Down Hummingbird Lane

Good morning....friends....
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He's got his eyes on you........
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Lost...lost...lost....
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Now, I'll tell you...He's mad.....so look out...

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Laff, or I shoot the cat...........

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I bet that's a lot of fun........

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Now, ..get the MOP.......

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And a towel...............

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Don't look now.................................................

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All I can think is: The End......

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~~~ The doctor was explaining the seriousness of Gus's condition to him and asked him if he wanted to be resuscitated.
"How should I know?" he replied..... "I've never died before!"

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~~~ EXPERIENCE: The ability to repeat one's mistakes with ever- increasing confidence.

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~~~ It is one of the great troubles of life that we cannot have any unmixed emotions.
There is always something in our enemy that we like, and something in our sweetheart that we dislike.

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~~~ My brother, Fred, agreed to take his young nephews to a neighborhood picnic.
A few hours later, just as my father was wondering how Fred was managing, my mother walked into the room brandishing her cellphone, laughing.
Dad took it from her and read aloud the text message she had just received:
"Marshmallows burned, ketchup in hair, kids tossing newspapers on bonfire, smoke all over. Great party....... Kids happy.
Never again.... Am smarter.... Much smarter."

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~~~ Passing a miniature golf course on a brutally humid day, I saw a dad following three small children from hole to hole.
"Who's winning?" I shouted.
"I am," said one kid."
Me" said another. "
No, me," yelled the third.
Sweat dripping down his face, the dad gasped, "Their mother is."

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~~~ QUESTION: What's psycho-ceramics?
ANSWER: The study of crackpots.

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~~~ The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?"
"No sir, your honor, sir," replied Rae,..... "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'.
I'm the person who done it."

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~~~ "I would like some vitamins for my son," the mother said as she walked into the pharmacy.
"Vitamins A, B, or C?" asks the pharmacist.
"It doesn't matter, he can't read yet."

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~~~ My choir was preparing for a tour, and our manager was getting anxious because the deadline to hand in our rooming preferences was far overdue.
She called the group to order and explained her dilemma, then concluded with this:
"If you could all give me the list of whom you'd like to sleep with, we'll be on our way."

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~~~ Marvin had been fishing all day without any luck.
On the way home he stopped at a fish market and said to the clerk, "Please stand there and throw me a few of your biggest trout."
The clerk was puzzled.....
"Throw them to you?.... What for?"
"I may be a poor fisherman," Marvin replied, "but I'm no liar.
I want to be able to say I caught them myself."
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Todays thought: You can't fly like an eagle if you think like a chicken..........
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