☺☺
♥
Chad wasn't too happy with his doctor's recommendation
to cure his constant fatigue.
"You want me to give up sex completely, Doc?" he cried.
"I'm a young guy.
I'm in the prime of my life.
How do you expect me to give up sex and go cold turkey?"
"Well," replied the doctor,
"you could get married and taper off gradually."
to cure his constant fatigue.
"You want me to give up sex completely, Doc?" he cried.
"I'm a young guy.
I'm in the prime of my life.
How do you expect me to give up sex and go cold turkey?"
"Well," replied the doctor,
"you could get married and taper off gradually."
••
I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish.
No.... YOU'VE been drinking.
No.... YOU'VE been drinking.
••
The Secret Service issued new rules of conduct for
agents Friday:
1. You can no longer get drunk..
2. Procure hookers..
3. Frequent GoGos or strip bars.
Addendum: The rules also say that from now on,
if agents feel compelled to engage in such behavior,
they can run for public office like everyone else.....
agents Friday:
1. You can no longer get drunk..
2. Procure hookers..
3. Frequent GoGos or strip bars.
Addendum: The rules also say that from now on,
if agents feel compelled to engage in such behavior,
they can run for public office like everyone else.....
••
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
To say hello from the other side.
••
Chuck Norris doesn't brush his teeth, he scares the
plaque off each morning by snarling in the mirror.
plaque off each morning by snarling in the mirror.
••
Guy Fieri sisters name is Girl Fieri...
••
Ratings................
You say you are buying her a new vehicle...................... +10
..........It's a pickup truck........................................................-5
..........With the license plate GR8 LAY...............................-10
You cook her a meal.............................................................+5
.........It's a packaged meal.....................................................-2
.........It's still in the packet when you serve it.....................-5
You go to buy her panty liners............................................+3
..........In the snow...................................................................+5
..........You return with beer...................................................-10
You check out a suspicious noise at night.......................+2
...........It turns out to be nothing..........................................+1
...........It turns out to be something.....................................+3
...........You pummel it with a six-iron............................ ......+10
...........It turns out to be your pet..........................................-10
At a party, you stay by her side the whole time.................+3
............You leave to chat with a college buddy..................-2
.............Named Amber.............................................................-4
............Amber is an exotic dancer.........................................-6
............Amber has implants....................................................-8
Ratings................
You say you are buying her a new vehicle...................... +10
..........It's a pickup truck........................................................-5
..........With the license plate GR8 LAY...............................-10
You cook her a meal.............................................................+5
.........It's a packaged meal.....................................................-2
.........It's still in the packet when you serve it.....................-5
You go to buy her panty liners............................................+3
..........In the snow...................................................................+5
..........You return with beer...................................................-10
You check out a suspicious noise at night.......................+2
...........It turns out to be nothing..........................................+1
...........It turns out to be something.....................................+3
...........You pummel it with a six-iron............................ ......+10
...........It turns out to be your pet..........................................-10
At a party, you stay by her side the whole time.................+3
............You leave to chat with a college buddy..................-2
.............Named Amber.............................................................-4
............Amber is an exotic dancer.........................................-6
............Amber has implants....................................................-8
••
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
••
Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.
It's not so important to know what it is,
but it's critical to know what it was.
It's not so important to know what it is,
but it's critical to know what it was.
••
I don't really like to brag.
But I'm about 1/2 tough my damn self.
I got Second Place in every damn fight I have ever had...
But I'm about 1/2 tough my damn self.
I got Second Place in every damn fight I have ever had...
••••
