Good Morning Friends...
I am going to take a break for a spell...
I've been posting for about 4 years, and It's time
to think about keep going....
Also this morning I am losing a dear friend
and reader.....  I don't think he will make it....
So I will see you in a spell....
Also I will cut the commets off as the damn spammers
try everyday to post their crap.... It's tiresome!
Oh, and a note... Anything advertised by spam
I do not ever buy.......
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Update... Sunday, Jan. 8 2012.....
 My Dear Friend Passed away this evening......
RIP Petewete.... You will be Missed!!

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Good Morning, Friends....
Reading 31º now, but calling for Mostly sunny.
Highs in the lower 60s today....

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A young woman was making confession to her
priest and said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.
I have committed the sin of vanity as, thrice every day,
I look at myself in my full length mirror and told myself how
very beautiful I am."
 After the priest looked at her, he said, "I have good news
for you, my dear.
That is not vanity........ It's simply a mistake."

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If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them,
five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog....

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A man and woman were having marriage problems,
and decided to end their union after a very short time
together.
After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple went to
court to finalize their break-up.
 The judge asked the husband, “What has brought you to
this point, where you are not able to keep this marriage
together?”
 The husband said, “In the six weeks we’ve been together,
we haven’t been able to agree on one thing.”
 The wife said, “Seven weeks.”

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Building Security has notified us that there have been 5
suspected terrorists working at our office.
Four of the five have been apprehended.
Bin Sleeping, Bin Loafing, Bin Gossiping, and Bin Surfing
have been taken into custody.
Security advised us that they could find no one fitting the
description of the fifth cell member, Bin Working,
 in the office.
Police are confident that anyone who looks like Bin Working
will be very easy to spot......
They thought they had apprehended Bin Working sitting at
a desk, but it was actually Bin Surfing trying to impersonate
Bin Working.

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A blonde guy is going to London on a plane;
how can you steal his window seat?
Tell him all seats going to London are in the middle row.

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When you die at 77, no matter what you die of,

 its natural causes.......
Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes.
Cause if you was younger, you'd got out of the way.

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Political analysts are saying that Mitt Romney is having
trouble generating enthusiasm among Iowa voters.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, you know you have a problem
when people in Iowa find you dull.
Iowa is a state in the Midwest that manufactures pigs,
corn and old people.

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2012 is supposed to be the year the world ends.
Have you seen the national debt?
If the world doesn't end, we are so screwed.

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Todays Thought:

What is a cynic?..... A man who knows the price of everything and the
value of nothing. - Oscar Wilde

Rae's Trivia......

Arthur Guinness Signs a 9,000-Year Lease on His Brewery (1759)
Guinness is a celebrated Irish dry stout that originated in the Dublin
brewery of Arthur Guinness.
When Guinness acquired his brewery, he famously signed a
9,000-year lease that fixed his annual rent at 45 pounds.
 From 1799, the brewery produced only its distinctive, dark, creamy
Guinness stout, which became known as the national beer of Ireland.

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Good Morning....
Went from 12 degrees yesterday to 26 degrees
this morning....Mostly sunny, today...
Highs in the mid 40s.
West winds 5 to 10 mph with gusts up to 20 mph.

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A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was
mugged by a gang of snails.
A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if
he could explain what happened.
 The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his
face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”

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Patient: Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!
Doctor: Sorry, I don’t follow you...

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I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you...
If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment...
Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?

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What has four hundred legs and
no pubic hair?
The front row of a Justin Beiber concert.

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One day our physics professor was discussing a particularly
complicated concept.
A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
 "To save lives......" the professor responded quickly and
continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again.
"So, how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
 "It keeps the idiots out of medical school,"
replied the professor.

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Knock Knock
 Who's there?
 Alex
 Alex who?
 Alexplain later now let me in.

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A man and his wife are sitting at the kitchen table, which is next to
the window.
The man's name is Rudolph, and since he is Russian,
people call him "Rudolph the Red."
Rudolph looked out the window and said to his wife,
"Oh look honey, it's raining outside."
She looks out as well and says, "No, I think that is snow."
He looks at her and says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain dear."

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Busy day at the malls today.
My wife buys everything that's marked down.
Last year she came home with an escalator.

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Todays Thought:

Words of Wisdom;
A complex system that does not work is invariably found to
have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

Rae's Trivia.....

Bats also invert our common beliefs regarding their eyesight.
The bat, a nocturnal creature, hunts its prey at night,
and rests up (or down, as is the case) for the evening’s events by day.
One would be incorrect in assuming that the bat has keen night vision,
to assist it in its feeding frenzy........ Not so.
 The bat employs an echo system, whereby it tosses out a
high-frequency sound, inaubible to humans, which in turn strikes a
target, and then bounces back to the bat, thereby letting it know what
lies ahead.
Were it not for the bat’s radar, we would hear even more bumps in
the night than we already do.

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Good Morning, Friends...
Well...coldest morning so far....
I'm reading 12.4º this morning.....
Partly sunny today... Highs in the mid 30s.
Southwest winds around 5 mph....

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"Hi. This is the President.
Is Senator Lieberman in?"
"Not today, Sir..... This is Yom Kippur."
"Well, hello, Yom. Can I leave a message?"

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What's the job application to Hooters?
They just give you a bra and say: Here, fill this out.

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I was at the gas station filling the tank on my car when I look up to
see my brother in law, also filling up his tank.
Needless to say, the pump on his end was slightly malfunctioning,
as it didn't stop when the tank was full.....
it splashed out when he overfilled it and it covered his hand.
 He went in to pay for his gas and came back out while his girlfriend
was chewing him out "How could you be so stupid?"
He got mad and proceeded to light up a cigarette.
 Predictably, his hand and arm immediately ignited.
He was sticking his arm out the open window frantically attempting
to put out the flames.
I yanked off my jacket, threw it on him and put the fire out,
then I called 911 for the burns on his hand and arm.
 The ambulance came and treated his burns and the police later
arrested him.
His court hearing took place last week.
He was found guilty of one count of waving a firearm in public.

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How do you kill a group of circus clowns?
Go for the juggler!

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A little boy asked his mother....
"Mommy, may I go swimming in the ocean?"
"Sorry, honey.
The water's too rough and there's a dangerous undertow.
Plus, this part of the coast in notorious for jellyfish and sharks,"
she explained.
 The little boy persisted, "But Daddy's out there swimming in the
ocean."
"Well, yes, but your daddy has excellent life insurance," she answered.

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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion.
He said okay, you're ugly too.

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When my daughter asked about two look-alike classmates
at her school, I told her that were probably twins.
The next day, she came home from school all excited and
said, "Guess what? They are not only twins, they're brothers!"

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A guy ordered a thin & crispy Supreme from the
local pizza store. They sent him Diana Ross.

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A wife asked her husband to pick up some organic vegetables
on his way home from work, but he couldn't locate them in the
produce section at the market.
He approached an elderly store employee and said, "These are for
my wife.
Are there any poisonous chemicals sprayed on them?"
 "No sir," the man answered..... "You'll have to do that yourself."

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Todays Thought:

"That action is best which accomplishes the greatest
happiness for the greatest numbers."

Rae's Trivia....

All the genetic material in the sperm and egg cells that produced
the Earth’s present population could fit into a space the size of
an aspirin.

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Good Morning....Friends...
A nice chilly 25º, this morning....
Partly sunny. Highs around 30º's today....
winds 15 to 20 mph with gusts up to 35 mph.
Good day for surfing...huh?

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My boss phoned me today.
He said, "Is everything okay at the office?"
I said, "Yes, it's all under control.
It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."
 "Can you do me a favor?" he asked.
I said, "Of course, what is it?"
He said, "Hurry up and take your shot, I'm in the foursome
behind you."

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On the first day of training for parachute jumping,
Pete listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at
300 feet.
 Pete asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at
 300 feet?"
"That's a good question.
When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of
people on the ground."
 After pondering his answer, he asked,
"What happens if there's no one there I know?"

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This blonde turns on her computer one morning at work.
As it comes to life, suddenly smoke starts billowing out the
back.
Frantically, she calls tech support and asks,
"Are you guys having a fire down there?"

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Q: Why did Bruce Wayne's date go badly?
A: Because he has BAT breath!

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Sarah, the church gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the
church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s
business.
Several residents were unappreciative of her activities,
but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
 She made a mistake, however, in accusing new-member
George after she saw his pickup truck parked all afternoon in
front of the town’s only bar.
Said Sarah, “Everyone seeing it there would just know that he
was an alcoholic!”
 George, a taciturn sort, stared at her for a moment before
simply walking away, saying nothing.
 Later that evening, George parked his pickup in front of
Sarah’s house.
 And proceeded to leave it there all night.

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Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had
learned at Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind
enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of
Egypt.
"When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a
pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.
"Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for
reinforcements.
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites
were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?"
his mother asked.
"Well, no.
But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

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According to a survey "whatever" was the most
annoying word of 2011.
I can think of many words way more annoying than that,
such as Congress, Obamacare, etc.... You get the idea.

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Todays Thought:

The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with
human ambition. - Carl Sagan

Rae's Trivia....

On December 4, St. Barbara Day, Czechoslovakians believe
that a young woman should place a cherry twig in a glass of water.
If the twig blooms by Christmas Eve, it foretells that she is certain
to marry in the next year.

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Good Morning...Friends..
Today we're having, Partly sunny in the morning...
then becoming mostly cloudy.
Highs in the lower 40s.
West winds 15 to 20 mph with gusts up to 30 mph.
Well, did everyone enjoy the Holiday?
Now back to the grind..

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Tight fit.....

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I wish all of you a happy new year.... we must not forget this
may be the last year.
It is a leap year, which means it may well be only 359 days
till we either melt, freeze, are attacked by aliens, or we just
enjoy a new beginning of humanity when most of mankind
is wiped out. So... here's the deal.
Can y'all loan me enough money for beer and viagra for
everyday until December 21?
I'll pay you back on December 22..... I promise..

Sorry, but I just sent everything I could scrape up to a nice
man in Nigeria, who is going to help me retrieve an inheritance
that I didn't know I had over there.

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My New Year's resolutions are:
1. Stop making lists.
B. Be more consistent.
7. Learn to count.

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An optimist stays up to see the New Year in.
A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.

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My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him.
He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup,
and again during the year if any medical needs arise.
 For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger
than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.
 If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses
whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn
a living every day.
 I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like
a brick.........
 I think my dog is a member of Congress!

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An elderly couple visits a divorce attorney to file separation
papers.
"You're ninety-three and she's eighty-nine," said the lawyer.
"After all these years, why do you want to file now?"
 "We thought is was best to wait until the children were dead,
" answered the man.

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I am Death...
With his heavy reaper, Death raps hard on the door of a house
of a little old lady in her 90's.
He waits....... He raps harder on the door.
Finally the little old lady opens the door, looks up at the dark,
ominous figure and smiles.
In a cold, heavy, deep voice he says,
"I AM DEATH!"
The little old lady having pity on him says,
"That's ok, I'll speak up a little louder!"

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One third of car crashes are due to drunk driving.
Which means two thirds of car crashes are caused by drivers
not drinking.
Think before you enter a vehicle.
If the driver is sober, enter at your own risk.

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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table,
because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

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Every evening, a mother and her young son, knelt down
beside his bed so he could say his prayers.
One night, obviously bored with the same old prayer,
the little boy said this: "Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake......
can I have breakfast with you in the morning?"

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Todays Thought;

One of the big disappointments in life is that the person who
writes the advertising for the bank is not the one who makes
 the loans.

Rae's Trivia.....

Elizabeth Arden (1884)
Born in Canada as Florence Nightingale Graham, Arden moved to
New York City in 1907 and under her new name opened a beauty salon.
Her business became an international empire based on salons,
hundreds of "scientifically formulated" beauty products, and an
exclusive image—all packaged in her trademark pink.
Arden made makeup acceptable to "respectable" American women,
introducing them to eye shadow, mascara, and lipstick tinted to
match their outfits.

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Good Morning, Friends.....
Happy New Year!!
Today we're having Mostly sunny.
Highs in the upper 50s.

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"President Obama was in San Diego and traffic was a huge
mess.
There was even a three-hour backup tunneling in from Mexico."

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A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country
to represent a long-term client accused of robbery.
After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and
released.
Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm:
"€œJustice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste, "€œAppeal immediately!"

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Last Christmas I got no respect.
In my stocking, I got an odor-eater - Rodney Dangerfield

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The happy couple was thrilled to hear they were expecting
a baby but worried about the reaction of their young son. 
When told he would soon have a new brother or sister,
the boy was elated but then promptly asked,
"May I have a monkey too?"

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Never take one Baptist fishing. He'll drink all your beer.
Better to take two; neither of them will touch the beer.

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''If Trump does become president, I hear he’s going to put a
 wig on his plane and call it Hair Force One.''

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I lived in an apartment once where the walls were so thin,
If I or the neighbor guy farted, neither of our wives could tell
who did it.

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The walls were sooooo thin....
One night we were in bed, and the neighbor started banging on
the wall complaining that my wife needed to shave her legs.

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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was,
she put everything in both names.
Her and her mother's.

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Todays Thought;

"For last year's words belong to last year's language.
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning." - T.S. Eliot

Rae's Trivia...

The nation's projected population is more than 312 million as we
ring in the 2012 New Year.

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