.
My zip lock bag cheese omelet for breakfast.......
Yep....the farmer next door makes them earn their keep.....
Smile, damn it....SMILE!
Smile, damn it....SMILE!.
Gotta add these horse pictures for Carol.....
Pretty picture......
Gotta add these horse pictures for Carol.....Pretty picture.......
I just don't know about this picture??? 
They would laff him out of the quarry around here.......
Haircuts...........?
I just don't know about this picture???.
They would laff him out of the quarry around here........
Haircuts...........?.
How about this hair-do ????
How about this hair-do ????.
♥♥♥
~~~ In Portland, Oregon, a bank robber wrote instructions on a piece of paper:
"This is a holdup and I've got a gun.
Put all the money in a paper bag.
When this message was pushed through the grille, the cashier wrote on the bottom.
"I don't have a paper bag." and passed it back.
The robber fled.
.
~~~ "We have a strange and wonderful relationship...
Gus is strange and Bobbie is wonderful....
.
~~~ Bobbie's girls’ school in the south is giving her students what she calls a “charm course.”
“You give your escort the chance to be gallant,” she says.
“For instance, you should remain seated in the pickup truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you.
”Then, returning to reality she adds “Of course, if the big oaf is in the restaurant ordering his steak, don’t wait any longer.”
.
~~~ An American history professor was asked to teach a class in medieval history.
Not an expert on the Middle Ages, he was worried about what he'd be able to offer the students.
His fears were soon laid to rest.
During the first class, he asked the students, "Why are you taking this medieval history course?"
A freshman quickly said, "Because I really like the 1800's."
.
~~~ It seems that life goes by resembling somewhat of a bell curve of what is considered successful...
At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 10...success is...making your own meals.
At age 12...success is...having friends.
At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 20...success is...having sex.
At age 35...success is...having money.
At age 50...success is...having money.
At age 60...success is...having sex.
At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 75...success is...having friends.
At age 80...success is...making your own meals.
At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.
.
~~~ The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
.
~~~ A guy walks into a bar with a small dog.
The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!
"The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog...this dog can play the piano!"
The bartender hooks a thumb over at a piano in the corner, "If that dog can play that piano, you both get a drink on the house!"
The guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.
Ragtime, Mozart...and the bartender and patrons are loving it.
Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.
The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"
The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother.
She wanted him to be a dentist."
.
~~~ Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one's bottom.
.
~~~ While vacationing, we were stopped on the road by a police officer for exceeding the posted speed limit.
Trying to think of some way out of the predicament, I said to the officer, "Do you realize how much money we've spent in this area today?"
"Well," replied the officer, "you're about to spend a little more."
.
~~~ After he gave his lengthy speech, the orator confided to his wife, "I don't mind if people look at their wristwatches when I'm speaking.
But I sure don't like it when they take the watches off and shake them."
.
~~~ The student brought home what was to be remembered as his Watergate report card. First, he denied there was one, then he couldn't find it.
When it was finally located, two grades had been erased.
.
~~~ Money is a bottomless sea, in which honor, conscience, and truth may be drowned.
.
.
Todays Thought: "There's none so dumb as those that don't want to know."
.
"This is a holdup and I've got a gun.
Put all the money in a paper bag.
When this message was pushed through the grille, the cashier wrote on the bottom.
"I don't have a paper bag." and passed it back.
The robber fled.
.
~~~ "We have a strange and wonderful relationship...
Gus is strange and Bobbie is wonderful....
.
~~~ Bobbie's girls’ school in the south is giving her students what she calls a “charm course.”
“You give your escort the chance to be gallant,” she says.
“For instance, you should remain seated in the pickup truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you.
”Then, returning to reality she adds “Of course, if the big oaf is in the restaurant ordering his steak, don’t wait any longer.”
.
~~~ An American history professor was asked to teach a class in medieval history.
Not an expert on the Middle Ages, he was worried about what he'd be able to offer the students.
His fears were soon laid to rest.
During the first class, he asked the students, "Why are you taking this medieval history course?"
A freshman quickly said, "Because I really like the 1800's."
.
~~~ It seems that life goes by resembling somewhat of a bell curve of what is considered successful...
At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 10...success is...making your own meals.
At age 12...success is...having friends.
At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 20...success is...having sex.
At age 35...success is...having money.
At age 50...success is...having money.
At age 60...success is...having sex.
At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 75...success is...having friends.
At age 80...success is...making your own meals.
At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.
.
~~~ The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
.
~~~ A guy walks into a bar with a small dog.
The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!
"The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog...this dog can play the piano!"
The bartender hooks a thumb over at a piano in the corner, "If that dog can play that piano, you both get a drink on the house!"
The guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.
Ragtime, Mozart...and the bartender and patrons are loving it.
Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.
The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"
The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother.
She wanted him to be a dentist."
.
~~~ Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one's bottom.
.
~~~ While vacationing, we were stopped on the road by a police officer for exceeding the posted speed limit.
Trying to think of some way out of the predicament, I said to the officer, "Do you realize how much money we've spent in this area today?"
"Well," replied the officer, "you're about to spend a little more."
.
~~~ After he gave his lengthy speech, the orator confided to his wife, "I don't mind if people look at their wristwatches when I'm speaking.
But I sure don't like it when they take the watches off and shake them."
.
~~~ The student brought home what was to be remembered as his Watergate report card. First, he denied there was one, then he couldn't find it.
When it was finally located, two grades had been erased.
.
~~~ Money is a bottomless sea, in which honor, conscience, and truth may be drowned.
.
.
Todays Thought: "There's none so dumb as those that don't want to know."
.
1 comment:
Thanx Gus...:)
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