Good Morning, Friends.....

In the 40's today.....now 21º...

Will be in the 30's later in the week...

Can you believe the lottery's up to $330 million?

What could I do with that??

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What are you-all doing in my car??

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Huh??

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I thought I heard music.......

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Did the music wake you??

Bad wasn't it.......

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No playing in the paper.....

And your the one that shreds the paper.....

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I guess the music woke the baby up......

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What can I say...??

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I wouldn't get any-were near them....

I don't like snakes......

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Okay..Put your booties on so when you step in

that snake chit you will keep your feet clean..

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Don't forget.....

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Time for me to leave........

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♥♥♥

~~ There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver.

One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him
some money!
Now his dream could be realized!
He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a
large red "S" on it.
When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why
he had painted the big red "S" on the car?
Simple, the snail replied when people see my car go
zooming down the, track I want them all to exclaim:
Oh look!! See the S car go!!!!!!!!!!!!

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~~ A man goes to a bar with his dog.
He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!"
The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye
dog."
"Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first
one's on me."
The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua.
The first guys sees him, stops him and says
"You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a
seeing-eye dog."
The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues
to the bar.
He asks for a drink.
The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bartender says, "No, I don't think so.
They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."
The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?!
They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

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~~ I found out why brother-in-law was so opposed to
foodstamps.......
He kept getting paper cuts on his tongue.

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~~ A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and
mother-in-law.
One evening, while still deep in the jungle,
the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone.
Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to
find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and
started to look for her.
In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling
sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick,
impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said: "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing, the lion got himself into this mess,
let him get himself out of it."

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~~ The British had an organization that Americans are now
considering adopting.
It seems that in England, they had a men's club....
'Bachelors' Anonymous'.
It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate
marriage.
The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of
bachelors wanting to marry.
They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers,
and a mud pack.

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~~ Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother,
an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up.
She put my father and brother to work cleaning the dining room.
Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the
once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly.
Then she saw the note on the door.
It read, "Thank you for not looking in the closet."

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~~ A professor asked a student to remain for a few moments
after class.
Holding out the young man's assignment, the professor said,
"Did you write this poem all by yourself?"
The student said, "Every word of it."
The professor said, "Well, then, I'm glad to meet you,
Mr. Whitman.
I thought you were long dead."

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~~ Going over our church finances I found a receipt from a
local paint store signed by someone named Christian.
I wasn't aware of anyone buying paint, so I called the store
to point out its mistake.
"I'm sorry," I told the manager, "but there are no Christians
here at First Baptist Church."

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~~ One day the legendary banker Amadeo Peter Giannini
(whose Bank of America National Trust and Savings
Association weathered the Depression and become the
largest privately owned bank in the world) asked a
distinguished looking gray-haired gentleman to get him a taxi.
When the man dutifully obliged, Giannini gave him a quarter.
The recipient, clearly embarrassed, explained that he was the
head of the Los Angeles Bank of America.
Giannini duly apologized, took back the quarter,
and gave him a dollar.

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Todays Thought:  Confucius Say...Even a fish can escape being caught, if it keeps its mouth shut.

Good Morning, Friends and Neighbors....

27º degrees now, but gonna be sunny and 46º today....

Everyone have a good Holiday?

Time to go back to work....

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This was the sunrise the other day...

Pretty isn't it...

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This was yesterday morning,  an overcast day....

looked like it was raining on the mountains....

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Looks just like you....

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Sounds like a movie??

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You gotta get lower than that......

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So, that's were my drink went.....

I knew something was wrong.....

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Not everyone....Bubba!

Just the wine-o's

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Your gonna have to hold it for a bit.......

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Yeah, you just listen to that cat.......

he'll fix you up....

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Well, I gotta go....my bus is here.....

(I'd hate to drive this thing..)

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♥♥♥

~~ My marriage brought with it four adult stepchildren

(only one of whom I met before the wedding) and a cat.
Soon after our honeymoon, my husband and I invited the
children to our house for a get-to-know-you dinner.
I was nervous and wanted to impress the kids with my
ability to take care of their father and his cat.
The house was neat and tidy, and I had cooked a lovely dinner.
We greeted the kids with hugs, but they paid as much
attention to the cat as to me.
Wanting them to know my regard for the cat, I blurted out,
"I've never lived with an animal before I married your father."

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~~ Why do they have ear piercing while you wait?
Is there some shop where you can drop them off and pick
them up later?

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~~ A former radiologist from Northern Ireland working at the
Royal Belfast hospital tells the story that years ago,
kitted up in leaden apron and gloves, he was conducting a
radiographic examination of a woman's abdomen.
Finding that her clothing was causing some opacity on the
fluorescent screen, he remarked,
'Would you pull down your knickers, please?'
The patient did nothing so he repeated the request.
He then heard her say, 'I'm so sorry, doctor.
I thought you were talking to the nurse.'

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~~ The state trooper is driving down the highway when
he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of his truck
with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck several times,
and then drive away.
Two miles down the road he does the same thing.
Another two miles, same thing.
The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the truck driver
to explain.
And the driver says, "The load limit is ten tons, and I'm
carrying fifteen tons of parakeets,
so I've go to keep some of them flying around."
( Now this is BAD.)

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~~ Those who say it can't be done, are usually interrupted
by others doing it.

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~~ A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed
he had done for the day.
"Well," said the scout, "Mom had only one dose of castor
oil left, so I let my baby brother have it."

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~~ Q: What happened to the cow that was lifted into the
air by the tornado?
A: Udder disaster!

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~~ A STUDENT'S ANSWER...
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made
safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large pollutants like grit, sand, dead animals and canoeists.

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~~ An organization is like a tree full of monkeys...
all on different limbs... at different levels...some climbing up.
The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of
smiling faces.
The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but
assholes

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Todays Thought:   "Death is not a period but a comma in the story of life."

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Good Morning..Everyone... I don't know what happened,
We didn't get any rain... and I'm reading 56º degrees now....
going to be in the 40's today and 20's tonight.
Yo-Yo weather......
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I was thinking we were going to have rain,

as red as the sunrise was yesterday morning...

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You look so cute....

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Why me, why me all the time??

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Some things don't work , do they?

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What do you mean, it don't work.....

Petewete told me it would.....

No wonder my TV wouldn't work.....

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Take that, for lying to me.....

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See what you gotta put up with....

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Looks like he could just fall asleep anywere....

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Thanks, I did.... but you don't look happy...

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Run, Bubba Run, while you can.....

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I'm gone on this one.....

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♥♥♥

~~ Don't panic.. I'm in the hospital!

I ate what I thought was onion but it was a daffodil bulb....
Doctors say I'll be out in the Spring!!

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~~ An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to
the first house in his new territory.
He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door
and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs
inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders
cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says,
"You want ketchup on that?"
The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"
She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity
turned on yet."

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~~ There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with
orange, the color of pumpkin.

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~~ "A company in Pennsylvania made an armband
that monitors your physical activity, counts how many
calories you've burned, and then sends that information
to your iPhone.
That's gotta be a little depressing.
'Oh, I got a call. No, I'm just fat.'"

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~~ The proper means of increasing the love we bear
our native country is to reside some time in a foreign one.

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~~ After a car crash one of the drivers is lying injured at the
side of the road.
'Don't worry,' said a policeman, a Red Cross nurse is coming
to attend to you.'
Oh no,' groaned the victim, 'couldn't I have a blonde,
cheerful one?'

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~~ I'm the only man who has a marriage license made
out To Whom It May Concern. - Mickey Rooney -

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~~ History Teacher: "Why was George Washington standing
in the bow of the boat as the army crossed the Delaware?"
Student: "Because he knew if he sat down,
he would have to row."


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~~ When it comes to romance, who's smarter,
women or men?
The writer Erica Jong had a clear answer to that important
question.
"You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women,"
she said.
"But you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

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~~ A politician is a person who divides his time
between running for office and running for cover.

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Todays Thought:  Laughter is a smile with the volume turned up.

# 1164 Happy New Year.....

Well, here is a new Year..... I hope every one has a great one!!
I also hope mine is better then last year....
Going to be a heat wave today.....59º degrees,
some showers......I got 34º this morning.......
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I guess Santa, frosty and all the other things can be put away....

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Getting ready for breakfast.....

Farm up the road....

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Right...you can come out....scardy dog....

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Biker pup??

You don't look bad........

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Lets see your money, first.......

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I don't see any body??

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Some thing is wrong here.......

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Oh, No....your in a heap of trouble.......

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What!! can't you drive??

You gotta keep it in the road....

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Why dogs can't play Poker......

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~~ "Daddy, you'll love my new boyfriend.

He's no nice and polite."
"But does he have any money?"
" Honestly, you men are all alike.
He asked me the same question about you!"

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~~ Doctors just found a gene for shyness.
They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind a
couple of other genes.

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~~ My 17-year-old niece was looking for a job,
so her mother scoured the want ads with her.
"Here's one.
A couple are looking for someone to watch their two kids and
do light housekeeping."
"Hel-looo!" said my niece, rolling her eyes.
"I can't take that job. I don't know anything about lighthouses."

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~~ Parents should stop worrying about what Junior will do
when he grows up, better go see what he is up to now.

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~~ Cats have very sophisticated emotional lives and
enormous willpower.
When they want something, they're capable of devising all
sorts of subtle or direct strategies to get your attention,
which can range from simply staring...to sitting on top of the
book you're reading.

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~~ I often wonder about people who live in tropical
destinations.
What do their screen savers look like?

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~~ In the morning the day after I was married, the phone rang.
"Reverse charges call from Jackie," said the operator.
"Will you accept the charges?"
I couldn't think of anyone that I knew who was called Jackie;
so I said no and hung up.
A moment later, the phone rang again.
"Hi, Madeline, it's Jackie", said a familiar voice,
"your mother-in-law."

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~~ One lab mouse to another: I’ve trained that crazy human
at last.
How have you done that?
I don’t know how, but every time I run through that maze and
ring the bell, he gives me a piece of cheese.

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~~ "Youth is like spring, an over-praised season more
remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes.
Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers
we more than gain in fruits." (Samuel Butler)

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~~ One night a father was helping his son with his homework.
The father asked, "What is the Gross National Product?".
The little boy pondered for a minute and replied "Spinach,
Broccoli and Green Beans."

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~~ People who think onions are the only vegetable that

makes you cry, obviously haven't been slapped around
the face with a parsnip :)

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~~ I just heard from a friend in Waynesboro.
He says it has been snowing heavily for three days now.
His wife has done nothing but stare through the window.
If it doesn't stop soon he’ll probably have to let her in.

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Todays thought:  "For last year's words belong to last year's language.

And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning."

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