Good Morning...I just don't know whats going on with the weather...
Yesterday in the 60's after being in the 30's all week....
woke up this morning....48 degrees, now the temp. going back down.
Calling for cold...and wet all week..... Up-down-up-down....
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I hope he didn't do a belly flop.......... First time I saw one swim.....
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Hey! Did you see that dive?.....Funny as Hell......

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You going after them chicken nuggets?...........

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Not, If I can get to them nuggets first....................

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Some good looking Chicken "nuggets"..... Tasty too, I bet...

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Some guys just mess up a good thing.......
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I can't help but lafe at ENO........he's da man.......

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♥♥♥

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~~~ Pikabo Street, after winning her Olympic gold medal for skiing, received $1 million for product endorsements, but didn't keep one penny of it.

She gave it all to the hospital in her small home town, which lacked an Intensive Care Unit.
They were so grateful that they decided to name the new facility after Miss Street.

They are calling it the "Pikabo ICU".

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~~~ The main trouble with mental notes is the ink fades so fast.

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~~~ A Texan went to California.

As he walked around a garden, he picked up a watermelon.

"Are these the biggest cucumbers you raise?" asked the Texan.

"Put down that raisin," snapped the Californian.

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~~~ A customer called our florist shop to order a bouquet.

"Make it bright and festive looking," she said.

"I want it to cheer up a friend.

She just lost her Seeing Eye dog."

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~~~ My ten-year-old requested that I load my Rolling Stones tunes onto his iPod.

"I had no idea you liked the Stones," I said."

Sure, I like all that old-fashioned music," he said.
"What do you mean, 'old-fashioned music'?"

"You know, he said defensively.................

"Music from the 1900s."

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~~~ When I asked a friend the secret to his 52 years of marriage, he replied, "We never go to sleep angry."
"That's a great philosophy," I noted.
"Yes. And the longest we've been awake so far is five days."

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~~~ A drummer decides to learn how to play a "real" musical instrument.

He goes into a music store and says, "I'll take that red trumpet and that accordion."

The store clerk replies, "Okay, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay.

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A small boy is woken by a huge crash of thunder.

He runs into his parents' room, where his father comforts him.

"Don't be afraid of the thunder," he says.

"It's just a noise that God makes when someone tells a lie."

But why is it thundering now?" asks the boy.

"It's the middle of the night and everyone is asleep. "

I know," replies the father.

"But it's around this time that they start to print the newspapers."

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Todays thought: Time is like money and milk, It's always running out

Good Morning, peoples of the world.... Welcome to Hummingbird Lane..
Get a cup of coffee, pull up a chair....and enjoy!
Them Canuks are sending another "Alberto Clipper" down here to
us......I just don't know about "Summer" and them........
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Nice fish, Guys.....Lots fish sticks...........ha-ha
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I'm glad I don't live there....Thats were the big fish live....thats scary!

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This is a handsome guy...I bet he can put some fish away............

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Look out.........................................................

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He likes his fish in cans.........

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How about a couple cartoons today?.........

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Story of my life........... yours too....Pete?

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♥♥♥

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~~~ The Wealthy Widower;
Sam, a 65 year old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm.

She hangs over Sam's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast.

They corner him and ask, "Sam, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Sam replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

They're knocked over, but continue to ask, "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"

Sam says, "I lied about my age."

His friends respond, "What do you mean?

Did you tell her you were only 50?"

Sam smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

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~~~ My daughter and her husband, naval reservists, have an eight-year- old son.

When one of his parochial school classmates told my daughter that Angus had said a bad word, she said, "He can't help it.

Both his parents are sailors."

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~~~ Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam -- that should keep the relatives away.

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~~~ TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND...

10. Cats' facial expressions..

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors..

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds..

7. Fat clothes..
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time..

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell..

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow..

3. Eyelash curlers...

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made..

1. OTHER WOMEN....

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~~~ Ponder this:

"With our amazing product you will grow healthier every

year until you die in perfect health."
Who can talk the flower out of blooming?
Human motives are so complex that a judge can only be a poet of justice.
Your real name can't be spelled or pronounced--only lived.
Fate remains wonderfully poised when gamblers tempt it.
Aging has acquired a bad reputation, but it's a wonderful way to stay alive.

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~~~ Feeling listless, I bought some expensive "brain-stimulating" pills at the health food store. But it wasn't until I got home that I read the label.
"This is just rosemary extract," I complained to my wife.

"I can't believe I spent all that money for something that I have growing like wild in the yard!"
"See?" she said............ "You're smarter already."

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Todays Thought: Poets and prisms make rainless rainbows.

Good Morning...everyone....A nice 16ºf degrees this morning.....

The cool weather goes all the way down to my friends in FLA.

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What do you think of this kitten?? "Alison?" I like them better with hair.....
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This guy is ready for the Super Bowl.....All he needs are the wings......
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Kitty is hiding.......waiting for a Chance for them wings.......

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These guys like fresh fish....

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Here's were you can get fish sandwiches......cheap......

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But I don't know about the ice cream...............

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♥♥♥
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~~~ A preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his flock whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them.
"Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?"
"Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider.
"It makes me miss the folks I shoot at."
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~~~ I went to the ATM this morning and it said "insufficient funds".
I'm wondering, is it them or me?
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~~~ Recently during a marriage seminar, I challenged the couples to work hard to stop silly arguments.
I told them that I would give each of them a small wooden cross as they left the event.
I instructed them to place the cross in the room that they argue the most in.
During their argument they might see the cross and it will remind them of the seminar, thus making the arguments end."
As I stood by the back door saying goodbye and passing out crosses, a woman asked, "What were the instructions again?"
I repeated that the cross needs to go in the room they argue the most in.
She looked at her husband and then back at me and said, "Then I better take six."
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~~~ A friend of mine a retired Dean at Georgetown University, once told me about an accident he witnessed through the picture window of his home.
He happened to be looking at the crossroads outside his home when two vehicles bumped noses. He observed that one driver was in the right, the other wrong.
Of course he offered his eyewitness report to the investigating officer.
Sometime later a lawyer contacted him on behalf of one of the drivers.
After several minutes of consultation, he was informed that his testimony would not be of value to the case.
The reason: he viewed the event through a window!
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~~~ A regular at Bubba's Bar and tackle came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful.
"Whoa, Gus!" said the bartender.
"Who gave those beauties to you?"
"Nobody gave them to me," said Gus.
"I had to fight like crazy for both of them."
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~~~ Todays thought: There is a guaranteed way to get what you want:
want less.

Good morning....got a bunch of birds today.........

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I got my eye on you.....................................

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I'm watching them birds........I wanna jump on them......

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And I'm watching that cat.....

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Yep....we are watching too..............

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What can I say..........

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Go away...we don't have anything to eat.....your not getting my donut....

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Chicken nuggets ???

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Not Me....Eeuuuuuuu.....

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♥♥♥

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~~~

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the checkout line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"

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~~~ Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning.

My husband told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead.
He didn't return for the longest time, so I went looking for him.

I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our phone machine click on.
"Hi," a voice said.

"This is Dad...... I'm locked out of the house."

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~~~ Little Johnny and his grandfather entered the vacation cabin, and kept the lights off until they were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed them in.

Noticing them before his grandfather did, Little Johnny whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa.

The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights...."

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~~~ A young woman was taking an afternoon nap.

After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.

What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight," he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled ...."The meaning of dreams".

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~~~ If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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~~~ THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR ......
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!

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Todays thought: There are spaces between our fingers so that another person's fingers can fill them in.

Good Morning.....a nice cold morning.....16ºf degrees this morning...

I glad I'm not in D.C. with the cold and the people packed in there...

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Milo is saying "were's the beef!"............

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Gimme a kiss babe....I'm off to work...........

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Why I wouldn't like to handle these guys......Good Job.....

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This guy thinks it funny.......

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He does too......

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Cute now....but later??...................................

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Oh...no....He's stealing our fuzzys...........

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♥♥♥

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~~~ BAD DATE EXCUSES............

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If your date ever uses any of these lines, you know its game over.
I want to spend more time with my blender.
The President said he might drop in.
The man on television told me to say tuned.
I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
My crayons all melted together.
I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.

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~~~ A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

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Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

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~~~ Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

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~~~ Gus was in the middle of a speech when someone at the back calls out, "I can't hear you."

Someone at the front calls back, "Could we swap places?"

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~~~ After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs.

The woman representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision.

I also asked for a special meal and assistance in changing planes.

My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me everything would be taken care of.

I thanked her profusely.

"Why, you're welcome," she replied.

I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother be needing a rental car?"

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~~~ A friend and I were a few minutes late for the movies, so after we found our seats, Dawn went to get us some snacks.

It was completely dark in the theater when Dawn returned, and she had some difficulty finding our row.

She finally sat down and whispered, “Did I miss anything?”
“Yes,” a male voice answered. “Your row!”

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~~~ DOCTOR TO MOTHER WITH A NEW BABY: "It's a new medical technology.

Instead of crying, we can program your choice of 200 fun ring tones!"

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~~~ Our waitress's favorite customers are cops.

"When they're done," she says, "I get to give them their ticket and they have to pay it before they can leave."

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~~~ Our son's young daughter doesn't know Victoria's Secret from PetSmart, but does know a winning formula when she sees it.

Passing a lingerie store window that touted a big sale, she pointed to the mannequins.
"Look!" she shouted to her mother, "The sale worked.

The store sold everything but the underwear."

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~~~ Todays Thought: A barking dog is often more useful then a sleeping lion....

Good Morning.....everyone.....hope everyone is enjoying my postings....
I am enjoying doing it.....it takes some time, but I got plenty.....

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Whoooooooooooooo............
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What can you say??

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Bobbie sent me this pic....I think it's neat.........

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Cute.....................................

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Do these guy's come out on the full moon???

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Perfume???...................................

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Yahoo, ride them cowbear.........................................

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♥♥♥

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~~~ You know...I can remember where I got married.

I can remember when I got married.

I just can't remember why.....

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~~~ The marriage got off to a bad start during the wedding service.

The priest said, "You may now kiss the bride."

And she said, "Not now. I've got a headache."

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~~~ My son, a used-car dealer, showed his customer a 2005 Chevy in great condition.

"And it's only $7,000" he told the man.

"I'm willing to give you $3,500," said the customer.

My son feigned disappointment.

"If at all possible," he responded, "I'd like to sell you the whole car."

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~~~ An accordion player is driving home from a late night gig.

Feeling tired, he pulls over for some coffee.

While waiting to pay, he remembers that he locked his car doors but left the accordion in plain view on the back seat of his car!

He rushes out only to discover that he's too late, the side window of his car has been smashed and somebody has thrown in two more accordions.

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~~~ Definition of the jet age: breakfast in Rome, lunch in Paris, dinner in London, bags in Singapore.

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~~~ "Wal-Mart says it classifies its customers into three groups: brand aspirationals, price sensitive affluents, and value-price shoppers.

Wal-Mart says the new categories will replace the old customer classifications: teeth or no teeth." --Conan O'Brien

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~~~ Three gents in a bar are discussing a female acquaintance who is trying without success to have a family.

The first says, "I believe she is impregnable."

The second says, "I think she is inconceivable."

The third disagrees, saying, "You're both off the mark.

She is obviously unbearable."

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~~~ After my wife landed a coveted job offer from courier company DHL, we went out of town to celebrate.

While on our trip, she was contacted by the company's human resources department with an urgent request to complete and send back her tax forms.

"No problem," she said....................... "I'll FedEx them right over."

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Todays thought: Loving others is not so much an obligation as a privilege.

Good morning.....friends.....Heat wave this morning......27º....
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An't I cute......Alison?....

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Naw,...your just standing in the water......

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Let's all dance........

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He likes to dance too.................................................
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Put him on American Idol........................................

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I'm too busy, eating..........................
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"The MAN"

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♥♥♥

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~~~ Gus,..... on how he's spending his retirement:

"I ain't doing a damn thing, and I don't start until noon."

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~~~ This teenager was in a boutique for at least an hour choosing the perfect dress for a party. But the next day, she was back with the outfit.
"Can I exchange this for something else?" she asked.
I was surprised, but I couldn't argue with her explanation: "My parents like it."

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~~~ Bobbie said, "Whatcha doin today?"

I said, "Nothing."

She said, "You did that yesterday."
I said, "I wasn't finished."

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~~~ One old man was sitting on a park bench talking to a new acquaintance.
"I'll tell you," he said, "I've learned that arthritis is the cruelest disease."
"Crueler than cancer?" his friend asked.
"You bet," the first codger replied.

"It makes every single one of your joints stiff, except the right one."

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~~~ reasons to sign off ......

A friend calls and says "How are you? Your phones have been busy " -- for a year!!!!!
You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said ;YOU'VE GOT MAIL
You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car.
Tech support calls YOU for help.
You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.
You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
Being called a "newbie" is a major insult to you.
Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.

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~~~ Sherry said....Purely by coincidence, I ran into my husband in our local grocery store on Valentine's Day.

Mark was carrying a beautiful pink azalea, and I joked, "That better be for me."

From behind, a woman's voice: "It is now."

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~~~ A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

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~~~ Sally and Esther are sitting on the porch of their Miami Beach hotel.
"Oh my God!", cries Sally".

"Look at that poor boy! Such a weak chin. "

"His mouth is crooked. "

"And look, his eyes are crossed."
"That boy," says Esther, "happens to be my son."
"Oh," replies Sally."

"On him it's very becoming."

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Todays thought: "Those who race through life finish first."