Down Hummingbird Lane

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Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks,
"Where ya going boy ?"
The son smiled and replied, "I'm a-going courting
Peggy-Sue."
The Father said, "When I went a-courtin', I didn't need me
no dang lantern."
"Sure Pa, I know." the boy said.
"And look what you got !"

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“When the gastroenterologist retired, he threw in the bowel..

 

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I Wake Up With A Good Attitude Every day..
Then Idiots happen.

 

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A tree silently weeping as firemen steal its cat.... Again!

 

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Vacation Elbow (vay kay' shun el' bo) - n.
A condition that suddenly develops in a father's arm
during a vacation trip that allowed him to reach out
and slap you from incredible distances.....

 

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Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking.
The plane's going down.
 Look, stop screaming, that's not going to make me
a better pilot...

 

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Right on, adults who are excited for Halloween.
I too get excited about things meant for kids.
Last week I lost my shit because I saw a frog...
 

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Judge: "You have been found not guilty of bigamy.
You may go home."
Defendant: "Which one?"

 

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Leaving a watermelon on someone's doorstep in the
middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a
portion of their mind forever.

 

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Watching my dad try to scroll through pictures on my
phone is like watching someone trying to pet a bubble.

My fitness instructor keeps asking if I squat.
No Gary.. I rent. I'm not a hobo...

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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out.
He just gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

 

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