Tuesday, December 30, 2014




Be at war with your vices, at peace with your 
neighbors, and let every new year find you a 
better man. 
--Benjamin Franklin-- 

Only 2 more days until millions of people join 
the gym for a week..

Can't wait to say "I haven't seen you since last 
year!" to everyone I see next week. 
I'm a very popular person with thousands of 

I made the mistake of watching a single zit 
popping video on youtube and now my 
recommendations screen is trying to make me 

Croquettes are not female crocodiles.........

yo mama so fat... 
She got more chins than a Chinese phone book...

My doctor said I shouldn't binge drink, 
so now I just drink all the time. 

The year is 2075.
A student asks how World War 3 began.
The teacher responds with "Well, James Franco 
and Seth Rogen made a movie..."  

If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops 
you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents. 

You look so perfect standing there, 
In my American Apparel underwear, 
But I know now you probably opened the wrong 
Christmas present grandma.....

yo mama sooo ugly... 
When she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.