Oh...Well, what else is new?
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Am I that ugly??......
Must be......."GOLLY".....................
Awww, just go ahead..... It's only a bird.......
He looks like someone I know.....Is that you....Pete?? 
He looks like someone I know.....Is that you....Pete??.
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♥♥♥
~~~ The luncheon was about to begin when the master of ceremonies was informed that the clergyman invited to give the blessing was unable to attend.
He asked the main speaker if he would oblige, and the man agreed.
He began,...... "There is no clergyman present, let us thank God."
.
~~~ FED EX and UPS are going to merge............... They are going to call it FED UP....
.
~~~ A secretary walked into her boss's office & said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."
"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained.
"Tell me some good news for once."
"Alright, here's some good news, " said the secretary...... "You're not sterile."
.
~~~ Baby polar bear snuggles up to his mother and says, Mom are we 100% polar bear?
She says, Yes son.
Baby polar bear snuggles up to his father and says, Dad are we 100% polar bear?
says, yes son, why do you ask?
Baby says, "Cuz I'm freezin my butt off"!
.
~~~ ARGUMENT (ar*gyou*ment):n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
.
~~~ An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn't quite make it.
She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn.
Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500."
He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn.
A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee: $200."
.
~~~ A man with a heart condition inherits a million dollars.
His family, concerned that the shock might trigger a heart attack, asks his minister to tell him about the windfall.
The minister goes to the man's house and, after pleasantries, asks him, "What would you do if you inherited a million dollars?"
"Well, pastor," the man says, "I think I would give half of it to your church."
At that, the pastor keels over dead.
.
.
Todays Thought: Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose..
He asked the main speaker if he would oblige, and the man agreed.
He began,...... "There is no clergyman present, let us thank God."
.
~~~ FED EX and UPS are going to merge............... They are going to call it FED UP....
.
~~~ A secretary walked into her boss's office & said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."
"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained.
"Tell me some good news for once."
"Alright, here's some good news, " said the secretary...... "You're not sterile."
.
~~~ Baby polar bear snuggles up to his mother and says, Mom are we 100% polar bear?
She says, Yes son.
Baby polar bear snuggles up to his father and says, Dad are we 100% polar bear?
says, yes son, why do you ask?
Baby says, "Cuz I'm freezin my butt off"!
.
~~~ ARGUMENT (ar*gyou*ment):n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
.
~~~ An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn't quite make it.
She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn.
Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500."
He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn.
A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee: $200."
.
~~~ A man with a heart condition inherits a million dollars.
His family, concerned that the shock might trigger a heart attack, asks his minister to tell him about the windfall.
The minister goes to the man's house and, after pleasantries, asks him, "What would you do if you inherited a million dollars?"
"Well, pastor," the man says, "I think I would give half of it to your church."
At that, the pastor keels over dead.
.
.
Todays Thought: Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose..
.
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