Down Hummingbird Lane

☺☺

 

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♥

How the hell wizards don't set fire to
themselves, I'll never understand;
attempting to make potions and stuff,
with those dangly sleeves.

 

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Adult: If it ain't broke don't fix it..
Child: If it ain't breakable, not interested....

 

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I imagine some people are like...:
'should I take the shower?...
no...I'm taking the train today...'

 

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General Lee didn't have kids?
A parent Lee not.

 

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And suddenly those annoying neighbors that
leave their Christmas lights up all year long
look like geniuses.

 

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Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row,
I thought you would stop inviting me by now.

 

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I used to brag that my dad worked in the food
court.
I thought he was a food lawyer.
Shoulda wondered why a lawyer would wear
a sbarro shirt..

 

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Jobs I'd be shit at:
 -brain surgeon
 -rocket scientist
 -ventriloquist
 -goat herder
 -sober person thingy....

 

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My lighter has two settings:
1: Spark, spark, spark
2: No left eyebrow....... 

 

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 [tour of zoo]
 kid: "i think its a elephant"
 me: "are you giving the tour"
 kid:
 me: "anyway as i was saying this is the
big snake face thing"

 

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I wonder if fewer people would eat Rabbit Stew
if it was instead called Bunny Rabbit Stew....

 

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