the doctor asks, “What happened?”
The man replies, “You won’t believe me.....
I was beaten up by a massive beetle.”
On seeing that his doctor is nonplussed by this the man asks, “Well, aren’t you
surprised?”
The doctor replies, “Not really..... There’s a nasty bug going around.”

.
~~~ A man of eighty-one yells with joy as the nurse comes in and tells him
that his twenty-year-old bride just gave birth to a baby.
The man muses, "I wonder if I could do it again."Another expectant father
answers, "What makes you think you did it the first time?"
.
.
Todays Thought: If only the good die young then what does that say about
senior citizens?

Well Now.....Good TGIF Morning...Friends............
Ready for a rainy weekend ?
.

Sunshine isn't ready............
.

What's with the little yappy dog..........

.

Now....this is a chubby baby................................

.

Gotta watch out for them VW Spiders......... they eats bugs..

.

Walking on water??

.

Looking for breakfast....................................

.

Waiting for Breakfast..........

.

Breakfast !!...........................................

.

Me.....Posting the blog........ Bad to the Bone........

.

♥♥♥

~~~ Okay....Pete, here it is:
The woman applying for a job in a Florida Lemon Grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
The foreman frowned & said, "I have to ask you this; "have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied.
"I've been divorced 3 times & I voted for Obama!"

.
~~~ Okay, Pete...Are you sure you understand what I thought I said!

.
~~~ Gus's words of wisdom....Learn from the mistakes of others.
Trust me ... you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
I've tried!!

.
~~~ 2009 DARWIN AWARD...When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire
at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California.Would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked...........

.
~~~ Note! You’re driving a car.
It isn’t a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant.

.
~~~ Think about this..... "I've seen more interesting faces on clocks."
"Whatever is eating you must be suffering from indigestion."
"The last time I saw a mouth like yours, it had a fishhook in it."
"I heard about your wit."..... "Oh, it's nothing." "Yes, that's what I heard."
"You have a very striking face........ It should be struck more often."

.
~~~ A browbeating lawyer was demanding that a witness answer a certain
question either in the negative or affirmative.
"I cannot do it," said the witness.
"There are some questions that cannot be answered by a 'yes' or a 'no,'
as any one knows."
"I defy you to give an example to the court," thundered the lawyer.
The retort came like a flash: "Are you still beating your wife?"

.
~~~ I was taking a nursing history on a new elderly male patient.
When I got to the lungs/breathing section, I asked, "Do you ever get short
of breath?"
With a devilish twinkle in his eye he replied, "Only during sex."
With a straight face, I looked at him and replied, "So that's a no'?'"
"Touché" he responded.

.
~~~ A truck driver was going south on I-75, when he came upon a
weight station.
When he pulled in and got on the scales to be weighed, the scale master told
the driver that he was 900lbs. over weight.
The truck driver replied, I can take care or that.
The scale master asked he how could he fix the problem?
The driver said, let me go around back, and I'll fix the overweight problem.
The scale master agreed to let him fix his problem.
About half an hour later the truck driver got back on the scales, and the
scale master said, driver, you are still 900lbs., over weight.
The truck driver said, I don't understand what went wrong.
I let 50lbs. out of each tire on the rig.
After thinking the problem over the scale master said, well 18 tires
times 50lbs., would equal 900lbs.
I guess my scales must be wrong.
I'm sorry driver, you may continue on down the road, and have a nice day.

.
~~~ A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss.
She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you
will want some identification?"
He replied without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary."
"How come?" asked the woman.
"Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk.

.
~~~ I thought I wanted a tattoo, so I had a friend come with me to the
tattoo parlor.
As I nervously paused outside the door, I noticed the T had slipped off their
sign...... Now it read "Creative ouch."

.
~~~ "Who likes music?" asks a commander.
Two soldiers step forward.
"OK you two...... I bought a piano.
Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor."
.
.
Todays Thought: Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy.........
but gets you nowhere.

Good Morning.......To my forum friends and all the other readers......
Welcome to our little piece of the world.....Sit, laff and enjoy.......
.

She's looking down...waiting for a small critter.....(breakfast)
.

See,..save energy...anyone can change the bulb...... but please wipe your feet..

.

I have no idea......but it looks to be a wild ride......

.

He's cute, but you gotta watch him as he's a thief.....

.

Peeking.....Checking ot the noise........

.

Bad...Bad...............

.

What can you say............

.

Cool...cool....

.

♥♥♥

~~~ Gus stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to Bobbie, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." "Yeah,"Bobbie nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."

. ~~~ Gus: "My mind seems to wander lately. "Bobbie: "Don't worry......... It's too weak to go very far.

. ~~~ Enticed by a television promotion, Bobbie ordered a popular exercise machine on a 30-day trial offer. Two weeks later she decided not to buy it, and called UPS to arrange for pickup. The next day the UPS driver arrived at her house. "Oh, no, not another one of these," he said. "All I've been doing is delivering these machines, then picking them up. The only person getting exercise from these things is me!"

. ~~~ A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.

. ~~~ The following are ways to determine whether a truck is company owned: 1. Company trucks travel faster in all gears. 2. They accelerate much faster than personal trucks, leaving tire marks on pavement. 3. They enjoy a much shorter braking distance, leaving more tire marks. 4. They can take bumps at twice the speed of private trucks. 5. Company trucks normally require oil changes at 100,000 mile intervals. 6. Their floors are shaped like ash trays, and accommodate milk cartons, coke bottles, leftover food, and paper wrappers. 7. They can be driven 100 miles or more with the oil pressure light flashing. 8. They are adapted to allow the transmission to be shifted into reverse while going forward at 20 mph. 9. Their tire walls are designed for bumping into and over curbs. 10. Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning the radio volume up. 11. Company trucks are not designed to be washed or waxed or to retain hubcaps. 12. All company trucks have many dents in the body, inflicted by a mysterious person called "not me".

. ~~~ The terrified parents rushed their four-year- old son, Ben, to the emergency room with a terrible cough, high fever, and vomiting. The doctor did a thorough exam, then asked Ben what bothered him the most. After thinking it over, Ben said hoarsely, "I would have to say my little sister."

. ~~~ A doctor told Mrs. Martin to give her husband one pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his stamina. A month later, when Mrs. Martin came in for another visit, the doctor asked, "How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?"Mrs Martin answered, "Well, he's a little behind with the pills, but he's about six months ahead with the whiskey."

. ~~~ A would-be writer sent playwright George S. Kaufman the manuscript for his book, hoping the famous man would use his influence to get it published. Kaufman was surprised to find the manuscript filled with spelling and grammar mistakes. He wrote back, "I'm not very good at it myself, but the first rule about spelling is that there is only one z in is.

. ~~~ In Maine, it is illegal for a Police Officer to tell a person to have a nice day after pulling that person over in a car and issuing them a ticket.

. ~~~ The painter James McNeill Whistler was cornered by a society snob, who asked him, "Whatever possessed you to be born in a place like Lowell, Massachusetts?" "I wished to be near my mother," Whistler explained.

. ~~~ Soup not only warms you and is easy to swallow and to digest, it also creates the illusion in the back of your mind that Mother is there.

. ~~~ We accompanied our son and his fiancee when they met with her priest to sign some pre-wedding ceremony papers. While filling out the form, our son read aloud a few questions. When he got to the last one which read "Are you entering this marriage at your own will?" He looked over at this fiancee........"Put down 'yes'" she said.

. ~~~ My eight-year-old daughter and I were listening to the radio when a commercial for a weight-loss program came on. The woman in the ad proudly announced that she had lost six inches using the program. My daughter looked at me, puzzled. "Why would anyone want to be shorter?"

. ~~~ A producer is smitten by a beautiful but less than brilliant young actress. He asks for her hand in marriage. She doesn't quite grasp what he's saying. He adds, "You don't understand. I want you to be the mother of my children. "The actress asks, "Really?......... How many do you have?"

. ~~~ "If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers. The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 percent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the US, than you are in Iraq..Conclusion: "The US should pull out of Washington. "

. ..Today's Thought: The problem with telephones is that they never nap when you do..

Good Morning.....people of the world.... Enjoy the Blog.......
I have fun doing it...... Besides, "Witchy Woman" likes it....
.

Cat bed? .............................
.


Begging for peanuts........
.

Lap top?.......wireless no less....................................

.

What are they loading on the plane ?

It's a hard disk in 1956... a hard disk drive with 5 MB storage.

In September 1956 IBM launched the 305 RAMAC, the first computer with

a hard disk drive.

The HDD weighed over a ton and stored a total 5 MB of data.

So start appreciating your one ounce 8 GB memory stick which has 1600

times the capacity of this monster!

.

She thinks something is funny..........
.

I don't know what to say......

.

He's ready to eat....... bring him a PB&J sandwich..........

.

♥♥♥

~~~ Pete; "I heard you were at the dog show the other day."
Gus; "Yes, I was."
Pete; "Win any prizes?"

.
~~~ "Will this ointment make me smart?"
"No, this is ordinary medicine, not a miracle drug."

.
~~~ Gus: "Where do all the bugs go in winter?"
Pete: "Search me."
Gus: "No, thanks. I just wanted to know."

.
~~~ Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.
Bobbie: It grew on company time.
Boss: Not all that hair.
Bobbie: I didn't get it all cut.

.
~~~ TOP 10 PICK-UP LINES FOR CHRISTIANS :
Hi, this pew taken?
My prayers are answered.
What's a charismatic like you doing in a mainline place like this?
How about we go over to my place for a little devotional?
Hi, angel!
Don't worry, I'm attracted to you purely in a spiritual way.
I'm Episcopalian..... What's YOUR sign?
I think you're sitting on my Bible.
Read any good Bible passages lately?
So, worship here often?

.
~~~ QUESTION: How do you know it's the FBI knocking on your door?
ANSWER: They're knocking on your door with a battering ram.

.
~~~ There was a mosquito and a dog who loved each other a lot.
One day the mosquito got excited and gave a love bite to the dog.
The dog became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito.
The next day...Mosquito died of rabies and dog died of malaria.

.
~~~ An Alaskan, upon arriving in Texas, approached a bystander and asked,
"Where can I find a doctor?"
"Are you ill?" inquired the Texan.
"No" grinned the Alaskan, "I'm suffering from claustrophobia."

.
~~~ After impatiently following a slow-moving pickup truck for several
kilometres on a hilly two-lane road, we decided to stop in the next town for
lunch and let the truck get far ahead.
We had a leisurely meal, and then pulled back onto the road. Just ahead
of us was another vehicle pulling out from a different restaurant.
It was the same truck.

.
~~~ An actual tip from page 16 of the Hewlett Packard "Environmental,
Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically
to lubricate your eyes."

.
~~~ The nurse who was expecting a raise received a paycheck with this note
attached:"Your raise will become effective as soon as you do."

.
~~~ At the salon, I overheard the receptionist admit to another customer,
"I haven't taken my vitamins today.
I'm walking around unprotected."
The customer commiserated with her.......
"I haven't taken my Prozac today—everyone's walking around unprotected."

.
~~~ During a phone conversation, my nephew mentioned that he was taking
a psychology course at university."
Oh, great," I said, "Now you'll be analyzing everyone in the family."
"No, no," he replied...."I don't take abnormal psychology until next semester."

.
~~~ Having lost weight over the past few years, a woman was discarding
things from her wardrobe that no longer fit.
Her seven-year-old daughter was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks.
"Wow," the woman said, "I must have worn these when I was a hundred
and eighty.
"Her daughter looked puzzled and asked, "How old are you now?"
.
.
.
Todays Thoughts: Old ways are like old sweaters -- they are easy to get into.