A little chilly here...but the suns out.....
Supposed to get warmer now....
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Reminds me.....gotta get dressed and go for some Breakfast....
The biscuits and sausage gravy is calling me.
Eat your heart out "Pete"......
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We can have beer later.....
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I take it he don't like beer.....
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This one wants fish for breakfast!
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Or maybe Lobster??
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This kitty thinks it funny seeing a furry Lobster.....
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Hey! Bubba....We all want Change......
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Yep! this Blog is great.....
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You can laugh any time....
(oh, I loved this show..)
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♥♥♥
☺ ~~ A customer brought her car into our Saturn dealership complaining
of rattling noises. Later, the technician said the problem was no big deal.
"Just a case of CTIP: Customer Thinks It's a Porsche."
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~~ A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer
went to a lawyer seeking defense.
He didn’t want to go to jail.
But his lawyer told him, "Don’t worry.
You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.”
And the lawyer was right.
When the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.
☺
~~ Playing Doctor
The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to
play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the
insurance company."
☺
~~ Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly?
Did you steal the car?"
Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning,
I’m beginning to think I didn’t"
☺
~~ She was the nurse caring for a couple's newborn first child, a son,
after his cesarean birth.
Since the mother was asleep under general anesthesia we took our
tiny charge directly to the newborn nursery to introduce him to his daddy.
While cuddling his son for the first time, he noticed the baby's ears
conspicuously standing out from his head.
He expressed his concern that some kids might call his son names like
"Dumbo."
The pediatrician reassured the new dad that his son was healthy,
the ears could be easily corrected during childhood.
The father still worried about his wife's reaction to those large protruding
ears.
"She doesn't take things as easily as I do," he worried.
By this time, the new mother was ready to meet her precious son.
I placed the tiny bundle in his mother's arms and eased the blanket back
so that she could gaze upon her child for the first time.
She took one look at her baby's face and looked to her husband and
gasped, "Oh Honey! Look! He has your ears!"
☺
~~ Those who try to take the elevator to achieve success will likely
find that they never land on the right floor.
Success comes by climbing the stairs.
☺
~~ Three women are having lunch, discussing their husbands.
The first says, "My husband is cheating on me, I just know it.
I found a pair of stockings in his jacket pocket, and they weren't mine!"
The second says, "My husband is cheating on me, I just know it.
I found a condom in his wallet, so I poked it full of holes with my
sewing needle!"
The third woman fainted.
☺
~~ A man came down with the flu and was forced to stay home one day.
He was glad for the sudden illness because it taught him how much his
wife loved him.
She was so thrilled to have him around that when a delivery man or the
mailman arrived, she ran out and yelled,
"My husband's home! My husband's home!"
☺
~~ One night a woman found her husband standing over their newborn
baby's crib.
Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping
infant, she saw on his face a mixture of feelings: disbelief, doubt, delight,
amazement, enchantment, skepticism.
Touched by his rare display of deep emotion, she felt her eyes grow
moist.
She slipped her arms around her husband.
"A penny for your thoughts," she whispered tenderly in his ear.
"It's amazing," he replied.
"A miracle almost.
I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like this for only $49.95!"
☺
~~ I took a real estate client to a handyman special.
The place was great, and we couldn't understand why it was so cheap,
until we turned on the water main and water gushed from the ceiling.
Dripping wet, my client put a positive spin on the showing:
"Nice house," he said......... "It's even self-cleaning."
☺
~~ The old man died while he was making love with his old wife.
They made love every Sunday morning to the rhythm of the church bells,
nice and slow, and then that ice cream truck came along.
☺
~~ You can run an office without a boss, but you can't run an office
without the secretaries.
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~~ A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of
only true/false questions.
The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes,
removed a coin from his pocket and started tossing the coin and
marking the answer sheet.
Heads meant true, tails meant false.
The young student finished the exam in 30 minutes,
while the rest of the class was sweating it out.
Suddenly, during the last few minutes, the young student began
desperately throwing the coin and sweating profusely.
The moderator, alarmed, approached the student and asked what was
going on.
"Well, I finished the exam in half an hour," said the student,
"but I thought I ought to recheck my answers."
☺
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Todays Thought: Golf is a lot like taxes — you drive hard to get to the green and then
wind up in the hole.
1 comment:
Yeah, RUB IT IN...Sausage gravy...I had TENDERLOIN and EGGS..
Rough being poor.....he he he
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