Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning...friends and pardners in the crime of jokes....

11ºf degrees this morning.........gonna be 21ºf all day.....

Close the door....Carol.....

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Yea...I'm hungry.........you look pretty tasty..................................

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I'm hungry too...........got any fish ??..

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Too...small.....

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Hey....I got my fish...and you an't getting it........
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I got a fish too........an't he cool......?

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Mmm...fresh veggies........

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♥♥♥

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Jet planes have made it possible to get to your destination twice as fast to find out that the weather is too bad for you to land.

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~~~ An exhausted looking man dragged himself in to his Doctor's office.

"Doctor Hey, there are dogs all over my neighborhood.

They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you Pete," Doctor Hey said, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.
"Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream.

A few of these and your trouble will be over."

"Great," said Pete, "I'll try anything.

Let's give it a shot."
A few weeks later Pete, looking worse than ever.

"Doc, your plan is no good.

I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand how that could be", said Dr. Hey, shaking his head.

"Those are the strongest pills on the market!"
"That may be true," answered Pete wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

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~~~ "So," Jane asked the detective she had hired.

"Did you trail my husband?"

"Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out- of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment."

A big smile crossed Jane's face.

"Aha! I've got him!" she said gloating, "Is there any doubt what he was doing?"

"No ma'am." replied the sleuth, "It's pretty clear that he was following you."

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~~~ Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk.

Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy.

After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave."
Tim then turned to his new friend and announced that he had to leave because his father was calling.

Astonished, the wide-eyed little boy cried, "You're a kid?"

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~~~ There's no place like home if you don't have the money to go out.

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~~~ Rae was playing Trivial Pursuit one night..

It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?
'She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

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A thought: Blessed are those who have nothing to say....and don't....