Good Morning....Everybody....Even everybody in Fla.................
Damn, Dude...pull your pants up...It's not cool lookin ............
That's more funny lookin then a wheelbarrow full of monkeys.
Wrong lane....That's gonna cost someone..................................
Scard me.......
Scared you?.....I liked to had a heart attack....
Took my bike and road home.....
Working at IHOP, I recently learned why not to take money until the order has been filled.
One day a customer handed me a $20 bill to pay for her order, then changed her mind and added a doughnut.
I grabbed the extra doughnut but lost track of her money.
Later, on a hunch, I checked the video surveillance tape.
Sure enough, there I was wrapping the $20 bill around the doughnut like a napkin and passing it to the customer.
~~~My marriage is at the point where I put on a Michael Bolton CD and pour her some wine... just so she'll have something to do while I watch the game.
~~~The autumn leaves are a lot like raising kids.
First they turn on you, and then they fly away.
And next thing you know, you look out the window and they're back!
In our small town we decided, with the advent of recycling trash, that there would have to be tighter controls over the sorting of garbage.
Therefore, a permanent employee was hired by the township to ensure that this happened.
However, a number of people were upset because the dump was now locked after hours.
"Isn't it ironic," the mayor reflected, "in our little town, people don't lock their cars, they don't lock their homes, and yet we lock our garbage dump!"
~~~More and more baseball stadiums are bringing back natural grass.
They have to. All that tobacco juice is killing the Astroturf.
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