Good Morning..... Well we're having a nice day.....But
The rivers are flooding from the rain from yesterday....
Snow possible Friday.....
~~ Hey, Have a great AUSTRALIA DAY....Mates...

Sunrise at Hummingbird Lane, this morning.....

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G'day, mate! go easy on the barbe and the tinnies...Onya!

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Back off...Mate, it's mine......

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It's gonna swallow you......

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Now thats a fat frog..frog legs anyone?

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Think it's cold where you are?

Welcome to Siberia.
"One of cozy streets.
The temperature outdoors is -42C (-44F)."
(Didn't sound right to me either, but it is.)
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Hey, BUBBA....you dropped something....

Sometimes it’s hard to keep things together.

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I don't know about this bike.... I don't think I wanna ride it....

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This cat with the hat, reminds me of "Red"...(Clem..)

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Cool picture.....

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♥♥♥

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~~ Why is it that at breakfast, people eat bacon with their

fingers.. but if they order ham or sausage, they'll use their fork...?
Second question:
How much bacon is too much?

Answer; what's a fork???
As to how much is too much bacon..........
If you have to open a 2nd package you're getting close.
If you start squealing like a pig you know you're there.

☺
~~ A few days ago, Prime Minister Mori from India was given
some Basic English conversation training before he visits
Washington and meets president Barack Obama...
The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand
with President Obama, please say "how r u".
Then Mr. Obama should say,"I am fine, and you?"
Now, you should say"me too".
Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you."
It looks quite simple, but the truth is...
When Mori met Obama , he mistakenly said "who r u?"
(Instead of "How r u?"..)
Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with
humor: "Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha...
"Then Mori replied "me too, ha-ha.. ."
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room....

☺
~~ I parked my pickup at the supermarket and was walking
past an empty cart when I heard a woman ask,
"Excuse me, did you want that cart?"
"No," I answered....... "I'm only after one thing."
As I walked toward the store, I heard her murmur,
"Typical male."

☺
~~ A man went for an audition at a local club.
"You' better not be a hypnotist, they're not welcome here."
"No I'm not, I'm a singer, why, what's wrong with a hypnotist?"
"Well we had one a couple days ago with 10 people on stage
in a trance when he tripped over the microphone wire and
shouted 'Shit'....... We've been clearing up ever since."

☺
~~ Our two boys received as a gift a Kreepy Krauly oven,
a small oven used to bake plastic bugs.
The boys prepared the first tray of bugs and slid it into the oven
to bake.
The younger one, Roy asked his older brother Arty,
if he could look through the clear plastic window at the top of
the oven to watch the baking in progress.
"No," Arty replied, "you don't have the right kind of eyes.
It says right here that you need adult supervision."

☺
~~ Some enlisted men were having trouble getting past the
guard at the train station.
He said that he couldn't allow anyone through without a ticket.
Anyone!
An officer came along.
The guard explained, "Look, I like GIs.
I mean they're protecting us, but I have orders.
They're trying to get on without a ticket."
The officer said, "Let me take care of this."
Turning to the men, he barked, "Attention! Now forward march!"
Smartly past a stunned guard, the men marched through the
gate and onto the train.
Once aboard, they relaxed and patted the officer on the back,
saying, "You're terrific, sir.
You're a great guy."
The officer said, "That's all right.
I didn't have a ticket either!"

☺
~~ A famous French singing star, in the United States to make
a movie, was accosted by several dowager types.
He answered their questions nicely, ending each response with
a smile and a "Mademoiselle" or "Madame."
One dowager finally asked.
"What is the difference between Madame and Mademoiselle!"
The French singing star said, "Monsieur!"
When the ladies went to work trying to figure out his response,
he got away.

☺
~~ I was visiting my sister, Anne in New York, and I couldn't help
but notice a huge wall in her living room that was filled with
professionally taken pictures of her and her family.
My cousin, Peter, walked in and with his back to the wall full
of pictures, spotted a picture on the mantel piece taken of my
sister in the woods.
"I love pictures taken naturally like that."
Peter said. "I just hate it when people have professional pictures
taken."
"Turn around," Anne said.

☺
~~ A passenger train is creeping along, slowly.
Finally it creaks to a halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened?
Did we catch up with the cow again?"

☺
~~ I was watching the aerobic championships on TV with my
daughter- in-law.
A smiling blonde young thing was performing. Sleek, solid, with
not an extra ounce on her toned body, she was bouncing and
darting about, her rapid arm and leg movements in sync with
the music.
Glancing down at my added poundage and expanded middle,
I lamented to Kimberly, "Would you believe that at one time I
looked like that?"
You were blonde?" she asked.
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Today Thought:  Expecting the world to treat us fairly because we are ethical is

a little like expecting a bull to not attack us because we are vegetarians...

Good Morning.....A terrible stormy night....
Weird weather here.....
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Wedding cake??  I don't know...

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I'm glad I didn't have to lay this floor down....WoW!

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A cat on a cat....pretty cool....

♥

They wanna go out a play.....

♥

Ohhh...your a bad cat....we'll call you stinky....

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Oh...no,.. Bobbie take care of my light work....

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Kiss the fat frog, maybe he'll love you....

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This guy is laffen at you all....

♥

Need some one to scrach your back??

Not me!!

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Another laffing cat,  whats with these cats??

♥

Well time to deliver this oven....see you later...

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♥♥♥

~~ Bobbie will love this one......

A nice old gent in Miami Beach met a woman only a year or
two younger than he.
They became fast friends.
Every night they'd go up to her apartment, have tea and cookies,
and engage in pleasant chatter.
One day the old gent ran into a friend who asked,
"Why don't you marry the lady?"
The old gent said, "Then where would I spend my evenings?"

☺
~~ As everyone sat around the table for a big family dinner,
the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an
army recruitment office.
There were audible gasps from the gathering,
followed by laughter as his older brothers expressed their
disbelief that he could handle army life.
"Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one.
"You haven't really signed up, have you?"
"You'd never get through basic training," scoffed another.
Finally his father spoke up.
"It's going to take a lot of discipline.... Are you ready for that?"
Coming under fire from all sides, the new recruit looked to his
mother for help.
But she said simply: Are you really going to make your own bed
every morning?"

☺
~~ Middle age is that time of life when you finally know your way
around but don't feel like going.

☺
~~ All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial
on the back of the $5.00 bill.
(You need a magnifying glass to see.)

☺
~~ The long wait at airport security was tough on the
five-year-old boy.
To keep him from making a disturbance, his mother decided
to distract him with a civics lesson.
"Johnny, do you know what's special about America?"
"No," he pouted.
"In America, everyone is free to do things, go places,
own whatever they want ... anything except hurt other people."
Johnny looked ahead at the people being searched by
the airport security guards, and nodded.
"I think I want to go to America."

☺
~~ a young & very pushy redneck goes to the dmv after moving
across state lines to get a license & the clerk asks his name,
he replies jb smith the clerk then asks what the j& b stood for.
The young man replies rudely J only B only Smith.
The license reads; jonly bonly smith

☺
~~ Over lunch one day Mrs. Scherer told Mrs. Swearingen,
"I just don't know what to do.
My husband beats me up each day."
Mrs. Swearingen tried not to show how alarmed she was.
"Rosemary," she said, "that's terrible!"
Mrs. Scherer nodded.
"I guess the best thing to do is start setting the alarm."

☺
~~ Psychiatry is the art of teaching people to stand on their own
feet while they are reclining on couches.

☺
~~ One day when I came out of the grocery store,
I got behind the wheel of my husband's old car, turned the key
and heard nothing but silence.
Apparently the car had died a quiet death while I was shopping.
I called my husband and he arrived soon after.
He came, sat in the car, turned the key
(as if to prove to himself that I was right, of course) and got
the same "nothing" I did.
That's when he popped the hood, went around to the trunk and
pulled a club out of my golf bag.
He proceeded to tap one of the battery cables with it and told me
to try and start the engine.
Sure enough it purred like a kitten.
"If it does it again," he said, "use the 5-iron."
All went well for a while until the car stalled in the middle of a
busy intersection.
Undaunted, I raced to the trunk, took out the 5-iron,
tapped the battery cable, got in and turned the key.
It started up immediately.
Before I could pull away, however, one male observer
rolled down his window, grinned and shouted.
"Hey lady. I have to know, what club did you use?"

☺
~~ I finally figured out the difference between cupcakes, muffins

and scones.
They're exactly the same except you have to suck the moisture
out of the cupcakes to turn them into muffins.
Then you leave them sitting on the counter for about a month to
turn them into scones.
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☺
Todays Thought:  The wise speak when they have something to say,

the fools speak when they have to say something.

 
 
 
 
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)

Good Morning.....A nice Sunday......
But I would like somewere warmer....
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Just thinking...I don't know if I could sit there now...

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Wanna play.....

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Okay, he's jetting off....

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What DOG??

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I have no idea......

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Cool bike...but too cold now to ride....

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Just gettin some sun.....

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What's going on?? Dummy....

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Cookies, I want Cookies.......

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Yep, would be nice...you think he's a Parrothead??

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Well...time to go....Later...

☺

♥

~~ My dad was in the car just about to leave for work when my

mom called out to him.
He left the car door open as he hurried back to the house to
retrieve his briefcase.
Then he drove the 30 minutes to work.
He parked, and just before he got out, our neighbor's white cat,
who had been hidden from view in the backseat, meowed.

☺
~~ Johnny: “There’s going to be trouble at the grocer’s.”
Mother: “Why, Dear?”
Johnny: “His wife just had a baby girl, and all week he had a
sign on his window saying “Boy Wanted”

☺
~~ Max, our dog, was so popular with the children in our
neighborhood that we joked he knew more people then we did.
We didn't know how true that was until the day one of my
neighbors told my sister-in-law Lana that she had seen Lana's
daughter the day before.
"Who was she with?" asked Lana.
"I don't know the people's names," our neighbor replied,
"but their dog's name is Max."

☺
~~ trying very hard to understand this generation.
They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that
menopause and teaching a 16-year-old to drive will occur in
the same week.

☺
~~ My boss's marriage was obviously a very happy one.
His wife was responsible for a great deal, including their finances.
I asked him why he thought his marriage sailed along so
smoothly.
"I'd much rather be the first mate of a floating ship," he replied,
"than the captain of a sinking ship."

☺
~~ When Winston Churchill was a very old man,
he paid one of his infrequent visits to the House of Commons
of which he was still a member.
An MP observing him, remarked, 'After all, they say he's potty.'
Muttered, Churchill, "They say he can't hear either."

☺
~~ The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.
One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education.
He argued: "What's a kid going to learn from someone who
decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminded the other dinner guests that it's true what they say
about teachers: "Those who can...do. Those who can't...teach."
To corroborate, he said to another guest: "You're a teacher,
Susan," he said.
"Be honest. What do you make?"
Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness, replied,
"You want to know what I make?"
"I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could."
"I make kids believe in themselves when no one else will."
"I make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor and an
A- feel like a slap in the face if the student did not do his or her
very best."
"I make parents tremble in fear when I call home"
"You want to know what I make?
"I make kids wonder."
"I make them question."
"I make them criticize."
"I make them apologize and mean it."
"I make them write."
"I make them read, read, read."
"I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful,
and definitely beautiful over and over and over again,
until they will never misspell either one of those words again."
"I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their
final drafts in English."
"I make them understand that if you have a dream,
then follow it...and if someone ever tries to judge you by
what you make or what you do, you pay them no attention."
"You want to know what I make?! "
"I make a difference."......
"What about you?"

☺
~~ “Johnny, I’ve told you many times not to speak to elder
people but wait until they stop talking.”
Johnny: “I tried that many times, Mama, but they never stop
talking.”

☺
~~ Quasimodo goes to a doctor for his annual checkup.
"I think something is wrong with your back," the doctor says.
"What makes you say that?" Quasimodo asks.
"I don't know," the doctor replies.
"It's just a hunch."

☺
~~ Pete...“Last week a grain of sand got in my wife’s eye.
We had to go to a doctor..... It cost me $200.”
Gus...“That’s nothing.
Last week a fur coat got in my wife’s eye and it cost me $5,000.”
☺
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Todays Thought: Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

 
 
 
 

 Goooood Morning...Every one ready for some good weather
for a wee bit?....
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Well, there goes my breakfast..What went wrong??

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The dogs getting a workout....

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Now, who's gettin the workout??

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Yep......

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Hands free phone?? no thanks!

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Cool.....

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Close the fridg....

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Sounds like screeching to me.....

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He thinks it's screeching......

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What a gift??

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Well, time to catch the bus......

Later...

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♥♥♥

☺

~~ My mother's German background causes her to confuse the

letters V and W when writing.
Once, after swimming at her favorite spot with friends,
she posted this lost and found notice on the bulleting board:
Found! Lost child's floating west!

☺
~~ Abraham Lincoln was a master of forming alliances between
peoples of divergent opinions.
He incorporated people who disagreed with him into his personal
staff.
This didn't always promote harmony in the White House.
One day one of his advisors came to him and said,
"Mr. President, you really have to destroy your enemies."
Mr. Lincoln smiled and said, "Isn't that what I do when I make
them my friends?"

☺
~~ Now that they've retired, my mother and father are discussing
all aspects of their future.
"What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom.
After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a
house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women
who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active
for her age.
Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I die first?" He replied,
"Probably the same thing."

☺
~~ Every year on their anniversary my friend, Gus, and his
lady friend celebrated by staying at the same hotel.
On their third anniversary they booked their usual room.
But when the hotel's bell captain escorted them upstairs,
they were in for a big surprise.
"There must be some mistake," Gus said.
"This looks like the bridal suite."
"It's okay," the bell captain reassured him.
"If I put you in the ballroom, that doesn't mean you have to dance."

☺
~~ When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida ,
I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped
from Hawaii .
I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked
me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?"
I looked at him and quickly said "Yep.
I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge".
He nodded his head and said, "Cool"!

☺
~~ The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!"

☺
~~ My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out
window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill..
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, "You gave me too much money."
I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar
bill back."
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to
repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said
"We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing."
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in
change..
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

☺
~~ In her kitchen, Betty said to her three-year-old son Geoff,"
These bananas are all brown, But instead of letting them go to
waste, let's make some banana bread together."
Geoff eagerly helped her.
After they baked the banana bread, they took a loaf to their
neighbor.
As Betty handed over the loaf, Geoff told the neighbor,
"Our bananas were rotten so we made bread for you."

☺
~~ My father-in-law and I went grocery shopping at the local
supermarket.
As we proceeded down the aisle, a woman with whom he was
acquainted inquired about some work she needed to the rear
bumper of her car.
My father-in-law, a mechanic and known in those parts as
Mr. Fix-it, said he'd drop by and have a look at it.
As we were leaving he spied the woman across the crowded
parking lot.
"Hold on a second, dear," he yelled to her as she was getting
into her car.
"I want to look at your rear end."

☺
~~ I hate it when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Damn it!), but when I immediately call back,
it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
What'd you do after I didn't answer?
Drop the phone and run away?
☺
☺
Todays Thought:  The best way to save face, is to keep the lower part of it shut.

                         (ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)

Good mornong....friends....and all other readers....
Note, to the spammers.....all the comments goes
through me before their posted....So there will
will not be spam on here!.... Good day!
º

I think I've see it all now..A valentine watermelon....

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Great....I don't like watermelons...

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3 hotdogs pleese!....

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Oh...Oh...Run....

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I'm getting tha mouses.....

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Just what I need, anice camper to head to warm Fla......

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Now, this is pretty neat.....

º

This one is tired.....

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If I can find a seat....see you later.....

º

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♥♥♥

º

~~ "Do not forget the hands of the aged; they have touched

much of life and have become sensitive and sympathetic."

º
~~ A stewardess was getting very annoyed by 3 little children on
the plane.
They had been bugging her since take-off, complaining that they
were hungry or bored or tired or thirsty or needed to go to the
bathroom and whatever else you could imagine a small child
commenting and complaining about.
Well, the stewardess had had enough.
The next time the children said that they were bored,
the stewardess told them to go play outside.

º
~~ Being Scottish Means,
* A lot of ethic groups are known for being tight with money.
Other groups are known to drink too much.
Some groups are even known for being people of few words.
Only the Scots however have combined all these traits and
thrown in a kilt and bagpipes for good measure.

* The Scot told his wife, "Be sure now to take off your new eye
glasses if you're not looking at anything."

* A Scotsman's last daughter got married and the old man was
just thrilled to death -- the confetti was getting dirty.

* The jet plane started to rattle.
Quickly, the pilot turned northward.
As soon as they crossed the border into Scotland,
everything tightened up.

º
~~ Telephone conversation:
“I want a box for two, please.”
Clerk: “We have no boxes for two!”
Customer: “Come, come.
You mean to tell me that tickets for the show are sold out?”
Clerk: “I think you have the wrong number.
This is a funeral parlor!”

º
~~ New to teaching, I was finishing up our Grade 4 class's unit
on genetics when Robert raised his hand.
"I understand how a mother gives the baby her genes," he said,
"But how does the father do it?"
Unprepared for his question, I told him to ask his parents.
"They won't know," he said.
"They'll know," I assured him.
"No they won't, he persisted.
"How can you be so sure?" I asked.
"They didn't even know what a parallelogram was," he said.

º
~~ Supposedly true story:
An editor met Sir James Barrie, author of Peter Pan.
“Sir James, I suppose some of your plays are better successes
than others.”
Sir James: “True, some Peter out, and some Pan out.”

º
~~ My sister Laura, a travel agent, often travels to different
countries, exploring new locations for her clients.
She heard about a beautiful hotel on top of a mountain on the
Greek island of Ikaria and rented a moped to find it.
Searching for hours, Laura stopped at a small restaurant with
tables on a porch and ordered a cup of coffee.
A half hour later, she was ready to set out again and asked for
her bill, but the proprietor said there was no charge.
"That is very kind of you, Laura said, "but I insist you let me pay."
"Ma'am," the man said, "There is no charge for the coffee
because this is my house."

º
~~ On our first trip to Britain, my wife was determined to visit the
home of writer Beatrix Potter in the Lake District.
We had a terrible time finding our way, though.
Driving on narrow roads full of hairpin turns, there was nary a
sign to help us.
When we finally arrived, the famous author's little home was
jammed with tourists.
Later, as we were about to leave, I approached a man who
worked at the attraction, mentioning how difficult it was to find.
"But look at all these visitors!" he said.
"Think what would happen if we helped people get here!"

º
~~ The conductor turned to the viola student and said:
"You should have taken up the viola earlier."
"Why" asked the student.
"Do you think the practice would have made me really good?"
"No" said the conductor.
"But you might have given up by now."

º
~~ A draftee was being questioned by an army psychiatrist.
"What do you think of the army?"
"I love it," the young man said.
"I want to wear the uniform proudly and learn all about soldiering.
Write that down."
The psychiatrist went on, "Will you be a capable soldier?"
"Sir, give me a gun and I'll show you.
I'll shoot until the gun melts.
If I can't get another weapon, I'll pickup a stick and go at the
enemy with that.
Then I'll go at them barehanded.
I'll bite them if I have to.
Write that down."
The psychiatrist said, "You sound a little crazy"
"Write that down!"
º
º
Todays thought:  You can pick your friends,and you can pick your nose,

but you can not pick your friends nose!

                    (ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)