.
Late....because I was having coffee on the deck, and forgot the time....
Now someone is mad.....................
A coffee hound??
A coffee hound??.
A Pepsi bear?????
A Pepsi bear?????.
Their just watching that bear......
Their just watching that bear.......
This guy was hungry........watch the fingers..................
This guy was hungry........watch the fingers...................
A wooly pig???
A wooly pig???.
There has to be a joke somewere in this..........................
There has to be a joke somewere in this...........................
My friend "ENO"........................
My friend "ENO".........................
♥♥♥
.
~~~ Leaving for a vacation in Alaska Pete promised to mail his friend a piece of glacier.
Gus protested, saying that by the time it reached him it would be gone.
Pete answered, "Surely not.....
Who would want to steal a piece of glacier from an envelope?"
.
~~~ Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.
He was stiff legged and walking slowly.
One of the students said to his friend: 'I'm sure the poor old man has Petry Syndrome.....
Those people walk just like that.'
The other student says: 'No, I don't think so.
The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
He walks slowly and his legs are apart just as we learned in class.'
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.
They approached him and one of the students said to him: 'We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have... Could you tell us what it is?'
The old man said: 'I'll tell you, but first you must tell me what you two fine medical students think.'
One of the students said: 'I think it's Petry Syndrome.
'The old man said: 'You thought....... But you are wrong.'
Then the other student said: 'I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.'
The old man said: 'You thought........ But you are wrong.
So they asked him: 'Well, old timer, what do you have?'
The old man said: 'I thought it was GAS.......... But I was wrong!
.
~~~ A baseball fan is a spectator sitting five hundred feet from home plate who can see better than an umpire standing five feet away.
.
~~~ The wheel was invented so we could move faster.
Credit was invented so we would have to.
.
~~~ Ponder These words:
RESUME: The closest many of us will ever come to perfection.....
PHONESIA: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PASSWORD: Series of letters and numbers written on a post-it note and stuck on a monitor. COMPREHENSION: Something that one has to get in order to get it.
CELL PHONE: An electronic device for one-to-one communication and one-to-many irritation.
.
~~~ COMPUTER EXPERT: Someone who has not read the instructions, but who will nevertheless feel qualified to install a program and, when it does not function correctly, pronounce it incompatible with the operating system.
.
~~~ When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks.
"Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked.
Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise.
She handed me the package saying, "I'll take them."
Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me.......
"Can I have another pack?..... This one's been opened."
.
~~~ "Mom, can I go out and play baseball?"
"With those holes in your socks?"
"No, with the kids next door."
.
~~~ My girlfriend broke up with me.
She said it's because I was always correcting her.
She came over to my house and said, "Eddie, we need to talk."
I said, "My name is Eric."
She said, "See? I can't say anything right around you!"
.
~~~ Ever wonder who the genius is who decided to put fire hydrants in all the good parking spots?
.
~~~ A little boy took the chair at the barbershop.
"How would you like your hair cut today, son?" asked the barber.
"Oh, do it like you do Daddy's, with the big hole at the back."
.
.
Todays Thought: A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor......
.
Gus protested, saying that by the time it reached him it would be gone.
Pete answered, "Surely not.....
Who would want to steal a piece of glacier from an envelope?"
.
~~~ Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.
He was stiff legged and walking slowly.
One of the students said to his friend: 'I'm sure the poor old man has Petry Syndrome.....
Those people walk just like that.'
The other student says: 'No, I don't think so.
The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
He walks slowly and his legs are apart just as we learned in class.'
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.
They approached him and one of the students said to him: 'We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have... Could you tell us what it is?'
The old man said: 'I'll tell you, but first you must tell me what you two fine medical students think.'
One of the students said: 'I think it's Petry Syndrome.
'The old man said: 'You thought....... But you are wrong.'
Then the other student said: 'I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.'
The old man said: 'You thought........ But you are wrong.
So they asked him: 'Well, old timer, what do you have?'
The old man said: 'I thought it was GAS.......... But I was wrong!
.
~~~ A baseball fan is a spectator sitting five hundred feet from home plate who can see better than an umpire standing five feet away.
.
~~~ The wheel was invented so we could move faster.
Credit was invented so we would have to.
.
~~~ Ponder These words:
RESUME: The closest many of us will ever come to perfection.....
PHONESIA: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PASSWORD: Series of letters and numbers written on a post-it note and stuck on a monitor. COMPREHENSION: Something that one has to get in order to get it.
CELL PHONE: An electronic device for one-to-one communication and one-to-many irritation.
.
~~~ COMPUTER EXPERT: Someone who has not read the instructions, but who will nevertheless feel qualified to install a program and, when it does not function correctly, pronounce it incompatible with the operating system.
.
~~~ When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks.
"Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked.
Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise.
She handed me the package saying, "I'll take them."
Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me.......
"Can I have another pack?..... This one's been opened."
.
~~~ "Mom, can I go out and play baseball?"
"With those holes in your socks?"
"No, with the kids next door."
.
~~~ My girlfriend broke up with me.
She said it's because I was always correcting her.
She came over to my house and said, "Eddie, we need to talk."
I said, "My name is Eric."
She said, "See? I can't say anything right around you!"
.
~~~ Ever wonder who the genius is who decided to put fire hydrants in all the good parking spots?
.
~~~ A little boy took the chair at the barbershop.
"How would you like your hair cut today, son?" asked the barber.
"Oh, do it like you do Daddy's, with the big hole at the back."
.
.
Todays Thought: A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor......
.
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