Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....Had a good Labor Day weekend ?....................
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4 years old and got her face panted..WOW ! You know she had a great time.

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I's like the ice cream....Hummmmmmmmm..............................

Me...I like the sweet stuff............................................................

Me too!... I gotta get ready to visit Mexico..................................

I can't make up my mind !...........................................................

We're Friends.......but I don't know about her breath, smells fishy.

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A visitor to Washington, D.C. in the spring remarked to her tour guide, "The cherry blossoms are absolutely lovely, but is it always this windy?"

"Madam," said the guide, "you must remember that this is the nation's capital.

Where the government meets it is always windy."

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Sadly, in the nightclub world, bald singers don't fare well, hence my reason for buying a hairpiece.

When I asked my accountant if I could write off the toupee as an expense, he hesitated.

Then he changed his mind. "All right," he said finally.

"I'll put it down as an overhead."

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I overheard my son telling our other son about a fishing game he downloaded off the Internet:

"I played it for only a few minutes and caught two!

But you should have seen the one that got away," he continued enthusiastically.

"It was at least two megabytes!"

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On the way back from a Cub Scouts meeting, my grandson asked my son the question.

"Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?" he asked innocently.

After my son hemmed and hawed for a while, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust.

"You don't have to make something up, Dad.

It's ok if you don't know the answer."

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My friend John and I, determined to see the world, signed on to a Norwegian freighter as deckhands.

We were being trained as helmsmen, and John's first lesson was given by the mate, a seasoned but gentle white-haired seafarer.

John was holding the heading he'd been given, when the mate ordered, "Come starboard."

Pleased at knowing which way starboard was,John left the helm and walked over to his instructor.

As the helm swung freely, the mate politely asked, "Could you bring the ship with you?"

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The auto auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity.

Vehicles were classified as either "Running" or "No Start."

On the block was a No Starter.

It had a shattered windshield, two missing tires, a sagging front bumper, a cockeyed grille, a hood that was sprung up at an angle, and dings and dents all over the body.

Before he started the bidding, the auctioneer announced the car's year, make and model, and then read the owner's comments: "Please note...the radio does not work."

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It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.