Sat. Jan 26th.~~~

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I'm convinced that in a past life I was somebody named Occupant,
and they're still forwarding my mail.

Women believe in love at first sight; men believe in it at firstopportunity.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man.
Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

I hate talking cars. A voice out of nowhere says things like, "Your door is ajar.
Why don't they say something really useful, like
'There's a state trooper hiding behind that bush.'"

Marriage is the union of two individuals, one who never remembers birthdays
and the other who never forgets them.