"Witchy loves kittens, so I posted this one for her......
I want out..........
Kit Kat break??
Oh..My...♥♥♥
A question:
Q. What's silent and smells like worms????
A. Bird Pharts.
A. Bird Pharts.
~~~
Physicians recommend walking as a means of keeping fit, so why are doctors' parking spaces always the closest to the hospital?
~~~
It's getting more and more impossible to support the government in the style to which it has become accustomed.
~~~
Pete goes into the store to do some shopping.
He is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.
"Pardon me, sir," he says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"
"Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's kiss.
It's $1.50 per roll."
He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll."
Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells him, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll."
"Give me the No Name," Pete says.
Pete comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper.
I call it John Wayne."
"Why?" he asks.
"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!"
~~~
A judge went to her dentist complaining of a sore tooth.
The dentist said, "It will have to come out," the dentist tried to relax her with a joke.
He told her, "I promise to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth!"
~~~
For Christmas we were visited by a jolly fellow with a big bag over his shoulder. No, it wasn't Santa... it was our son coming home from college with his laundry.
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gus..
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