Good Morning, Friends and other readers.....
Well, did everyone have a great Easter?
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Well, their on their way...took off this morning......

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So that's were my links went......

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I want it, I want it......give me....

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Not funny, Bubba!

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Ya didn't cook it enough....

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Cought that mouse......

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A crater, 130 feet deep, opened up in Bernburg, Germany,
when an abandoned salt mine collapsed recently.
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He wants to dig a bigger hole??

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Buddha's Hand: This has to be one of the strangest looking fruits that

you can buy at the supermarket.
It's also one of the most useless when it comes to conventional usage —
this member of the citrus family has no pulp or juices; it's all skin and pith.
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Well, I guess I better go after this one.....

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♥♥♥

~~ an old man is visiting with his son at the nursing home.

He starts to lean to the left, and a nurse promptly sits him upright.
This continues for the rest of the visit, when the son asks if he'll need
anything before he leaves.
The old man responds, if you could distract the nurse for a moment,
I've had to fart for the last 2 hours.

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~~ Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.

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~~Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large
research staff to study the problem.

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~~ The guy noticed the student walking up and down the street,
wearing a sandwich board that read "Free Big Mac!"
Strolling over with a look of concern, the guy asked,
"Why?.... What'd he do?"

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~~ Ian went to see his personnel manager.
"Could I please have this Friday off so that I can have a long weekend?"
"Why"
"Because my wife is expecting a baby." Ian replied.
"But of course you can, Ian." came the reply. "Why didn't you say so in the first place? When is the event due?"
"About nine months after I get home."

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~~ On vacation in Florida, the kids spent most of the time in the pool.
After a few days,they began to look for ways to irritate each other.
When two-year-old Jacob started to get in the pool with his sisters,
they told him, "No! There's a shark in here!"
Jacob pulled back from the water.
Confused, he looked around and then tried to get in again,
only to hear the same warning.
This went on for a while, and Jacob,finally gave up.
As he walked past my chair, I heard him mutter, "Get'em Shark."

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~~ Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel
when they stopped at a small town.
Bin Laden gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's
butt, just then a guy comes over and says, "What are you doing?"
Osama replies, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey,
look at the two assholes on that camel."

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~~ My son Timothy was his brother's best man.
To commemorate the event, Daniel bought him a silver mug,
but the engraver made a slight mistake.
The mug read "Best man once, a bother forever."

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~~ The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted
island.
Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller
vessel pulling out toward him.
When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed
the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him,
"The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want
to be rescued."

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~~ What's the most successful pick up line ever?
Does this smell like chloroform?
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Todays Thought:  If I don't respect the garbage collector,

I should remember who made the garbage.

(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)♥(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)

Good Morning...Readers....A great Easter Morning...
Don't eat too many eggs......
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Yep......

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Why are you hollering??

we're not deaf.....

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Sadie sez; Let that rabbet come here.....

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This rabbet looks weird.....don't ya think?

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So, this how it happens......

See, Pete, I told ya so.....

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This is what happens when you eat to many Easter eggs..

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Okay...now some Easter toons...

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♥♥♥
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~~ What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?

Join the Hare Force.

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~~ Why the Easter Bunny Brings Eggs.....
10. Big tax write-off.
9. Who ever heard of Easter Bricks?
8. Consider all of the varieties: scrambled, over easy, hard boiled.
7. He gets a good deal from the local chickens.
6. Secret plan to eliminate human race by cholesterol overdose.
5. Pressure from the Egg Marketing Board.
4. Because if it brought bottle rockets it would be the Independence Bunny.
3. Would you want to hunt for waffles?
2. He thinks guys should get chicks at least once a year.
1. Because the Energizer rabbit got the good job.

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~~ What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion?
A bunion

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~~ The Rules of Chocolate....
* Chocolate is a health food.
Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables.
And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy.
So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily
vegetable and dairy intake.

* If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.
Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate
to protect themselves.

* Money talks. Chocolate sings.

* Chocolate has many preservatives.

Preservatives make you look younger.

* Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because no one wants to quit.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

HAPPY EASTER !!!

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~~ Do you know how to find the Easter bunny if he was lost?
Make a noise like a carrot; he'll find you.

♥
~~ My five year old ran into some difficulty while trying to put on his
full-body pajamas.
"Jesus" I overheard him say, "will you help me get these pajama legs on?"
A few silent seconds later he repeated more loudly, "Jesus,
I said will you help me get these pajama legs on?"
After another brief silence, he said, "That's it!....
I'm telling your father!"

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~~ Mark loses his rare and valuable dog and advertises in the
newspaper offering a very generous $1,000 reward for its return.
After a few days of no replies, he goes to the newspaper for some
information.
He says to the receptionist, "I'd like to see Jim, the advertising manager,
please.
"I'm sorry sir, but he's out," says the receptionist.
"Ok, so how about his secretary?"
"She's out too sir.
In fact everyone from his department is out."
"Oh dear me" says Mark, "where is everybody?"
"They're all out looking for your dog."

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~~ The clerk at the post office asked a customer if she would like
to insure her package.
"That won't be necessary," said the customer,
"Because the contents are not breakable."
The clerk was not so sure.
"Madam," he explained, "we're professionals here.
We can break anything!"

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~~ Unfortunately, there has been a terrible accident at the nuclear
energy plant and three leading nuclear physicists are very badly
contaminated.
After a specialist has seen them, he declares that the are all dying
and none is likely to survive the night Each is quickly asked for their
dying wish.
"What would you like Pierre?"
Pierre replies, "I would like to meet the President and be awarded the
Legion of Honor for my contribution to new energy sources."
"What would you like John?"
John replies, "I would like to meet the Queen and be knighted for my
services to the company."
"And what would you like, Moshe" Moshe replies,
"I would like a second opinion."

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~~ The school principal was often amused by classroom comments
he overheard.
His favorite came from a math student who complained,
"I still don't understand how you can do fifty miles an hour if you drive
for only ten minutes."

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~~ Bluegrass: The result of accidentally rolling over a smurf picnic
with your lawnmower.
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Todays Thought:  Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.
♥

(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)♥(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors...Another great day.
A little windy, but good.
Are you ready for tomorrow?
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Flowers are blooming......arn't these beautiful?

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Tulips blooming, but they need some work....

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He's watching my flowers...making sure no pickers....

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If that's not enough, the ninja cat will get you....

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Yep, it's nap time....

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Oh...my.. I think you didn't stop fast enough...I guess you were texting..

Redneck dog house......

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Happy Easter...Australia...

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Ouch.....ouch!

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Yep...there gone....

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Good for you, Max

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♥♥♥

~~ I'd recently been flirting with the idea of opening a little bed and

breakfast in a small town in R-ville to keep me busy during my retirement
years.
I happily shared my plans with my friend, Pete, who immediately gave
me a dose of reality by saying,
"You don't cook!
What are you going to have, a "Bed and Pop - Tart?"

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~~ One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that
you end up being governed by your inferiors.

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~~ Junior was being chided for his low grades.
Little Robert, who lived a few doors away, was help up as an example.
"Robert doesn't get C's and D's does he?" asked his father.
"No" Junior admitted, "But he's different.......
He has very bright parents."

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~~ "How long have you been working here?" one employee said to
another.
"Ever since the boss threatened to fire me."

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~~ The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on
emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor,
"Mr. Nichols: What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?" "Elation."
"How about the opposite of woe, Mr. Wilson?"
"I believe that's giddyup," the student replied.

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~~ A priest and a rabbi arrived at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said:
"Can I help you, gentlemen?"
"I hope so," said the priest. Father Feherty and Rabbi Michaels, we've
just died and we would like to be welcomed into Heaven."
St. Peter studied his clipboard for their names.
"I'm afraid not," he said.
"You're not on my entry list."
"But we must be," they chorused.
"We're pillars of our respective faiths."
St. Peter scratched his head.
"I'll tell you what I'll do: I'll send you down to Hell for the time being
and if Satan is happy to transfer you up here, I'll accept you into Heaven.
So St Peter sent them on their way, chuckling to himself because he
knew full well that Satan never lets anyone go to Heaven.
But fifteen minutes later, the priest reappeared at the Pearly Gates.
"I don't believe it!" said St. Peter....... "Satan let you come back?"
"Yes," said the priest.
"He was in a good mood and said that for twenty bucks each we could
escape from Hell and enjoy an eternal afterlife in Heaven."
"So where is the rabbi?" inquired St. Peter.
"I don't know," said the priest.
"But when I left he had got Satan down to $19.50."

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~~ The price of a stamp is going up to 44 cents.
It's out of control.
If only there was some other way to send written messages...
if anyone can think of anything just e-mail me."


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~~ A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule.
"Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers.
"You owe me $1000 down and $417.58 cents each month for the
next thirty-six months.
"What! That sounds like a car payment schedule," retorted the client.
"Your right. It's mine."

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~~ On a hot summer afternoon, a beautiful young woman came across
a secluded pool, largely hidden from view by a row of bushes.
After checking that nobody was around, she took off all her clothes,
but just as she was about to jump in, a man appeared from behind the
bushes.
"I've been watching you!" he yelled, "this is private farm land, and I'm
the owner.
Swimming is this pool is strictly prohibited."
"You could have told me that before I undressed!" she said.
The farmer replied: "Swimming is prohibited; undressing isn't."

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~~ As president of the United States, Herbert Hoover was obligated to
attend a lot of state dinners and listen to many after-dinner speakers.
His main complaint: They talked too long.
Hoover came up with a clever way to get a boring orator to cut his
speech short and sit down.
He'd pass over a note telling the speaker, "Your fly is open."
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Todays Thought:  We are like snowflakes. Alone, we are insignificant.

<>(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)♣(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)<>

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors....Ready for Easter Weekend....
Going to be great one.. But some friends still have snow.....
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A great Sunrise this morning.....52ºf

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Pear trees blooming......

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A real cutie....

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Oh, my.....No,No......

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He's watching you....

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He don't like the Easter, but I bet he loves the Chocie's

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Oh No,... not Santa......

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A 1948 Buick Streamliner , a neat looking car..

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Now this one sucks........

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Now I don't know about this guy.....

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I'll take my beer and go home after that last pic....

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♥♥♥
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~~ Pete.....None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors.

The records do not show that Adam and Eve were married.

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~~ Q: When do cannibals leave the table?
A: When everyone's eaten.

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~~ There was a congregation that was asked for money so often they i
nsisted their pastor refer to them not as the flock but as the fleeced.

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~~ Miriam has never been on a cruise before.
One day, she meets her friend Lucy and they stop for a chat.
"So where are you and Sam going for your holidays this year?" asks Lucy.
"I'd like to try out a cruise, Lucy," replies Miriam, "but I'm not sure
whether Sam and I would enjoy ourselves.
We're almost 70 now and Sam thinks cruising is for younger people.
"No, you're wrong in thinking that, Miriam," replies Lucy.
"Most cruise ships have special design features just for senior citizens."
"So give me an example, please," says Miriam.
"Well...OK," replies Lucy, "They have bifocal portholes."

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~~ There was the college that had the reputation of being a fountain
of knowledge where everyone went to drink.

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~~ One day, just as Rachel is walking past an exclusive fashion store,
she sees people putting a new dress in their window.
It stops her in her tracks, it's a pale-green Dior evening dress and she's
totally entranced by this brilliant creation.
She's convinced it's fate, it was meant for her.
But it's very expensive and she has to think of a good way to persuade
her Harry to buy it for her.
Then she has an idea.
She can't wait to get home.
"Harry, darling?"
"Yes, what is it Rachel"
" Last night I had a lovely dream, Harry," she says.
"So what kind of a dream was it, Rachel?" he asks.
"I dreamed that we passed a store, and in the window was this
gorgeous Dior dress at a very reasonable price.
And do you know what you did, Harry?
"No, so what did I do?" he asks.
"You went into the shop and bought it for me, darling."
"Did I really?" Harry says.
"That really was a wonderful dream. Please Rachel, in all your future
dreams, you should wear it in good health."

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~~ Serenade of a wolf in sheep's clothing: "Ewe, tell me your dream
and I'll tell you mine."

☺
~~ I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts
in modern education - show and tell.
Show and tell is a device created by grammar schools to communicate
family secrets to thirty-two other families all before 9:15 in the morning!

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~~ A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and
brought her a cup of coffee.
He made it himself and was so proud.
He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee.
The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee,
and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little
green army guys in the bottom of the cup.
She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the
bottom of my cup?"
Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV,
'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'

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~~ To make myself appear more sophisticated for my new job,
teaching Grade 1, I put my hair up in a braid.
On the first day of class, I was writing the morning message on the
board when the first student arrived.
"Your hair looks great." she said.
When I turned to thank her, she added, "...from the back!"
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Todays Thought:  To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate
a menace to society.
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◄(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)▲(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)►

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors......
Don't get fooled......
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A tea party??

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Growl, look at me, I'm mean......

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You just think your mean.....

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Now here is mean, and he's got his dinner.......

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Redneck wipers...what can you say.....

LIME??

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Now thats a bad place to park.....

What your step on this side

it's a killer!

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I'm going on this post......

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♥♥♥

                                                                                                                                                                                  ~~ I went to the doctors with a jelly stuck in one ear and custard in the

other.
The doctor asked, 'what seems to be the problem?'
I said 'you have to speak up, I'm a trifle deaf.'

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~~ It's a know fact that suicide bombers are mostly first timers.
You'd think their handlers would go for more experience.

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~~ A devastated-looking man knocks on the door of a woman known
for her charity.
"Please, ma'am," he says when she opens up, "can you help this poor,
tragic family down the block?
The father just lost his job, and his wife is too ill to work.
They're about to be turned out into the cold streets unless someone
can pay their rent."
"That's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life!" says the woman.
"May I ask who you are?"
"Their landlord."

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~~ Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: From your backside, I thought you were repulsive.
However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.

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~~ Humor In Uniform....
"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once." — Maritime Ops Manual
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." — Unknown Marine Recruit
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

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~~ went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything
for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.

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~~ A priest and pastor from the local parishes were standing by the
side of the road holding up a sign that read,
"The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"
They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.
As the first driver sped past, he yelled, "Leave us alone...
we don't believe in that religious stuff!"
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
One clergyman said to the other, "Do you think we should just put up
a sign that says, 'Bridge Out' instead?"


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~~ Three guys are talking about what constitutes fame.
The first guy defines it as being invited to the White House for a chat
with the president.
"Nah" says the second guy.
"Real fame would be if the red phone rang when you were there and
the president wouldn't take the call."
"You're both wrong," says the third, "Fame is when you're in the Oval
Office and the red phone rings, the president answers it,
listens for a second, and then says, "It's for you."


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~~ 'I was standing at a party the other night and across the room was
an attractive woman.
She said her name was Barbara......
I looked at her and cocked my eye.
She looked at me and cocked her eye back.
And there we stood, cock-eyed.

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Todays Thought:  Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.

◄(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)▼(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)►