Don't get fooled......
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A tea party??
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Growl, look at me, I'm mean......
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You just think your mean.....
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Now here is mean, and he's got his dinner.......
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Redneck wipers...what can you say.....
LIME??
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Now thats a bad place to park.....
What your step on this side
it's a killer!
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I'm going on this post......
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♥♥♥
~~ I went to the doctors with a jelly stuck in one ear and custard in the
other.
The doctor asked, 'what seems to be the problem?'
I said 'you have to speak up, I'm a trifle deaf.'
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~~ It's a know fact that suicide bombers are mostly first timers.
You'd think their handlers would go for more experience.
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~~ A devastated-looking man knocks on the door of a woman known
for her charity.
"Please, ma'am," he says when she opens up, "can you help this poor,
tragic family down the block?
The father just lost his job, and his wife is too ill to work.
They're about to be turned out into the cold streets unless someone
can pay their rent."
"That's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life!" says the woman.
"May I ask who you are?"
"Their landlord."
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~~ Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: From your backside, I thought you were repulsive.
However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.
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~~ Humor In Uniform....
"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once." — Maritime Ops Manual
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." — Unknown Marine Recruit
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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~~ went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything
for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
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~~ A priest and pastor from the local parishes were standing by the
side of the road holding up a sign that read,
"The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"
They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.
As the first driver sped past, he yelled, "Leave us alone...
we don't believe in that religious stuff!"
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
One clergyman said to the other, "Do you think we should just put up
a sign that says, 'Bridge Out' instead?"
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~~ Three guys are talking about what constitutes fame.
The first guy defines it as being invited to the White House for a chat
with the president.
"Nah" says the second guy.
"Real fame would be if the red phone rang when you were there and
the president wouldn't take the call."
"You're both wrong," says the third, "Fame is when you're in the Oval
Office and the red phone rings, the president answers it,
listens for a second, and then says, "It's for you."
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~~ 'I was standing at a party the other night and across the room was
an attractive woman.
She said her name was Barbara......
I looked at her and cocked my eye.
She looked at me and cocked her eye back.
And there we stood, cock-eyed.
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Todays Thought: Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
◄(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)▼(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)►
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