Not a fun day.......
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Weird........
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Cute......
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~~~ A third-grade teacher was instructing her students in some of the wonders of nature and ended by saying, "Isn't it wonderful how baby chickens get out of their shells?"
An eight-year-old, showing more curiosity than the rest said, "What gets me is how they got in."
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~~~ A man listens to his son yelling at his mother.
After they finish fighting and make up the man calls his son and says: "Take this hammer and drive this nail into that piece of wood".
Afterwards the father tells him to pull out the nail.
Than the father said: "When you fight with your mother, you drive a nail through her heart.
But look at how when you are forgiven and you take out the nail, the hole stays."
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~~~ A LITTLE SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Assume you drive your car at light speed. What happens when you turn on the front lights?
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~~~ A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle.
Friends visited and asked if the ranch had a name.
"Well," said the would-be cattleman, "I wanted to name it the Bar-J.
My wife favored Suzy-Q, one son like the Flying-W, and the other wanted the Lazy-Y.
So we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y."
"But where are all your cattle?" the friends asked.
"None survived the branding."
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~~~ Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he explained...
"It took us awhile to find a new pilot."
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~~~ A visitor to a movie studio was impressed with the skill and courage of the stunt man plunging over a cliff, doing handstands on an airplane wing.
"How does he survive it?" the visitor marveled.
"I don't know," answered the guide....."They get a different guy every stunt."
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~~~ Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints.
I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband.
When I showed him the photos, his face lit up.
"Wow, look at that!" he said with appreciation.... "It's my old Plymouth!"
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~~~ What's a crick? The sound a Japanese camera makes.
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~~~ While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy for everyone to admire.
She also brought along her 7-year-old son.
While we gathered around the baby, the little boy asked, "Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?"
"What do you say?" she asked.Quickly, the boy replied, "You're thin and beautiful.
"The woman reached in her purse and gave her son the money.
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~~~ "Don't let anybody walk through your mind with dirty feet." (Gandhi)
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~~~ Nobody ever calls you up to tell you something good you did when you were drunk. Nobody's ever said, "Gus, you got ripped last night and painted the orphanage."
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Todays Thought: Eat and drink with your relatives; do business with strangers.
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An eight-year-old, showing more curiosity than the rest said, "What gets me is how they got in."
.
~~~ A man listens to his son yelling at his mother.
After they finish fighting and make up the man calls his son and says: "Take this hammer and drive this nail into that piece of wood".
Afterwards the father tells him to pull out the nail.
Than the father said: "When you fight with your mother, you drive a nail through her heart.
But look at how when you are forgiven and you take out the nail, the hole stays."
.
~~~ A LITTLE SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Assume you drive your car at light speed. What happens when you turn on the front lights?
.
~~~ A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle.
Friends visited and asked if the ranch had a name.
"Well," said the would-be cattleman, "I wanted to name it the Bar-J.
My wife favored Suzy-Q, one son like the Flying-W, and the other wanted the Lazy-Y.
So we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y."
"But where are all your cattle?" the friends asked.
"None survived the branding."
.
~~~ Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he explained...
"It took us awhile to find a new pilot."
.
~~~ A visitor to a movie studio was impressed with the skill and courage of the stunt man plunging over a cliff, doing handstands on an airplane wing.
"How does he survive it?" the visitor marveled.
"I don't know," answered the guide....."They get a different guy every stunt."
.
~~~ Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints.
I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband.
When I showed him the photos, his face lit up.
"Wow, look at that!" he said with appreciation.... "It's my old Plymouth!"
.
~~~ What's a crick? The sound a Japanese camera makes.
.
~~~ While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy for everyone to admire.
She also brought along her 7-year-old son.
While we gathered around the baby, the little boy asked, "Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?"
"What do you say?" she asked.Quickly, the boy replied, "You're thin and beautiful.
"The woman reached in her purse and gave her son the money.
.
~~~ "Don't let anybody walk through your mind with dirty feet." (Gandhi)
.
~~~ Nobody ever calls you up to tell you something good you did when you were drunk. Nobody's ever said, "Gus, you got ripped last night and painted the orphanage."
.
.
Todays Thought: Eat and drink with your relatives; do business with strangers.
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.
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