Well, were going to have rain all week......
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A local picture, with out rain......
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♥♥♥
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~~~ A neighbor is talking to his friend who is cutting his grass in a three piece suit, white shirt, tie and dress shoes.
"Why are you dress like this cutting your grass?" the neighbor asked.
His friend replies, "It's a trade off.
The boss gives us 'Casual Friday' if we dress up on the weekend."
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~~~ One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my newborn daughter, chatting to her about the scenery.
When a man and his dog approached, I leaned into the baby carriage and said, "See the doggy?"
Suddenly I felt a little silly talking to my baby as if she understood me.
But just as the man passed, I noticed he reached down, patted his dog and said, "See the baby?"
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~~~ Q: "How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?"
A: "I get up early."
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~~~ A hairdressing client of mine told me of her husband's recovery after having double bypass heart surgery.
She had recounted the doctor's orders to her husband, saying, "In six weeks you'll be able to walk up two flights of stairs, lift ten kilos, and you can resume normal sexual activity.
"Her husband responded, "If I'd known about the sex, I would've had the surgery a long time ago!"
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~~~ One Monday evening a tourist visits a brothel in Paris and, on leaving, is very surprised to be handed 5,000 Euros.
The next evening he goes back and the same thing happens.
He goes back on the third night, but doesn't get a single cent.
Upset, he complains to the concierge.
The concierge says, "Why should we pay you?
We don't film on Wednesdays."
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~~~ I was preparing lunch for my granddaughter when the phone rang.
"If you can answer one question," a young man said, "you'll win ten free dance lessons."
Before I could tell him I was not interested, he continued.
"You'll be a lucky winner if you can tell me what Alexander Graham Bell invented."
"I don't know," I replied dryly, trying to discourage him."
What are you holding in your hand right now?" he asked excitedly."
A bologna sandwich.
"Congratulations!" he shrieked.
"And for having such a great sense of humor..."
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~~~ "What happened to you?" said the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed.
"I decided to take a ride on the roller coaster".
As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track.
I tried to read it but I couldn't make it out."
"I decided to go around again, but we went by so quickly I still couldn't read it.
By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time.
As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view."
"And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor.
"Yeah. It said, 'Don't stand up in the car."
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~~~ DENTIST: (On the golf course, about to putt the ball into the hole): Open wide!
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~~~ The professor of a contract law class asked, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
A student said, "Here's an orange."
"No!" the outraged professor said...... "Think like a lawyer!"
"Okay, I'd say, 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, right, claim, title, and advantages of and in, said orange, together with its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat the same or give the same away, with or without the pulp, juice, rind or seeds, herein before or hereinafter or in any deed or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding..."
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Todays Thought; Old age ain’t no place for sissies.
- Bette Davis
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