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A real cutie.......right?
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He thought it was funny..........
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♥♥♥
~~~ At the dentist's office next to a bowl of candy:
"Why delay?......... Start new cavities today!"
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~~~ I work in a nursing home, and one morning I was helping a gentleman who was particularly hard to wake get ready for breakfast.
As I coaxed him to sit up, he fixed his twinkling blue eyes on my face and said, "My, you're pretty!
Have I asked you to marry me yet?"
"No you haven't," I replied.
"Good," he said, "because I could not put up with this every morning!"
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~~~ A friend said; I didn't realize how much my nursing career had affected my family until the day my three-year-old granddaughter said to me, "Grammy, I think my blood sugar is low...... Can I have a cookie?"
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~~~ My wife struggled with a career crisis: Should she quit her job?
Knowing how panicked she was, I called our florist and sent my wife a bouquet with a card that said, "I believe in you..... Love,... Gus.
"Later, she called to thank me.
"But I'm confused by the card," she said.
"Really? Why?"
"Because it reads, "I be leaving you..... Love,... Gus."
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~~~ Q: What do you call the day after two days of rain?
A: Monday.
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~~~ A little boy washed his teddy bear, tied a safety rope around its waist and sat it on the window sill of his 10th floor apartment to dry.
A gust of wind knocked the window closed and the teddy bear off the window sill.
A next door neighbor called the police and told them somebody was jumping or falling from that window.
Police rescued the suicidal teddy bear.
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~~~ An old man gets up every morning, goes out in front of his house, and sprinkles a white powder up and down the street.
One day, a neighbor who has watched his routine for many years confronts him.
“What is this powder you sprinkle on the street every morning?”
“It's special elephant powder,” the old man said.
“It keeps the elephants away.”
“But,” says the neighbor.... “Everybody knows that there are no elephants in Virginia.
”The old man just nodded, “I guess it must be working, then.”
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~~~ Aunt Sherry received a letter one morning, and upon reading it burst into floods of tears.
"What's the matter?" asked her companion.
"Oh dear," sobbed Auntie, "It's my favorite nephew..... He's got three feet.""Three feet?" exclaimed her friend.
"Surely that's not possible?"
"Well," said Auntie, "his mother's just written to tell me he's grown another foot!"
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~~~ Tommy sent a letter to his folks.
He told about a ten-mile hike he had taken.
His father wrote back saying, "In my day I thought nothing of walking ten miles.
"Tommy wrote back, "To tell the truth, I didn't think much of it either."
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~~~ James Cagney's wife often commented on her husband's memory.
In one story she told, she and Cagney were getting into a car in New York City when he spotted a man across the street.
Cagney pointed him out and said, "His name is Nathan Skidelsky.
He sat next to me in school.
"Mrs. Cagney was doubtful.
Prodigious memory or not, she couldn't believe that her husband could identify someone he hadn't seen for decades.
So she challenged him to prove that his claim was true.
Cagney accepted the challenge, crossed the street, and talked with the man.
"And you know what?" Mrs. Cagney said.
"It was Nathan Skidelsky.
The only problem was, he didn't remember who James Cagney was."
.
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Todays Thought: Youth is a gift of nature.... Age is a work of art.
.
"Why delay?......... Start new cavities today!"
.
~~~ I work in a nursing home, and one morning I was helping a gentleman who was particularly hard to wake get ready for breakfast.
As I coaxed him to sit up, he fixed his twinkling blue eyes on my face and said, "My, you're pretty!
Have I asked you to marry me yet?"
"No you haven't," I replied.
"Good," he said, "because I could not put up with this every morning!"
.
~~~ A friend said; I didn't realize how much my nursing career had affected my family until the day my three-year-old granddaughter said to me, "Grammy, I think my blood sugar is low...... Can I have a cookie?"
.
~~~ My wife struggled with a career crisis: Should she quit her job?
Knowing how panicked she was, I called our florist and sent my wife a bouquet with a card that said, "I believe in you..... Love,... Gus.
"Later, she called to thank me.
"But I'm confused by the card," she said.
"Really? Why?"
"Because it reads, "I be leaving you..... Love,... Gus."
.
~~~ Q: What do you call the day after two days of rain?
A: Monday.
.
~~~ A little boy washed his teddy bear, tied a safety rope around its waist and sat it on the window sill of his 10th floor apartment to dry.
A gust of wind knocked the window closed and the teddy bear off the window sill.
A next door neighbor called the police and told them somebody was jumping or falling from that window.
Police rescued the suicidal teddy bear.
.
~~~ An old man gets up every morning, goes out in front of his house, and sprinkles a white powder up and down the street.
One day, a neighbor who has watched his routine for many years confronts him.
“What is this powder you sprinkle on the street every morning?”
“It's special elephant powder,” the old man said.
“It keeps the elephants away.”
“But,” says the neighbor.... “Everybody knows that there are no elephants in Virginia.
”The old man just nodded, “I guess it must be working, then.”
.
~~~ Aunt Sherry received a letter one morning, and upon reading it burst into floods of tears.
"What's the matter?" asked her companion.
"Oh dear," sobbed Auntie, "It's my favorite nephew..... He's got three feet.""Three feet?" exclaimed her friend.
"Surely that's not possible?"
"Well," said Auntie, "his mother's just written to tell me he's grown another foot!"
.
~~~ Tommy sent a letter to his folks.
He told about a ten-mile hike he had taken.
His father wrote back saying, "In my day I thought nothing of walking ten miles.
"Tommy wrote back, "To tell the truth, I didn't think much of it either."
.
~~~ James Cagney's wife often commented on her husband's memory.
In one story she told, she and Cagney were getting into a car in New York City when he spotted a man across the street.
Cagney pointed him out and said, "His name is Nathan Skidelsky.
He sat next to me in school.
"Mrs. Cagney was doubtful.
Prodigious memory or not, she couldn't believe that her husband could identify someone he hadn't seen for decades.
So she challenged him to prove that his claim was true.
Cagney accepted the challenge, crossed the street, and talked with the man.
"And you know what?" Mrs. Cagney said.
"It was Nathan Skidelsky.
The only problem was, he didn't remember who James Cagney was."
.
.
Todays Thought: Youth is a gift of nature.... Age is a work of art.
.
1 comment:
Love the BLOG...Keep it up...
Pete
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