Well we are going to have a great week, weather wise...
My little dwarf plum tree is blooming....
can't wait for the plums...
Kermit is evil....a green evil......
Damn, must be nap time....
Be careful little one, you might end up in the washer....
Lambs going home....nap time??
No, I didn't.....
Pete...you working on your house again??
~~ While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer
asked my coworker Phil to help her pick out a tie that would make her
husband's blue eyes stand out.
"Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie
it tight enough.
~~ I don't get these people who, instead of buying a four or an
eight-pack of toilet paper, buy the single, individual roll.
Are they trying to quit?
( Pete buys corn cobs by the gunny sack )
~~ Phil was sitting on his porch, when this fella walked up
with a pad and pencil in his hand.
"What can I do for you?" Phil politely asked......
"You selling something?"
"No, sir, I'm not........ I'm a Census Taker."
"A Census Taker...... We're trying to find out how many people
are in the United States."
"You're wasting your time here....... I have no idea."
~~ Pete is allergic to cotton.
He has pills that he can take, but he can't get them out of the bottle.
~~ A gnome is in the garden busily destroying some bushes when a
house cat appears. "What are you?" asks the cat.
"A gnome," comes the reply.
"I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, I make annoying music at
night to drive them crazy, and I love mischief.
And what, may I ask, are you?"
The cat replies, "Um, I'm a gnome."
~~ Gus goes to the doctor for a check up.
The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..."
Gus says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?"
"You have Alzheimer's disease."
"Good heavens! What's the good news?"
"You can go home and forget about it...
~~ Frances and her friend Rachel were having a chat about their sons.
"So Rachel," ask Frances, "I hear that your Paul has just been made a
director of his company.
Is he a good businessman then?"
"Is he a good businessman?" replies Rachel.
He's a brilliant businessman Frances.
In fact my Paul is so dedicated to his company that every night he takes
his secretary to bed with him just in case he comes up with a brilliant idea."
~~ There is only one thing that costs more than education today,
the lack of it.
~~ I was attending a benefit, and before the show began,
I walked up to a man wearing fatigues.
"I just want to thank you for your service to our country," I told him.
He looked thoroughly confused, but I walked away knowing I'd done
the right thing.
Later, when my soldier took the stage along with a police officer,
a construction worker, and a Native American, it dawned on me why
he'd had a puzzled expression—
I had thanked a member of the Village People.
~~ What do you call... a mushroom that sits at the end of the bar and
buys everybody drinks??
Todays thought: Those who cause dissensions in order to injure other people are
preparing pitfalls for their own ruin.
Another messed up post....come on Google fix the left alignment please....