Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, everyone.....
Well I guess no pictures today, as It won't let me load them.....
I have been having problems for the last week........
.
.
♥♥♥
.
~~~ At Bubba's deli I ordered a hot chocolate and the waiter brought me a Hershey bar and a match....

.
~~~ During Gus's physical exam, his doctor mentioned that he was slightly overweight.
"Do you get any exercise?" the physician asked.
"Well, I used to have an exercise bike in the TV room," Gus began.
"Used to!" the doctor said.
"Where is it now?"
"I had to store it in the basement," Gus confessed, "because it got in the way of my snack trays."

.
~~~ Gus's recovering from major surgery.
The surgeon just separated him from his wallet.

.
~~~ "Have you heard this story?
They're trying to pass a bill now that allows politicians to insist that they be addressed by gender- neutral titles.
Is that really necessary?
I mean, don't we already have gender neutral titles for politicians?
'Crook,' 'liar,' 'adulterer,' 'pinhead,' 'moron,' these are all gender-neutral. (Jay Leno)

.
~~~ I went a little Greene country store and I see a sign reading, "Danger" Beware of dog." Then I see an old dog lying asleep on the floor.
"Is that the dog people are supposed to beware of?" says Gus to the shopkeeper.
"Yes," replies the shopkeeper.
"Before I put up the sign everyone kept falling over him."

.
~~~ I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. - Dean Martin -

.
~~~ Sue was walking by the jewelry store one day in the Fashion square mall.
She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked.
In the store she went.
“Excuse me,” she said to the sales lady behind the counter, “Will a small deposit hold that bracelet until my husband does something unforgivable?”

.
~~~ A man is playing Trivial Pursuit.
He rolls the dice and lands on Science and Nature.
The question is: If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?
The man thinks for a moment before asking, "Is the vacuum on or off?"

.
~~~ You're only young once.
After that it takes some other excuse for acting like an idiot.

.
~~~ The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side.
He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"
"A mongoose."
"What for?"
"Well, you know how drunk I can get.
When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes.
That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."
"But," the friend said, "you idiot!
Those are imaginary snakes."
"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box,
"So is the mongoose."

.
~~~ My wife thinks I'm too nosy.
At least that's what she keeps scribbling in her diary.

.
~~~ It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper.
Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.
The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed.
he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers. "Are you Mr. Johnson?" they asked?
He admitted that he was.
"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?"
Again, the man admitted that was he.
"And what did you do then," the troopers asked."
The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.
"Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired.
The man answered that it was in the garage.
"May we see the car?" asked the troopers.
The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.
Inside the garage was the state troopers car.

.
.
.
Todays thought: Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?

.
.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<☼>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>