"special Friend"...
.
A pretty lady.......
.
Their just resting......after breakfast....
A nice pic of a king of the jungle.......
Hey....MOM, the baby's crying......feeding time.....
This little fellow looks funny in the pool........
Cute baby Panthers.....just wait for a fews months....
Me, and "Witchy" would look cool, tooling around in this auto.......
Time for me to leave...on this one!.
♥♥♥
~~~ Q: What do you call a cow spying on another cow?
A: A steak out.
.
~~~ The first-time father, beside himself with excitement over the birth of his son, was determined to do everything right.
"So, tell me, Nurse," he asked as his new family headed out the hospital door, "what time should we wake the little guy in the morning?"
.
~~~ Bobbie looked at my chest and said, "Of course."
That's when I realized I was wearing a T-shirt I had picked up at an annual biker rally.
It read; "If a man says something in the woods where no woman can hear, is he still wrong?"
.
~~~ A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the rates.
“Fifty dollars for three questions, ” replied the lawyer.
“Isn't that awfully steep?” asked the man.
“Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”
.
~~~ Probably the last completely accurate forecast was when God told Noah there was a 100 percent chance of precipitation.
.
~~~ The CEO of a large HMO dies and goes to heaven.
St. Peter shows him to a lovely villa, wonderful music, great views, full staff of servants, gourmet meals, etc.
The CEO says, "This is terrific!"
"Don't get too comfortable," says St. Peter.
"You're only approved for a three-day stay"
.
~~~ My wife received a credit card application in the mail that she had not requested.
She didn't want it, but I did.
So I crossed off my wife's name on the form, entered my own and returned the application.
I soon got a phone call from a woman saying my application had been rejected.
I asked her why, and she told me the card could only be issued to the person originally solicited by the offer.
However, she invited me to reapply, which I did during the same telephone call.
A few days later I got another call to tell me my second application had been rejected.
"Why?....... The woman told me their files showed that I had previously applied for a card and had been denied.
.
~~~ We telemarketers know we're universally loathed.
Still, some people are quite pleasant on the phone.
One day I called a number and asked to speak with Mr. Morgan.
The woman who answered explained that he no longer lived at that address, but she did have a number where he could be reached.
I thanked her, rang that number, and was greeted with, "Good morning, Highland View Cemetery."
.
~~~ One rainy evening, Pete and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car.
He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one.
There were none to be found.
Pete then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger.
After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in.
As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat.
With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have one."
.
~~~ One of my friends, a musician, is always upbeat.
Nothing gets her down.
But when she developed ringing in one ear, I was concerned it might overwhelm even her.
When I asked if her condition was especially annoying to a musician, she shook her head.
"Not really," she said cheerfully.
"The ringing sound is in the key of B flat, so I use it to tune my cello a half-tone lower."
.
~~~ After 50 years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.
"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly.
"but it didn't work out and they brought you back."
.
~~~ When I called my friend Sandy the other day, I could hear her three kids (all under the age of six) wreaking havoc in the background.
She excused herself, covered the phone with her hand for a couple of minutes, and then came back on the line.
It was absolutely silent.
I told her I was impressed!
"How did you get them to be quiet?" I asked.
"I didn't," she said in a hushed tone.
"I'm hiding in the attic."
.
.
Todays Thought: Automobiles may have welded bodies, but there are still plenty of nuts in them.
.
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A: A steak out.
.
~~~ The first-time father, beside himself with excitement over the birth of his son, was determined to do everything right.
"So, tell me, Nurse," he asked as his new family headed out the hospital door, "what time should we wake the little guy in the morning?"
.
~~~ Bobbie looked at my chest and said, "Of course."
That's when I realized I was wearing a T-shirt I had picked up at an annual biker rally.
It read; "If a man says something in the woods where no woman can hear, is he still wrong?"
.
~~~ A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the rates.
“Fifty dollars for three questions, ” replied the lawyer.
“Isn't that awfully steep?” asked the man.
“Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”
.
~~~ Probably the last completely accurate forecast was when God told Noah there was a 100 percent chance of precipitation.
.
~~~ The CEO of a large HMO dies and goes to heaven.
St. Peter shows him to a lovely villa, wonderful music, great views, full staff of servants, gourmet meals, etc.
The CEO says, "This is terrific!"
"Don't get too comfortable," says St. Peter.
"You're only approved for a three-day stay"
.
~~~ My wife received a credit card application in the mail that she had not requested.
She didn't want it, but I did.
So I crossed off my wife's name on the form, entered my own and returned the application.
I soon got a phone call from a woman saying my application had been rejected.
I asked her why, and she told me the card could only be issued to the person originally solicited by the offer.
However, she invited me to reapply, which I did during the same telephone call.
A few days later I got another call to tell me my second application had been rejected.
"Why?....... The woman told me their files showed that I had previously applied for a card and had been denied.
.
~~~ We telemarketers know we're universally loathed.
Still, some people are quite pleasant on the phone.
One day I called a number and asked to speak with Mr. Morgan.
The woman who answered explained that he no longer lived at that address, but she did have a number where he could be reached.
I thanked her, rang that number, and was greeted with, "Good morning, Highland View Cemetery."
.
~~~ One rainy evening, Pete and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car.
He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one.
There were none to be found.
Pete then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger.
After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in.
As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat.
With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have one."
.
~~~ One of my friends, a musician, is always upbeat.
Nothing gets her down.
But when she developed ringing in one ear, I was concerned it might overwhelm even her.
When I asked if her condition was especially annoying to a musician, she shook her head.
"Not really," she said cheerfully.
"The ringing sound is in the key of B flat, so I use it to tune my cello a half-tone lower."
.
~~~ After 50 years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.
"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly.
"but it didn't work out and they brought you back."
.
~~~ When I called my friend Sandy the other day, I could hear her three kids (all under the age of six) wreaking havoc in the background.
She excused herself, covered the phone with her hand for a couple of minutes, and then came back on the line.
It was absolutely silent.
I told her I was impressed!
"How did you get them to be quiet?" I asked.
"I didn't," she said in a hushed tone.
"I'm hiding in the attic."
.
.
Todays Thought: Automobiles may have welded bodies, but there are still plenty of nuts in them.
.
<><><><><><><><><><>(☺)<><><><><><><><><><>
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