Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.....Enjoy the warm weather......
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Don't wake MAMA up..........
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Toungue Come.................................................

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Want to buy a cave house?.........................................

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It's for Sale on E-bay..........

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Watch it....buster!

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3 point landing?...........................................

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♥♥♥

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~~~ "There are hundreds of ways of making money, but only one honest way."

"What's that?"

"Aha! I knew you wouldn't know." (must be a politician....)

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~~~"Don't worry, I can stay out late tonight," Pete told his friend Gus.

"My wife's gone for a two-week vacation in the Caribbean."
"Jamaica?" Gus asked.
"No, it was her idea."

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~~~ Sign found in a psychiatrist's office: "The amnesia patients must pay in advance."

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~~~ A man was asked the gas mileage he got on his new car.

He said he thought he got about four miles to the gallon, while his teenage son got the other thirty.

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~~~ A guy is walking up to the doctor's office when a nun comes running out screaming and crying.
The guy walks in and says, "Doc, what's with the nun?"

The doctor says, "Oh, I just told her she's pregnant."
The guy says, "The nun's pregnant?"

The doctor says, "No. But it certainly cured her hiccups."

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~~~ My six-year-old son, Benjamin, jumping off the diving board that first time seemed an insurmountable challenge.

He was too timid to manage it that day.

On the drive home I tried to bolster his courage with a personal confession.

"When I was a little boy," I began, "there was a huge slide in the park beside my house.

The first time I tried it, I was so scared that my father had to rescue me from the top.

But the next time, I slid down, and each time after that, I had more and more fun.

Do you know what I'm saying?" Benjamin nodded with enthusiasm.
At his next lesson, Benjamin approached the board with a new confidence.

He strode purposefully to the end, then stopped.

He tried again, and again pulled up short.

Finally he turned and made a beeline for where I was standing.

"Dad," he asked urgently, "do you know any other stories that might work?"

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~~~ An American tourist was visiting a small village in Ireland when there was a sudden gust of wind which blew his hat off into the middle of a nearby pond.

Walking over to the village idiot, who was sitting beside the pond, the tourist asked "Say, son, how deep is this pond?"

"Oh, only a few inches," replied the idiot.

After taking his shoes off and rolling his trousers up over his knees, the tourist stepped into the pond to retrieve his hat and, within a few seconds, was completely submerged in the water. Swimming out to the middle of the pond he finally reached his hat, and then struggled back to edge.

Climbing out, he turned to the village idiot and screamed, "Hey you, I thought you said that pond was only a few inches deep!"

"Well," shrugged the idiot, "the water only comes half way up that duck over there."

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.Todays thought: Polynesia: memory loss in parrots.

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