That'll keep the sun outta your eyes............
He'll never miss it..............
See....I can jump........What else you want me to do?..
Closer...closer...just a wee bit closer.............
♣
Larry Flynt announced he’s making a porn movie with a Sarah Palin look-alike.
John McCain called the idea offensive;
Barack Obama called it inappropriate,
and Bill Clinton said he’ll reserve judgment until he sees the film.
♣
~~The big question is, With Sarah Palin yammering it up with Joe Biden in Saint Louis, who’s keeping an eye on the Russians?
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Two old women were sitting on the park bench talking, when one asked the other, "How's your husband holding up in bed these days?"
second old lady replied, "He makes me feel like an exercise bike."
"How's that
He climbs on and starts pumping away but we never get anywhere!"
♣
You can't wrap love in a box, but you can wrap a person in a hug.
♣
When I arrived at my mother's apartment complex, I was greeted by the disconcerting sight of a fire truck parked outside.
There was no sign of smoke, and the firefighters didn't seem worried. Still, I asked one, "Is it safe to go inside?
I'm a little wary of entering a building when the fire trucks' lights are on."
"Don't worry about it," he said.
"We do it all the time."
♣
We took our children to a restaurant named the Captain's Table.
Our youngest went to the bathroom but soon returned, confused and embarrassed.
"Could't you find the way?" I asked him.
"Oh I found it," he replied, legs crossed.
"But I don't know if I'm a buccaneer or a wench."
♣
One morning, as I went to the freezer door, I asked my wife, "What should I take out for dinner?"
Without a moment's hesitation, she replied, 'Me'
♣
Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because grandpas have only so many horsey rides in them.
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