Well...Good morning... It's gonna be a very nice day.......
So...gonna get out side and plant....


Must have went with us, for Sam's birthday lunch.....

Now...Keeping my mouth shut.

I know what he's thinking.....Search time.....

" Bobbies " poker playing pardner........ Both are Card "sharks"

~0~

The Rednecks....

Pete won a multi million dollar lottery and he had a large house built.

When the house was completed he invited Gus over to see his new home.

Gus was estounded at the size and beauty of the house.

Pete told Gus to come in the backyard to see his swimming pool.

Gus put his hand in the water and stated, "oh Pete, The water is so warm."

"That for my friends that like warm water" exclaimed Pete.

"Come around to the side of the house".

At the side of the house was another swimming pool.

Again Gus stuck his hand in the water. Oh Pete, the water is so cold".

And Pete replied, "That is for my friends that like cold water..

Come to the other side of the house Pete replied proudly".

So off they went. Once there, Gus saw yet another swimming, but there was no water in it.

And after asking his friend why the pool was empty, Pete proudly replied.............

"This one is for my friends that cant swim".

~0~

I hate to be the one to spread the sad news, but there will be no more Pete & Gus jokes.

Pete passed away and left a will.

He wanted to be buried at sea.

Gus drowned trying to dig his grave.

~0~

“Now, that looks like a happily married couple.” Remarks the husband.

“Don’t be too sure, my Dear.

They are probable saying the same thing about us.”

Replied his wife.

While I have your attention...I want to say Happy Birthday


To a dear friend....


"Happy Birthday" Sam....


I hope we can celebrate many more..





Right on "Sam".....

Now....That's about the size of things ..............................

News?????????????????????

Rest easy old pal.......

~0~

Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?"

Woman: "Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair."

Friend: "But your husband is still alive."

Woman: "I know, but his hair is gone."

~0~

A wife went to the police station to report her missing husband and took along her next-door neighbor for moral support.

When asked for his description, she told the officer, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, weighs 185 pounds, has blue eyes, blond wavy hair, an athletic build, is soft-spoken, and good with children."

Her neighbour protested, "Your husband is short, bald, fat, and mean."

"True, the wife replied, "but who'd want him back?"

~0~

My wife and I married for money. We both married for money. Boy were we suprised.

Hey..everyone...Good morning. It's getting warmer, and warmer...
Spring is in the air. Everything is blooming..



Why would you wan't to get to school any faster ?

Won't be long......

1920's swimwear police--This is much to short...Boy if he could see them now....




Damn....loud fish....you don't have to holler! I'm coming with the food....

~0~

All Smiles....

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.

The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress.

Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.

"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery, spent it all on whisky.

Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one.

Gus-Bob the redneck from Virginia, 70, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

"Thought he was having his picture taken."

~0~

Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of "May Day!"?

Good morning everyone....Have a nice weekend, did ya?
I had a good one..Ate too much, and planted some in the garden...
And had a good talk to a dear friend....can't beat that...


Submarine ??

Words to a song comes to mind: "they'll be dancing in the street".

This is "Tommy" he is a stunted small cat with a 3/4 tail....
loves playing with the squirrels....

This is my fav. cartoon It's so funny...So I thought you all might like...

~0~

My neighbor is so rich that he has a birdbath in his backyard.

Now that might not sound unusual, but his has a salad bar also...

~0~

Ponder this...."Witchy"

The first thing many a child learns when he receives a toy drum is that he will never get another.

Did you hear about the people who went to the drive-in movie and hated it so much that they got rowdy and ripped up the seats?

What is the difference between a wood tick and a lawyer?

A wood tick falls off you when you die.

Why does New Jersey have so many toxic waste dumps and Washington, D. C., has so many lawyers?

New Jersey got first choice...................

Good Morning....people. Enjoying your week end?


Granny's tree....I'm proud to have helped with this beautiful tree.

This is called "Chillin out"...............................

What makes the trees into monsters is a wintery cocktail of snow and ice shaken and stirred by a blustery freezing Siberian wind..

Lady bug.....she gotten into carrying her water too.

~0~

The Redhead and the Lawyer;

A comely redhead was dazzled by her lawyer's skill and virtuosity, not to mention his large income and good looks.

By the time she obtained her divorce she had fallen in love with him, even though he was married.

At the conclusion of the trial, she asked him, "Howard, is there any way we can be together?"

Holding her shoulders, Howard looked deep into her eyes and said, "Snatched drinks in grimy bars at the edge of town? Lying phone calls? Hurried rendezvous in sordid motel rooms?

Is that really what you want for us?"

"No, no, I guess not," she sobbed, heartbroken. "

Oh," said her attorney. "Well, it was merely a suggestion!"

One day a man visited the bank with his mother, who was planning to visit his brother in Florida and needed to withdraw some money for the trip.

As they prepared to leave, the man decided to play a prank on his mom.

At the top of my voice he said, 'Mom, why can't you just tell the truth?'" he explained. "

''You're going to Florida to get a face lift and breast implants!''.............

He will get out of the hospital next week..................

Good Morning friends, and all the ships at sea..............



Guess what....Dinner is served.....

Another tree picture from "Bobbie" hard to believe it's a living tree.

Friends..I love cats...so this is the saddest picture I've seen in a while...

Carol, these are the shoes Rae needs....what do you think?

No fools...no fun.

~0~

Handy Hints for Campers . . .

*Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire.

*When smoking a fish, never inhale.

*Steer clear of parks named for landfills.

*While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

*Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour.

Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

*Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter.

Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

*You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

~0~

Quote;"I drink too much.

Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it." (Rodney Dangerfield)

Good morning everyone.....I'm enjoying these 70 degree days......

looks like their enjoying it too........

Bobbie sent this picture of a cool tree....

Had to be years in the making....

Beautiful cats.....

Bill's got alot of time on his hands now...........

~0~

Even with a thousand games, dolls and crafts to choose from, my Friend at the toy store still couldn't find a thing for her grandson.

"Maybe a video or something educational?" I asked.

"No, that's not it," she said.

We wandered the aisles until something caught her eye: a laser gun with flashing lights and 15 different high-pitched sounds.....

"This is perfect," she said beaming. "My daughter-in-law will hate it."

~0~

My favorite time of year is the brief span in spring when the lilacs are in bloom.

That very first whiff of their sweet fragrance says.

"Winter's gone.

Your toes can come out of hibernation and run barefoot again."

I wonder if he gets the animal channel....................

~O~

My doctor told me to start my exercise program very gradually so today I drove past a store that sells sweat pants.

~~~First golfer, Bucky: "What was your score?"

Bucky: "Seventy-two.

"Tony: "That's not too bad at all!"

Bucky: "Thanks! I hope I'll do better on the second hole."

Psychiatrists say it's not good for man to keep too much to himself.

The Internal Revenue Service says the same thing.....

I don't know about the rest of you.....But I think it's funny,
watching them beating on each other......
Question ; Can there be an Honest politician?

Now...thats the way to drink a cuppa coffee, strong and black...
That'll wake you up, in the morning.......

~0~

A married woman has a lover.

It’s no secret, her husband and all there friends know about it.

One day, the woman suddenly dies.

At the funeral, to the embarrassment of all, the boyfriend is there and is crying hysterically.

Finally, the husband can't take anymore of it.

He approaches the man, puts his arms around him and says "Please don't carry on like this.

I'll marry again."

~0~

Someone from the cemetery called to verify information about my preplanned funeral and burial arrangements.

After writing everything down, she assured me, "That's all I needed......

You're good to go."

I heard a heavenly voice Saturday.....so sweet.........



Just what Snowman needs..........A v-8 snow blower

Lets all give a hand to this picture.....................

All that comes to mind.."rainy day woman"
Damn...now that will be stuck in my head all day.

~0~

A colleague and I had a free afternoon during a business trip.

We decided to go shopping and were told there was a mall farther down on the same street as our hotel.

The weather had turned unfriendly, and huge snowflakes blurred our vision as we ploughed on to the nearest bus stop.

After a considerable wait, the bus finally arrived.

We shook off the snow, boarded and asked the driver to let us know when we reached our destination.

With a friendly smile, he said: "Don't sit down.

The next stop is yours."

~0~

Did you hear that in New York the Stop and Shop grocery chain merged with the A&P?

Now it's called the Stop & P.

~0~

Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.

Good morning.......Hope every one had a good weekend......



Guess what....they smell too.................

Now you know, he wouldn't hide like that.....would he ?

Nice jump Bubba.................................

Keeping my thoughts to my self..........

At least there's one good thing about high gas prices:

Whenever I fill the tank, I double the value of my car.

~0~

Following Surgry Gus was in a coma.

Days later, he finally came out of it.

Gus," said his wife, "how do you feel?"

Slowly looking around at the hoses, tubes, wires and monitors attached to his body he responded weakly, "Overaccessorized."

~0~

Tree groups spend other people's money:

children, thieves, politicians.

All three need supervision.

~0~

A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be.

My friends know I like them...I slip their name in here...
It's called having fun.....That's why we're here.......


Hurry up....I can't hold on much longer.......

How about this make up ? It would freak me out...

I couldn't hold it....Would be wet time I got there......

A Tornado hit a Arkansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning.

It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping.

By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over.

The wife was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Don't be scared, Pat," her husband said."We're not hurt."

Pat continued to cry.

"I'm not scared, Pete"she said between sobs.

"I'm happy... this is the first time in 14 years we've been out together."

~0~

After struggling for many hours deep within the forest of stately hardwoods, the new lumberjack finally quit.

He just couldn't hack it.

~0~

My mind was wandering while my friend Phil and I were fishing out on the lake.

"If water is composed of two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen," I mused, "then why doesn't it burn?"

"It's much too wet!" was Phil's reply.

Computer is awful slow today.... all the security programs
up dating at the same time....

Thats me.....

Can you believe taking these....To loose fat?

I love the self-checkout aisle at my supermarket.

The only problem comes when I leave an item on the scanner too long and the robo-voice scolds, "Please move your whole milk (or whatever) to the bagging area."

Ordinarily, I just ignore it. But on my last shopping trip, I moved fast when the voice began shouting....... "Please move your pork butt."

With fire alarms blaring at Bobbie's apartment complex, she grabbed her favorite bathing suit and ran out.

"A bathing suit?" I said later.

"Of all the priceless things in that apartment, that's what you chose to save?"

"Material things come and go," she said.

"But a one-piece suit that doesn't make you look fat is impossible to replace.