now.... Pete...waiting to see you at the forum....
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No cookies for the dog....Alpo..
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Give me back my fish.....
Yep...spring has sprung....
As you can tell, I like Eno....He's tha Man....
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♥♥♥
~~ A girl went to a large museum with her father.
~~ A girl went to a large museum with her father.
They entered a gallery filled with a multitude of modern works in
display cases.
A sign on the wall read, "Art Objects." Turning to her father,
the girl asked him, "If Art objects, why is he letting them show his things?"
☺
~~ Man walks into the Doctors office.
“I have the results of your test and I’m afraid you’re going to die”
Says the Doctor.
The Man asks “How long do I have to live?”
“Ten...”, replies the Doctor.
“What the heck does that mean”, the Man asks.
“Ten Years, Ten Months, Ten weeks. What?”
The Doctor Replies “Nine....”
☺
~~ An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a
stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will.
"Your estate is very complex," said the lawyer, "but I’ve made sure
that all of your wishes will be executed.
Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500."
Just then, the phone rang and the lawyer got involved with a long call.
Thinking the lawyer had said "$500," the old man wrote out his check
and left.
When she got off the phone and realized the old man’s mistake,
the lawyer ran after him down the stairs and into the parking lot just as
he drove away.
Feeling frustrated, the lawyer looked at the check and decided to
accept the situation philosophically.
"Oh well," she said to herself, "$500 for half an hour’s work isn’t bad."
☺
~~ My ten-year-old son was poking around in the kitchen,
looking for something to eat, when he decided to have a snack of
tortilla chips and salsa.
In the pantry, he found the only salsa we had, which was labelled
medium-hot.
He managed to eat just a few chips before having to gulp down a
large glass of water.
"Mom," he asked me as his mouth was cooling off,
"Do they make beginner's salsa?"
☺
~~ During the credit crunch, a guy went to an ATM and it said
"insufficient funds".
He wondered: "Is it them or me?"
☺
~~ The sixth-grade summer band class was just getting under way
when a large insect flew into the room.
The students, eager to play their shiny new instruments, tried to
ignore the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student could stand it
no more.
He rolled up his music book and swatted the insect, and then he
stomped on it to ensure its fate.
"Is it a bee?" another student asked.
"Nope," he replied. "It's a bee flat."
☺
~~ Republican John McCain, shocked a recent campaign audience,
by exclaiming, he was "Independent".
What he actually said was, he was "in Depends". (Jimmy Kimmel)
☺
~~ The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman couldn't
keep his eyes off of her.
Every time she came in the room, he'd near about jerk his neck right
out of joint looking at her.
When he'd finished she paid him and said, "I'm going to make a . . .
well . . . unusual request.
But you have to first promise me you'll keep it a secret."
The repairman quickly agreed and she went on.
"Well, it's kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is
a kind, decent man, 'sigh', he has a certain physical weakness.
A certain disability.
Now, I'm a woman and you're a man . . . "
The repairman could hardly speak, "Yes...yes!"
"And since I've been wanting to ever since you came in the door..."
"Yes... yes!"
"Would you help me move the refrigerator?"
☺
~~ About twenty years ago I went to the Grand Canyon with my folks,
while we were there I saw an Indian with a sign that read
"Indian Never Forgets."
Intrigued, I went up to him and asked:
"So you remember everything?"
"Yes."
"So what did you have for breakfast five years ago?"
"Eggs."
"What did you have for breakfast ten years ago?"
"Eggs."
Thinking it was a bunch of crap, I left and forgot about him...
Until this year I took my kids to the Grand Canyon, and saw the same
Indian standing there with the same sign.
I thought I'd be nice to him so I walk up to him and raise my right hand:
"How?"
"Scrambled."
☺
~~ As an obstetrician, I sometimes see unusual tattoos when working
in labor and delivery.
One patient had some type of fish tattoo on her abdomen.
"That sure is a pretty whale," I commented.
With a smile she replied, "It used to be a dolphin."
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Todays Thought: There are three things around the house that the wise man leaves alone,
the electricity, the plumbing, and the children's new math.
One hour and 20 min. Blogspot keeps messing up..
see the errors?
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)¤(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)
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