I was in a church meeting where the topic was "Burial or Cremation?".
Two of the people got rather worked up. .
One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!".
The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones..
So if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!".
A young couple was touring southern Florida on their honeymoon and stopped at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.
After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.
"Wow!" exclaimed the new bride.
"You certainly have a dangerous job. Do you ever get bitten?" .
"Yes, upon rare occasions," answered the handler.
"Well," she continued, "just what do you do when you're bitten by a snake?".
"I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound." .
"What, uh... what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a rattler?" persisted the woman.
"Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn who my real friends are."