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The newest great grand daughter...........she's a cutie...
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~~~ I was on a date with a really fat chick.
latter at her mom's place she started getting romantic.
she sensed that I wasnt too into it.
so she asked me what she could do to get me more involved.
I told her that I just wasnt feeling it.
she said "would it help if I put a bag on my head?"
I said it might,..... paper or plastic.....
I'm still in recovory but the doctors expect I may be able to walk again someday ....
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~~~ Please excuse my pet cricket ........He suffers from restless leg syndrome...
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~~~ If people weren't meant to have midnight snack, why do they put a light in refrigerators?
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~~~ Do not mind criticism.
If it is untrue disregard it.
If it is unfair, don't become irritated.
If it is ignorant, just smile.
If it is justified, learn from it.
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~~~ The church wanted to help their congregation cope better with the stresses of modern life, and decided to offer a course in Time Management.Soon after the course was announced, a member telephoned the Pastor.
"What time does the course start, Pastor?
"The Pastor replied, "Oh... six-ish, seven-ish...."
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~~~ Gus: Why are you putting two quarters under your pillow?
Pete: Those are my sleeping quarters.
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~~~ SHERIFF: There's a man in the circus who jumps on a horse's back, slips underneath, catches hold of his tail, and finishes on the horse's neck.
TENDERFOOT: That's nothing.....
I did all those things the first time I rode a horse.
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~~~ A medical journal submits the following advice for the benefit of a Lady who wishes to cure her husband of the habit of snoring: "Raise yourself softly on your elbow and gentle but firmly bite his nose" (Might be effective.)
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~~~ True greatness lies not in never stealing, but in getting away with it.
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Todays Thought; Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
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♥♥♥
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~~~ What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States?
We wouldn't have to pay her as much.
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~~~ Did you hear about the idiot terrorist who tried to blow up a school bus?
He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.
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We wouldn't have to pay her as much.
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~~~ Did you hear about the idiot terrorist who tried to blow up a school bus?
He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.
.
~~~ I was on a date with a really fat chick.
latter at her mom's place she started getting romantic.
she sensed that I wasnt too into it.
so she asked me what she could do to get me more involved.
I told her that I just wasnt feeling it.
she said "would it help if I put a bag on my head?"
I said it might,..... paper or plastic.....
I'm still in recovory but the doctors expect I may be able to walk again someday ....
.
~~~ Please excuse my pet cricket ........He suffers from restless leg syndrome...
.
~~~ If people weren't meant to have midnight snack, why do they put a light in refrigerators?
.
~~~ Do not mind criticism.
If it is untrue disregard it.
If it is unfair, don't become irritated.
If it is ignorant, just smile.
If it is justified, learn from it.
.
~~~ The church wanted to help their congregation cope better with the stresses of modern life, and decided to offer a course in Time Management.Soon after the course was announced, a member telephoned the Pastor.
"What time does the course start, Pastor?
"The Pastor replied, "Oh... six-ish, seven-ish...."
.
~~~ Gus: Why are you putting two quarters under your pillow?
Pete: Those are my sleeping quarters.
.
~~~ SHERIFF: There's a man in the circus who jumps on a horse's back, slips underneath, catches hold of his tail, and finishes on the horse's neck.
TENDERFOOT: That's nothing.....
I did all those things the first time I rode a horse.
.
~~~ A medical journal submits the following advice for the benefit of a Lady who wishes to cure her husband of the habit of snoring: "Raise yourself softly on your elbow and gentle but firmly bite his nose" (Might be effective.)
.
~~~ True greatness lies not in never stealing, but in getting away with it.
.
Todays Thought; Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<☼>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
1 comment:
Gus I thought I was losing it untill I looked at the dates your blog is skipping back to April!! LOL
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