Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.....friends...............................................................
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Well, blow me over,..damn dog scared me half to death............

We like to get after people.....we're just all bark...........................

Duck ! You scared him................................................................

Don't worry...Mom will take care of him......................................

Oh....I'm not worried......Ize sleepy...................................................................

I'm just hanging around, watching these fools............................

I can't hear you....naw..nee..naw.. naw !.......................................

Bobbie said:I am full-figured, and when I dine in restaurants.

I often find the chairs too small and uncomfortable.

The last time I ate out, I filled in a comment card, saying that while the food and service were wonderful, the chairs did not accommodate anyone over a size 14.

Several weeks later I received a note of apology and a coupon for a free dessert.

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Dear Rabbi I hope it’s OK if I have to remain anonymous but this is no joke.

I am one of those blokes who really suffer from an interfering mother-in-law.

She has an opinion on everything and sticks it in even when not asked for it.

My wife is very close to her and invites her round all the time which only puts a real strain between us.

Is there anything I can do?

Help! [Anonymous]
And here is the Rabbi’s reply: -

Dear AnonMake it look like an accident...

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The handsome father, in suit and a crisp white shirt that contrasted spectacularly with his deep tan, gave a speech at his daughters wedding reception.

He summed up by advising her new husband and I that when we quarrelled, whoever was in the wrong should go straight out to the garden and stay there until he or she cooled down.

After a pause, he added, "Well, I guess my tan speaks for itself, doesn’t it?"

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New Yorkers are a breed apart.

A man was mugged but had no cash.

Afraid he‘d be hurt, he offered to write the guy a check.

The thief said dumbfounded, a check?

Why would I take a check from you? I don ‘t even know you.

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My flight was delayed .

Since the gate was needed for another flight, our aircraft was backed away from the terminal, and we were directed to a new gate.

We all found the new gate, only to discover a third gate had been designated for our plane.

Finally, everyone got on board the right plane and the flight attendant announced: "We apologize for the gate change.

This flight is going to New york.

If your destination is not New York, you should deplane at this time."

A moment later a red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags.

"Sorry," he said, "wrong plane."

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It's a mistake to believe that government can give things to some people without first taking it away from others.

Notice....For some nice sunrise pictures check out our pictures at:.............

http://www.flickr.com/photos/aahey/