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Milo, Is that you ? Wake up........................................................
Yea....Them birds will get ya............................................................
Not me....I'm a pretty bird............................................................
I'm prettier..........and a fisher man.............................................
Got ya both beat.....prettier and a pet.......................................
Gotta have a "Maxine" for "Bobbie"............................................
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After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs.
The woman representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision.
I also asked for a special meal and assistance in changing planes.
My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me everything would be taken care of.
I thanked her profusely.
"Why, you're welcome," she replied.
I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother be needing a rental car?"
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During my physical fitness class, I had everyone lie on their backs with their legs up as if pedaling a bike.
After several minutes, one man suddenly stopped.
"Why did you stop pedaling?" I shouted.
"I didn't stop," he said, wheezing. "I'm coasting."
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Even at age 69, my girl friend was vain about her looks.
At a reunion , an old friend exclaimed, "Bobbie, you haven't changed in 20 years."
"Oh!" said Bobbie, horrified."
"I hope I didn't look like this 20 years ago."
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We were camping in a beautiful national park.
One morning, I was in the washroom shaving when the man next to me asked what I did for a living.
"I'm a juvenile-rehabilitation counsellor," I replied.
After a slight pause, he responded, "Yep, I'm a parent, too."
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A woman in the neighborhood was giving away free kittens.
I picked out a cute black and white one.
"I call him Prince," she told me.
That's a dumb name for a cat, I thought.
When I got him home, I immediately changed it to "The Kitten Formerly Known as Prince."
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I was sitting behind an enthusiastic mom at my son's Little League game.
Her boy was pitching for the opposing team and she cheered as he threw one wild pitch after another.
The poor kid walked every batter.
It was only the first inning and the score was 14-0.
Then one batter finally smacked the ball.
"Oh no," the mom wailed....... "There goes his no-hitter."
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The heart is about the only broken instrument that will work.
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