.
My plum tree I planted from a cutting.....wondering how big it will get,
with the curve in the trunk??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
~~~ My son-in-law Paul works long hours then referees a lot of hockey games at night.
After one particularly long week of work and hockey, my daughter was pleased when Paul told her, "I should spend more time with you."
As she turned to thank him, she realized he was talking to their dog Lucy.
.
~~~ Gus: How long can a person live without a brain?
Pete: How old are you?
.
~~~ On the way to a confirmation ceremony one day, the notoriously absentminded bishop William Cecil (1863-1936) misplaced his train ticket.
"It's all right, my Lord," the ticket collector kindly remarked.
"We know who you are."
"That's all very well," Cecil replied, "but without my ticket how am I to know where I am going?"
.
~~~ Gus: This match won't light.
Pete: What's the matter with it?
Gus: I don't know -- it lit before.
.
~~~ One day in his eighty-seventh year, Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. passed a beautiful girl while out strolling with another old friend.
"Oh," he remarked, turning to watch her as she walked away, "to be seventy again!"
.
~~~ The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
.
~~~ During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids.
"Now I'm dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid.
Will it dissolve?"
"No, sir," a student called out.
"No?" queried the professor.
"Perhaps you can explain why the silver coin won't dissolve."
"Well, Professor, if it would, you would have asked for MY coin for the experiment!"
.
~~~ A publishing company made a Bible for teens.
You can tell it's for teens because at one point Moses tells Pharaoh, "We're so out of here!"
.
~~~ I was visiting my mother in Princeton, New Jersey.
My sisters, their husbands and many nieces and nephews had gathered to welcome our newborn, David.
Suddenly, Sara and Jessica, both five, began to squabble over who'd get to hold baby David on their lap first.
My mother, with her years of wisdom, suggested they sit side by side and both hold the baby. Not to be outdone, Sara piped up and said, "Okay!..........
But I want the end with the head on it!"
.
~~~ A psychology professor was asked by a student, "Doctor, you've told us about the abnormal person and his behavior, but what about the normal person?"
"If we ever find him," replied the professor, "we'll cure him."
.
~~~ Mom admitted to being a less than fastidious housekeeper.
One evening dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and said, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."
Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Well, darling, that's a pretty good start.
I'm sure with some patient practicing you could even learn to dust it."
.
~~~ GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER;
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says - something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
.
.
Todays thought: "Passwords are like underwear: you don’t let people see it, you should change it very often, and you shouldn’t share it with strangers."
.
.
♥♥♥
~~~ "A world without tomatoes is like a string quartet without violins."
.
~~~ My son-in-law Paul works long hours then referees a lot of hockey games at night.
After one particularly long week of work and hockey, my daughter was pleased when Paul told her, "I should spend more time with you."
As she turned to thank him, she realized he was talking to their dog Lucy.
.
~~~ Gus: How long can a person live without a brain?
Pete: How old are you?
.
~~~ On the way to a confirmation ceremony one day, the notoriously absentminded bishop William Cecil (1863-1936) misplaced his train ticket.
"It's all right, my Lord," the ticket collector kindly remarked.
"We know who you are."
"That's all very well," Cecil replied, "but without my ticket how am I to know where I am going?"
.
~~~ Gus: This match won't light.
Pete: What's the matter with it?
Gus: I don't know -- it lit before.
.
~~~ One day in his eighty-seventh year, Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. passed a beautiful girl while out strolling with another old friend.
"Oh," he remarked, turning to watch her as she walked away, "to be seventy again!"
.
~~~ The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
.
~~~ During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids.
"Now I'm dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid.
Will it dissolve?"
"No, sir," a student called out.
"No?" queried the professor.
"Perhaps you can explain why the silver coin won't dissolve."
"Well, Professor, if it would, you would have asked for MY coin for the experiment!"
.
~~~ A publishing company made a Bible for teens.
You can tell it's for teens because at one point Moses tells Pharaoh, "We're so out of here!"
.
~~~ I was visiting my mother in Princeton, New Jersey.
My sisters, their husbands and many nieces and nephews had gathered to welcome our newborn, David.
Suddenly, Sara and Jessica, both five, began to squabble over who'd get to hold baby David on their lap first.
My mother, with her years of wisdom, suggested they sit side by side and both hold the baby. Not to be outdone, Sara piped up and said, "Okay!..........
But I want the end with the head on it!"
.
~~~ A psychology professor was asked by a student, "Doctor, you've told us about the abnormal person and his behavior, but what about the normal person?"
"If we ever find him," replied the professor, "we'll cure him."
.
~~~ Mom admitted to being a less than fastidious housekeeper.
One evening dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and said, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."
Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Well, darling, that's a pretty good start.
I'm sure with some patient practicing you could even learn to dust it."
.
~~~ GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER;
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says - something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
.
.
Todays thought: "Passwords are like underwear: you don’t let people see it, you should change it very often, and you shouldn’t share it with strangers."
.
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