.
A lighting strike on the mountains.....
Opps.....He goofed.....
Watch the fingers....their hungry....
Watch the fingers....their hungry.....
We don't ether.... You "Witchy"?
We don't ether.... You "Witchy"?.
Did you see that??
Did you see that??.
Not me!!!
Not me!!!.
Keep on and I'll smack you again!!
Their looking for breakfast......
Keep on and I'll smack you again!!.
Their looking for breakfast.......
She's checking out the pretty fish..... 
She's checking out the pretty fish......
♥♥♥
~~~ Alison: Look--there's a baby snake.
Bobbie: How do you know it's a baby?
Alison: You can tell by its rattle.
.
~~~ I'm in favor of the daytime game shows.
If it weren't for them millions of women would be out driving cars!
.
~~~ A Pete an Pat go to an art gallery.
They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves.
Pat doesn't like it and moves on but Pete keeps looking.
Pat asks: "What are you waiting for?"
Pete replies: "Autumn."
.
~~~ Gray hair is a blessing...ask any bald man.
.
~~~ It was a hot summer day, and the old courthouse was just as hot.
The air was thick and humid, and the jury was having a hard time staying focused.
One of the jurors succumbed to the heat, falling asleep just as the victim was being questioned by the prosecutor.
"The defendant is accused of making obscene phone calls to your home."
Would you please tell the jury precisely what the defendant said when he called you," asked the prosecutor.
"I can't do that," the victim replied.
"It was so crude and disgusting.
I can't use language like that."
"Would it help to just write it down?"
The victim wrote out every detail of what the obscene caller had said, and passed the note to the judge.
The judge read the note.
It was then passed to the prosecutor, the defense attorney, and finally to the jury.
The sleeping juror was seated at the back corner of the jury box, and was the last to receive the note.
He was awoken with a nudge from an attractive young juror, seated next to him, and she passed him the note.
He read it, gazed in awe at the woman, and read it again.
He turned to her, smiling broadly, and winked.
He then put the note into his pocket.
The judge demanded, "Please pass that note to the bailiff."
"But your honor," the juror protested, "It's a private matter."
.
~~~ Pete said: Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat and taking the tartar sauce with you.
.
~~~Church notice bloopers: Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
.
~~~ Gus, had been waiting entirely too long at the doctor's office.
His appointment was for 9:00 and it was nearly 10:30.
Finally, an attractive nurse appeared at the waiting room door and said, "Let's go get a room."
"Honey, I appreciate the offer," he said, "but I've been waiting so long I'd hate to lose my spot now!"
.
~~~ Wyatt had a bad cold was taken to the doctor by his mother.
After examining him the doctor said, "I can treat his symptoms, but there is not much else I can do..... He has a virus."
After they left the doctor's office, the boy said to his mother, "That doctor sure is dumb.
He thinks I'm a computer."
.
~~~ Mark: What does your mother do for a headache? Wyatt: She sends me out to play.
.
~~~ When Marlene brought her eight-year-old son Christopher to the children's room at the library, he was delighted to see it had a new chess set for kids.
He went up to the children's librarian and said, "Thank you..... I love your new chest."
.
~~~ "Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Pat's best friend.
"Why shouldn't I?" said Pat.
"Well, maybe he is having an affair?"
"No way" said Pat...... "he never returns with any fish..."
.
.
Todays Thought: "A true friend is one who likes you despite your achievements."
Bobbie: How do you know it's a baby?
Alison: You can tell by its rattle.
.
~~~ I'm in favor of the daytime game shows.
If it weren't for them millions of women would be out driving cars!
.
~~~ A Pete an Pat go to an art gallery.
They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves.
Pat doesn't like it and moves on but Pete keeps looking.
Pat asks: "What are you waiting for?"
Pete replies: "Autumn."
.
~~~ Gray hair is a blessing...ask any bald man.
.
~~~ It was a hot summer day, and the old courthouse was just as hot.
The air was thick and humid, and the jury was having a hard time staying focused.
One of the jurors succumbed to the heat, falling asleep just as the victim was being questioned by the prosecutor.
"The defendant is accused of making obscene phone calls to your home."
Would you please tell the jury precisely what the defendant said when he called you," asked the prosecutor.
"I can't do that," the victim replied.
"It was so crude and disgusting.
I can't use language like that."
"Would it help to just write it down?"
The victim wrote out every detail of what the obscene caller had said, and passed the note to the judge.
The judge read the note.
It was then passed to the prosecutor, the defense attorney, and finally to the jury.
The sleeping juror was seated at the back corner of the jury box, and was the last to receive the note.
He was awoken with a nudge from an attractive young juror, seated next to him, and she passed him the note.
He read it, gazed in awe at the woman, and read it again.
He turned to her, smiling broadly, and winked.
He then put the note into his pocket.
The judge demanded, "Please pass that note to the bailiff."
"But your honor," the juror protested, "It's a private matter."
.
~~~ Pete said: Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat and taking the tartar sauce with you.
.
~~~Church notice bloopers: Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
.
~~~ Gus, had been waiting entirely too long at the doctor's office.
His appointment was for 9:00 and it was nearly 10:30.
Finally, an attractive nurse appeared at the waiting room door and said, "Let's go get a room."
"Honey, I appreciate the offer," he said, "but I've been waiting so long I'd hate to lose my spot now!"
.
~~~ Wyatt had a bad cold was taken to the doctor by his mother.
After examining him the doctor said, "I can treat his symptoms, but there is not much else I can do..... He has a virus."
After they left the doctor's office, the boy said to his mother, "That doctor sure is dumb.
He thinks I'm a computer."
.
~~~ Mark: What does your mother do for a headache? Wyatt: She sends me out to play.
.
~~~ When Marlene brought her eight-year-old son Christopher to the children's room at the library, he was delighted to see it had a new chess set for kids.
He went up to the children's librarian and said, "Thank you..... I love your new chest."
.
~~~ "Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Pat's best friend.
"Why shouldn't I?" said Pat.
"Well, maybe he is having an affair?"
"No way" said Pat...... "he never returns with any fish..."
.
.
Todays Thought: "A true friend is one who likes you despite your achievements."
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