# 1200

Good Morning, Friends and Neighbors...
38º this morning, light rain this morning, clearing later.
We have rain to the East and snow to the west....
We're in the middle of it all... in the 50's next
couple days....
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Quit playing with your food!.. and eat..

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More, eggs tat on the head??

Whats going on??

Looks kinda dumb.....

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I wouldn't talk about it either....

Plead the 5th.....

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I've heard of virus's but not cats...!!

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Any one lose a cat??

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I got the broke windows 7

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Heck, with it ...

I'm going to sun myself between the rain spells...

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Ride while you can....check point coming up....

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Get you paper work out....

road block ahead....

they been waiting on you...

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"Skippy" is ready for cold weather...

He's cool....

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I don't like driving like this....

I feel hemmed in...

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Well, I'll get my "roach killers on and get outta here.
You all, take care....

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♥♥♥

~~ Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I'm ugly!

Lay on the couch, face down.

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~~ My wife woke me up in the middle of the night.
"There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made
this morning."
I answered; "Who shall I call, police or ambulance?"
Thats when the fight started....

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~~ Bar tender : Hello?
Phone Caller: I'm trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot.
Her first name is Ima.
Could you please ask if anybody at your bar knows her?
Bartender: I'd be glad to.
Please hold on.
(shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?

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~~ A TEENAGER who had just received her learner's permit
offered to drive her parents to church.
After a wild ride, they finally reached their destination.
The driver's mother got out of the car and said, "Thank you."
"Anytime," her daughter replied.
As the woman slammed the door, she said,
"I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking to God."

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~~ My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never
ate unless someone prepared a meal for him.
When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the
supermarket for her if she'd make a list.
She sent him off with a carefully-numbered list of seven
items.
Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and
proceeded to unpack the grocery bags.
He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams,
four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers,
six eggplant, and seven green peppers!
On return he said, "Why was it so more expensive for me
than when you do the grocery shopping?"

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~~ I've lost a lot of sleep over the past few nights as my
neighbor's dog has been barking,
howling and whining way into the late hours.
I finally confronted him about his mutt's unusual behavior
and he said the dog has developed a medical condition
and there isn't much that can be done about it.
Seems he's become quite edgy and easily agitated.
I think they call it "Irritable Bow-Wow Syndrome."

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~~ I dropped my mobile phone in the bath yesterday.
I said to my wife, "My phone is screwed".
She said, "It might still work, have you tried ringing it?"
I said, "Yes, but not much water is coming out".

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~~ Did you know: in Iran, at the bars downtown on Saturday
night they have a wet burka contest.

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~~ PUBLIC SCHOOLS: A place of detention for children placed
in the care of teachers who are afraid of the principal,
principals who are afraid of the school board,
school boards who are afraid of the parents,
parents who are afraid of the children,
and children who are afraid of nobody.
EDUCATION: What a father gets when he sits in on a
conversation with a group of teenagers.
COLLEGE PROFESSOR - a man who gets what's left over
after the football coach is paid off.

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~~ Petewete  follows a woman out of a movie theater.

She has a dog on a leash.
He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help
noticing that your dog really seemed to be enjoying the movie.
He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at
the boring parts,
but most of all he laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
Don't you find it strange?"
"Yes," she replied, "I found it very strange.....
He hated the book!"

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Todays Thought:  "How far that little candle throws its beams!

So shines a good deed in a naughty world."

Rae's Trivia.. Who was the first American saint?

Elizabeth Ann Seton was the first native-born American to be
sainted.
She was born on August 28, 1774 in New York.
She was sainted in the Holy Year of 1975.
 
 
 

       


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Cold morning this morning, Friends and neighbors...
Sleet and snow tonight, but we won't get much......
Seems like we get warm, then cold and wet....
Our weather has been like a yo-yo.....
Changes every couple days.....
Florida's looking better every day.......
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Eggs and bacon tattooed on you head ¿

are you Okay ¿

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Breakfast down under, with all that flooding...

I can't believe the size of the flooded area...

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Pay back is bad....ha-ha

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I'll never tell.......

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You can't believe the cat!!

She just wants your great bed.....

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Said she counted 3 times and there is one too many..

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Any where you can,any where, Bubba...

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You think they will wake up¿

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I think the lock... would be better.

What do you think......

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Mine went off yesterday....

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Redneck's chrome job...

Them Sheik's got nothing on me.....

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♥♥♥

~~ Petewete said:  I was thrilled about a tremendous weight loss but only for a short time.

Apparently you have to get on the scale with both feet.

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~~ I was with a friend in a cafe when a noisy car alarm
interrupted our conversation.
"What good are car alarms when no one pays any attention
to them?" I wondered aloud.
"Some are quite effective," my friend corrected me."Last
summer, my teenager spent a lot of time over at the
neighbor's house.
Whenever I wanted him home, I'd go out to the driveway
and jostle his car!

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~~ The junior high school teacher was giving her students
a test on American history.
One question was, "Who said, 'I regret that I have but on
life to give to my country'?"
A youngster answered, "Nathan Haley said it.
The saying is now known as Haley's Comment."

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~~ Only In Hollywood..........
A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house.
His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside.
"What happened, honey?" the man asks.
"Oh, John, it was terrible," she weeps.
"I was cooking, the phone rang.
It was your agent.
Because I was on the phone, I didn't notice the stove had
caught on fire.
It went up in seconds.
Everything is gone.
I nearly didn't make it out of the house.
Poor Fluffy is gone........"
"Wait!..... Back up a minute," the man says.
"My agent called?"

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~~ An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her
husband has taken ill.
The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature;
she replied that she hadn't but would and then call back.
When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor called
and asked her what had happened.
She said, "Well, I didn't have a thermometer,
so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry,
so I gave him a pint and he went off to work!"

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~~ When my kid sister and my mother bought three exotic
birds, they named them This, That and The Other.
After a few months, This died, and they buried the bird in the
backyard.
A few more months later, The Other passed away and they
buried it next to This.
Then the last bird died.
Mom called my sister and tearfully announced, "Well, I guess
that's That."

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~~ Our friend tells everyone that he began losing his hair while
serving in Vietnam.
His granddaughter incorporated that information into her grade
school history report on the war.
She wrote, "My grandpa went to Vietnam and got his hair shot off.

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~~ Q: What did the cavewoman say when a lemon tree fell

on her pet saber-toothed tiger?
A: Nothing. She just stood there with a sour puss

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~~ Because I had forgotten the dates for the birthdays and
anniversaries of a number of my friends and relatives,
I decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates
highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on.
I went to a number of computer stores to find a software program
that would do the job but had no luck at the first few.
I finally found one where the clerk seemed experienced.
"Can you recommend something that will remind me of
birthdays and anniversaries?" I asked.
"Have you tried a wife?" he replied.

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Todays Thought:  "If there is such a thing as good leadership, it is to give a good example."


Rae's trivia:  The Day the Music Died (1959).....                 

During an extensive tour of the midwestern US, American rock-and-roll musician Buddy Holly chartered a small plane to transport him to his next gig.
Fellow performers Richie Valens and J.P. Richardson, who was known as "The Big Bopper," filled the remaining seats.
Tragically, the plane crashed, killing everyone on board.
The event was later called "the day the music died" by Don McLean in his song "American Pie."

 
 

Good Morning...Friends.

We never got any of the big storm that came through the US..

I hope our friends in Australia are Okay...

They got hit with a Cat. 5 Cyclone...

We haven't heard from them for a couple days...

Partly Sunny and 47º for us today..

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This was yesterday morning....

And got up to 60º

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I guess this is how you fry your lunch meat,

when you run out of gas ¿¿

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What kinda eggs are these?

Bad eggs I guess...

That third one from the left looks like Petewete....

Just saying.......

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If''n you wanna eat...you better get up....

I need the bowl.........

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Don't mess wif the Duck, or you will be sorry...

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Well, old "Phil" did not see his shadow yesterday..

So we're supposed to have a early spring.....

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Damn, you look cold...Bubba!!

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These guy's would feel right at home in the mid west.

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Got to be more careful, Skippy!

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I bet that would give someone a heart attack....

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Now if I can pick out my ride, I'll leave now....

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♥♥♥

~~ Whats the difference between a US mile and a British mile?

A strip mall, a Walmart and about six drive-thru McDonalds .

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~~ Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake,
sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one.
On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and
ordered four catfish.
He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and
throw them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."
"But why?"
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if
you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy.
She prefers that for supper tonight."

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~~ Two detectives were investigating the murder of
Juan Gonzalez.
"It's clear," said one detective.
"The murderer used a golf gun."
The other detective looked puzzled.
"A golf gun?! What's a golf gun?"
"I'm not sure, but he made a hole in Juan!"

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~~ "It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have
the time.
" (Tallulah Bankhead)

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~~ "Chow looks wonderful," I told the mess sergeant,
a large, intimidating man.
"I'd love seconds."
"You'll get the same as everyone else," he growled as he chucked
food on my tray.
"Now move it!"
After finishing the edible portion of my meal, I dumped the rest in
the garbage, accidentally tossing out my silverware.
While leaning into the trash can to look for my knife and fork,
I felt a tap on my shoulder.
It was the mess sergeant.
"It's all right, son," he said.
"You can grab seconds."

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~~ A wife and husband both talked in their sleep.
She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.
The other night, during a deep sleep, the man yelled,
"Fore!"
His wife, also in a deep sleep and not missing a beat,
yelled back, "Four fifty!"

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~~ It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just
locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
"Please let me in," says the man desperately.
"I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't
come home with one."
"Okay," says the butcher.
"Let me see what I have left."
He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one
scrawny turkey left.
He brings it out to show the man.
"That's one is too skinny.
What else you got?" says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a
few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better.
You better give me both of them!"

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~~ Two kids are on their way to Sunday school when one
says to the other, "What do you think about this Satan stuff?"
"Well, you remember Santa?
This could turn out to be your dad too."


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~~ Piano lessons were beginning again after the holiday break.
The youngest of my students, about six years old, came into the
music room.
"I didn't practise that much," she announced matter-of- factly.
"My mom forgot all about it."

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~~ A real-estate agent was driving around with a new
trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse
with a hand-lettered "For Sale" sign out front.
After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the
startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room,
opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets, and
pointing out where a "new light fixture here and a little
paint there" would help.
Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful
that the owner would offer her the listing.
"Ma'am," the man said, "I appreciate the
home-improvement tips and all, but I think you read my
sign wrong. It says, 'HORSE for sale.'"

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~~ Woman complaining about her husband to a friend...
"He'll never go where he's told until he dies."

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Todays Thought:  "Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, get better answers." - Anthony Robbins

Rae's Trivia...  How did ancient Incans get married?

In the marriage ceremony of the ancient Incas,
the couple was considered officially wed when they took off their sandals and handed them to each other.

 
 

                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~(O)~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning...everyone...

I can't believe the weather...

rain this morning, then warm and windy this afternoon.

I have 40º now, but they say 60º this afternoon..

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Carol..as soon as I open my door in the morning,

"Sadie" takes over....

She wants to be boss....

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The fishies are ready for breakfast in the

Froggy pond....

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He wants the real thing.....

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Now, we're talking....I'm ready for a couple...

Petewete...want a couple¿

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This guy looks like he's had too many hot dogs already...

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This guy is smelling them hot dogs....

Lookin for a way in...

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Staring each other down.....

Who will win..¿¿

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I guess there learn about them mouses...

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Don't seem right... But I guss you shouldn't take a parking space.
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Eno, gets me to laffing...

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Well, my rides here...See you tomorrow...

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♥♥♥

~~ Sherry said:Recently, my husband put his car in reverse and

accidentally drove it into a wall.
He took it to his mechanic, who replaced the dented bumper.
A few days later, he did it again.
"I'm so embarrassed," he moaned, reaching for the phone.
"Why not tell him it was me this time?" I suggested.
"Maybe I will," he said while dialing.
"It worked the last time."

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~~ What lies on the ground 100ft in the air?
A dead Centipede.

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~~ How do you know if an Irishman is present at a cock
fight?
He's the one that enters a Duck.
How do you know if a Polack is present at a cock fight?
He's the one that bets money on a duck.
How do you know if an Italian is present at a cock fight?
The Duck wins.

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~~ Why do they always get pissed
when I order a ham sammich at the Mid-Eastern Deli?

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~~ During a shortage of eligible men, a bear, a pig and a
rabbit are called up for national service.
While waiting for the medical examinations, they all admit
they're terrified of being killed.
‘I'm ungainly and pink,’ says the pig, truthfully.
‘The enemy will see me a mile off – so I decided to chop
my tail off.
’ The rabbit nods sagely – and the bear realizes the bunny's
ears have been removed.
‘I just hope it works,’ says the rabbit.
Mystified, the bear watches as both animals enter the
examination room – then return, smiling.
‘We're free to go,’ says the rabbit.
‘They said a rabbit without ears is not a proper rabbit,
and a pig without a curly tail is not a proper pig!’
He's about to leave with the pig when the bear pipes up.
‘Hang on a minute!’ he cries.
‘I'm massive and slow – I'd not last a day.’
The other two look at the bear.
‘Well,’ says the rabbit, ‘Your sharp teeth could be useful in
combat.
You might want them removed …’ Nodding miserably,
the bear lies down – and the other animals start kicking his
fangs out.
Eventually the dazed bear, blood pouring from his mouth,
stumbles through the door.
A moment later he returns.
‘Did you get let off?’ says the pig.
‘Yesh,’ splutters the bear....... ‘Apparently I'm too fat.’

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~~ Today, I was amazed when I found out the hard way
how police now stop criminals.
I was stunned.

☼

~~ Two life-long friends were enjoying
a few beers down their local bar, when one said to the other,
"If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me
honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "Fire away."
"Well," said the first guy, "Why do you think all the guys
around here find my wife so attractive?"
"It's probably because of her speech impediment,"
replied the second guy.
"What do you mean her speech impediment?"
inquired the first fellow, "My wife doesn't have a speech
impediment!"
"Well," replied his friend, "You must be the only guy who
hasn't noticed that she can't say NO!"

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~~ I had to take my pet lizard to the vet........
He had a Reptile dis function.

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~~ A first-grader came to the ophthalmology office where
I work to have his vision checked.
He sat down and I turned off the lights.
Then I switched on a projector that flashed the letters
F, Z, and B on a screen.
I asked the boy what he saw.
Without hesitation he replied, "Consonants"

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~~ Customer to Waiter...
"Waiter!, What's this fly doing in my soup?"
"It appears to be doing the back stroke sir."

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~~ Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money
for a cup of coffee.
How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of
cost today.
Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup.

How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty
cup today !!!

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Todays Thought:  "Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better person."

Raes Trivia:  Golf legend Ben Hogan (1912-1997), told he might never walk again after shattering his legs in a car accident in 1949 (his car was hit by a Greyhound bus),
struggled back... and won six of his nine major championships after the accident.

                ==================^ÿ^================

Good Morning, Friends....

We are going to have Rain and thunder storms to night,

no snow for us, only rain called for so far..and in the 50's.

But you know how the weather can change.

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Pete,I was ready to travel, if you needed me to shovel

you out.....of the ice...

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The cat knows how to get breakfast....

Mine just set at the back steps, waiting to be

served...

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Carol's latest Painting.....

Golly, I got some Talented friends...

Great one Carol.....

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Oh, No.... another one wanting breakfast....

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Don't worry... it's on its way, for most of the country.

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Oh, No... not that...

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I take it you don't like baths.....

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Just because you don't like to get wet...

you didn't have to draw blood!!

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What can I say¿¿

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Well, gotta go...Granny's calling me...

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♥♥♥

~~ For the Lady called "Froggy"....

A forthright connoisseur of culture, whose increasing
years had made her increasingly frank,
was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly
opened gallery.
Suddenly, one contemporary painting caught her eye.
"What on earth," she inquired of the artist standing nearby,
"is that?"
He smiled condescendingly.
"That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a Frog."
"Well, then," snapped the woman in reply, "Why isn't it?"

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~~ A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess hall read:
"Don't Waste Food...Food Will Win the War."
Beneath these words someone had scrawled:
"That's fine, but how do we get the enemy to eat here?"

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~~ Did you hear about the big winner on "Jeopardy!"?
He went home the next day and his wife said,
"Who were those women I saw you outwit last night?"

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~~ In every class there may be one student who wants to
argue with everything the professor says.
The professor may want to silence him immediately.
But he should think twice about that,
for that may be the only student in the whole class who's
listening to him.

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~~ "Somehow, I have to convince my mother and father
to spend more time learning about the Internet,"
a teenage boy remarked glumly to an amused friend.
"You're not going to believe this, but last night I was
grounded for using the work "blogging" in front of my
mother!"

☼

~~ A candidate for an opening at a public relations firm
got the position with his answer when asked,
"What makes you the right person for this job?
His response was, "Some men are born great,
some achieve greatness.
As for the rest, I will thrust greatness upon them."

☼

~~ Why can't blonds double recipes?
The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

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~~ Daily News Headlines Worth a Second Look....
*Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
*Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
*Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
*Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
*Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
*Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
*Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
*Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
*Miners Refuse to Work after Death
*Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
*Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
*Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
*Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
*Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

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~~ I've been unable to get the letters A E I O and U out
of my head.
I think I've got Irritable Vowel Syndrome.

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~~ A man patted his daughter's hand fondly, and told her,

"Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride,
and I gave my consent."
"Oh, Daddy," gushed the daughter,
"it's going to be so hard leaving Mummy."
"I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed the man.
"Take her with you!"

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Todays thought:  "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where

there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Rae's Trivia.. London Alderman Sir William Cooper (1599-1664) once attended a banquet hosted by the London Clothworkers' Company.
Having liberally indulged himself in brandy,
he returned home...and immediately dropped dead.
The Clothworkers, accused by his distraught wife of having
killed her husband with their toxic brandy,
must have been overjoyed to receive, upon her death,
an endowment...to be used to replace their noxious brandy
with more salubrious gin.
To this day, at the Clothworkers' feasts brandy and gin are
offered with the words,....
"Do you dine with Alderman or Lady Cooper?"

                             

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