"Witchy" went 'running'....ha-ha.....
.
Heading out for breakfast........ some local scenery...
What dis was?.........looks weird!.
I don't know what to say........
I don't know what to say.........
Posing for his picture......
Posing for his picture.......
I don't know....you think it bites??
I don't know....you think it bites??.
Their having fun..........
Their having fun...........
She's saying....what have you got yourself into now??
She's saying....what have you got yourself into now??.
Oh, Well....time for a nap.........
Oh, Well....time for a nap..........
♥♥♥
~~~ My friend Pete always carried an umbrella.
One by one, he broke each one he owned until six useless ones were in his umbrella stand.
One morning, he took the umbrellas into the city and left them at a repair shop.
On the bus going home, out of pure habit, he picked up the umbrella that belonged to the
woman sitting next to him.
She yelled, “Stop, thief,” and he gave her the umbrella very embarrassed.
The next week, he picked up the umbrellas at the repair shop.
When he got on the bus with them, he happened to sit next to the same woman.
He didn't recognize her, but she recognized him.
Giving him an icy stare, she said, “Had a good day, huh?”
.
~~~ It’s career day in the fourth grade, and the teacher instructs her students to stand up, state a parent’s occupation, spell it and then tell what their parents would do if they were there that day.
One youngster stands up and says, “My mother is an accountant, A- C-C-O-U-N-T-A-N-T, and if she were here today, she would help you balance your checkbook.”
“Good,” says the teacher, then points to another boy.
The youngster stands up and says, “My father is an electrician, E-L-E- K-T, no, no, E-L-E-C-K-T no ...L-E-C-K- no...
”The teacher interrupts.
“Never mind, Jimmy, you can sit down, think about it and give it another try later,” and she calls on another little fellow.
“My dad’s a bookie,” says the boy.
“That’s B-O-O-K-I-E, and if he were here today he’d give you 10 to 1 odds that there’s no way Jimmy’s ever gonna spell ‘electrician."
.
~~~ Backpacking is an extended form of hiking in which people carry double the amount of gear they need for half the distance they planned to go in twice the time it should take.
.
~~~ One of the men in the cafeteria line looked at the soldier standing in front of him and asked, "What do they have to drink today: coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?"
The soldier looked down into his nearly empty mug and said, "I don't know.
They didn't tell me what it was."
.
~~~ As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides.
The Crown prosecutor asked such questions as: Had I ever been mugged?
Did I know the victim or the defendant?
The defense attorney took a different approach, however.
"I see you are a teacher," he said.
"What do you teach?"
"English and theater," I responded.
"Then I guess I better watch my grammar," the defense attorney quipped.
"No" I shot back."You better watch your acting."
When the laughter in the courtroom died down, I was excused from the case.
.
~~~ Because our husbands, both medical students in their final years of internship, were on call for extended periods, my friend and I were lamenting the fact that we were left alone every fourth night with our young children.
With a toddler and a newborn, Allison was especially desperate for help on occasion.
Even when her husband was home, he was so exhausted that he never heard the children’s cries at night.
But she noticed that he always heard his pager when he was called for an emergency at the hospital.
So she did the obvious: When she needed his assistance at night, she paged him.
.
~~~ Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season is Like Christmas:
10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).
9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights).
8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials".
6. Family coming to stay with you.
5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.
4. Buying food you don't normally buy...and in large quantities.
3. Days off from work.
2. Candles.
1 And...At some point you know you're going to have a tree/branches in your house.
.
~~~ I've done the calculations and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
.
~~~ "Bobbie said that her trainer at the gym advised her to wear loose clothes.
She told him, "Hey, if I had loose clothes, why would I join a gym?"
.
~~~ When her grandson, Seth, was sent to stand outside the principal's office...
His grandma asked him, after school, "But why did you have to stand outside the principal's office?"
"Well, Grandma," he replied, "when you're in trouble, they don't offer you a chair."
.
~~~ I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue."
Fathers never get a chance to use much of it.
.
~~~ A young woman was describing her date to a friend.
"After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused.
I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that."
"Then what happened?" asked her friend.
"He kept insisting and I kept refusing," the young woman responded
."He didn't weaken your resolve, did he?" the friend asked.
"Not a bit in the end, we went back to his apartment........
I figured, let his mother worry."
.
One by one, he broke each one he owned until six useless ones were in his umbrella stand.
One morning, he took the umbrellas into the city and left them at a repair shop.
On the bus going home, out of pure habit, he picked up the umbrella that belonged to the
woman sitting next to him.
She yelled, “Stop, thief,” and he gave her the umbrella very embarrassed.
The next week, he picked up the umbrellas at the repair shop.
When he got on the bus with them, he happened to sit next to the same woman.
He didn't recognize her, but she recognized him.
Giving him an icy stare, she said, “Had a good day, huh?”
.
~~~ It’s career day in the fourth grade, and the teacher instructs her students to stand up, state a parent’s occupation, spell it and then tell what their parents would do if they were there that day.
One youngster stands up and says, “My mother is an accountant, A- C-C-O-U-N-T-A-N-T, and if she were here today, she would help you balance your checkbook.”
“Good,” says the teacher, then points to another boy.
The youngster stands up and says, “My father is an electrician, E-L-E- K-T, no, no, E-L-E-C-K-T no ...L-E-C-K- no...
”The teacher interrupts.
“Never mind, Jimmy, you can sit down, think about it and give it another try later,” and she calls on another little fellow.
“My dad’s a bookie,” says the boy.
“That’s B-O-O-K-I-E, and if he were here today he’d give you 10 to 1 odds that there’s no way Jimmy’s ever gonna spell ‘electrician."
.
~~~ Backpacking is an extended form of hiking in which people carry double the amount of gear they need for half the distance they planned to go in twice the time it should take.
.
~~~ One of the men in the cafeteria line looked at the soldier standing in front of him and asked, "What do they have to drink today: coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?"
The soldier looked down into his nearly empty mug and said, "I don't know.
They didn't tell me what it was."
.
~~~ As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides.
The Crown prosecutor asked such questions as: Had I ever been mugged?
Did I know the victim or the defendant?
The defense attorney took a different approach, however.
"I see you are a teacher," he said.
"What do you teach?"
"English and theater," I responded.
"Then I guess I better watch my grammar," the defense attorney quipped.
"No" I shot back."You better watch your acting."
When the laughter in the courtroom died down, I was excused from the case.
.
~~~ Because our husbands, both medical students in their final years of internship, were on call for extended periods, my friend and I were lamenting the fact that we were left alone every fourth night with our young children.
With a toddler and a newborn, Allison was especially desperate for help on occasion.
Even when her husband was home, he was so exhausted that he never heard the children’s cries at night.
But she noticed that he always heard his pager when he was called for an emergency at the hospital.
So she did the obvious: When she needed his assistance at night, she paged him.
.
~~~ Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season is Like Christmas:
10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).
9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights).
8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials".
6. Family coming to stay with you.
5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.
4. Buying food you don't normally buy...and in large quantities.
3. Days off from work.
2. Candles.
1 And...At some point you know you're going to have a tree/branches in your house.
.
~~~ I've done the calculations and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
.
~~~ "Bobbie said that her trainer at the gym advised her to wear loose clothes.
She told him, "Hey, if I had loose clothes, why would I join a gym?"
.
~~~ When her grandson, Seth, was sent to stand outside the principal's office...
His grandma asked him, after school, "But why did you have to stand outside the principal's office?"
"Well, Grandma," he replied, "when you're in trouble, they don't offer you a chair."
.
~~~ I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue."
Fathers never get a chance to use much of it.
.
~~~ A young woman was describing her date to a friend.
"After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused.
I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that."
"Then what happened?" asked her friend.
"He kept insisting and I kept refusing," the young woman responded
."He didn't weaken your resolve, did he?" the friend asked.
"Not a bit in the end, we went back to his apartment........
I figured, let his mother worry."
.
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