Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.....How's every body this fine morning ?..............
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Don't wake the baby.....................................................................

Went wif Mom to the park...........................................................

Taxi!...Taxi !...Anybody want to share a cab ?............................

You could always ride in this limo !..........................................

No thanks, we're bike riders, thank you !..................................

Not me, I jump them...................................................................

Mom, just gives us a ride, thank you!...........................................

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A band performing at an outdoor concert kept playing although the crowd had dwindled down to one man.

Finally, the tired musicians told the man that if he left, they could all go home.

"It's up to you," he answered.

"I'm just waiting to put away all those folding chairs."

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Searching through Arty's Rolodex for the number of the IRS proved enlightening.

After having no success looking under "I," I flipped through every letter until I eventually found the listing under "E," as in "Eternal Revenue Service."

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"The difference between school and life?

In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.

In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson."

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"Ow!!!" I yelled. My hand had been struck with a piece of wood from a two-by-four.

"I got a splinter under my fingernail," I called to my wife in the next room.

Ever the wise guy, she yelled back, "What were you doing, scratching your head?"

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A sign by the elevators in the building where I volunteer reads "In case of fire, use stairs."

It dawned on me that I didn't know where the stairs were.

If I didn't, neither would visitors.

"We should post directions to the staircase near the sign," I suggested to the security chief.

"We'd rather people not use the stairs," he said.....

"For safety reasons."

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My veterinarian gave me instructions for my cat, Friday, who was scheduled for surgery.

"Don't give Friday any food after eight on Wednesday.

Bring Friday in early Thursday morning.

You can pick him up Thursday evening but if you want, Friday can stay until Friday

A little honey is good for your health unless your wife finds out..................