☺☺
♥
*brakes hard*
*throws arm across passenger seat to protect pizza*
••
A Dog Asked A Cat: “Why Do You Hide When You
Are Having Sex?”
Cat Replied: “Because We Don’t Want Humans To
Copy Our Style, They’ve Already Copied Yours“
A Dog Asked A Cat: “Why Do You Hide When You
Are Having Sex?”
Cat Replied: “Because We Don’t Want Humans To
Copy Our Style, They’ve Already Copied Yours“
••
The four seasons in Canada: Almost winter, winter,
still winter, and road construction.
still winter, and road construction.
••
You may be Canadian:
If you know more than three guys named Gordon.
If you substitute beer for water when cooking.
If your snowblower has more mileage on it than
your car.
If you have at least 10 recipes for moose meat.
If you know which leaves make good toilet paper.
If the trunk of your car doubles as a freezer.
If you know more than three guys named Gordon.
If you substitute beer for water when cooking.
If your snowblower has more mileage on it than
your car.
If you have at least 10 recipes for moose meat.
If you know which leaves make good toilet paper.
If the trunk of your car doubles as a freezer.
••
Muhammad goes to the doctor
and is given some shocking news that his illness was
incurable and at an advanced stage,
"Ok doctor, give it to me straight, how long
have I got left? " asked Muhammad.
"Well, " he replied, "if you've ever considered being
a suicide bomber, you better do it before Friday.
and is given some shocking news that his illness was
incurable and at an advanced stage,
"Ok doctor, give it to me straight, how long
have I got left? " asked Muhammad.
"Well, " he replied, "if you've ever considered being
a suicide bomber, you better do it before Friday.
••
My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm
worried about the 145 lbs. I've gained.
worried about the 145 lbs. I've gained.
••
I blame our unhappy marriage on my wife mostly
because of her poor choice in men.
because of her poor choice in men.
••
Sue said I should join the Facebook like she did.
Said its good way to get in touch with friends.
Lord, at my age I'd need a Ouija board.....
Sue said I should join the Facebook like she did.
Said its good way to get in touch with friends.
Lord, at my age I'd need a Ouija board.....
••
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100's
of strangers' mouths....
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100's
of strangers' mouths....
••
I SCREAM,
YOU SCREAM,
WE ALL SCREAM BECAUSE MY WIFE IS DRIVING WITHOUT
HER GLASSES ON AGAIN!!
I SCREAM,
YOU SCREAM,
WE ALL SCREAM BECAUSE MY WIFE IS DRIVING WITHOUT
HER GLASSES ON AGAIN!!
••
You might be a reneck if...
You've ever been stuck in your own driveway.
You refer to your dog as the dishwasher.
Your car is made out of 17 others and each part is a different color.
You repair your car in the autoparts store parking lot.
You can name all the characters from the "Dukes of Hazzard".
You recite lines from "The Dukes of Hazzard".
You keep track of all the belt holders in all the wrestling leagues.
You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.
You search your computer monitor for the dial that changes
channels.
Your idea of a fancy dessert is "moon pie ala mode".
You've ever been stuck in your own driveway.
You refer to your dog as the dishwasher.
Your car is made out of 17 others and each part is a different color.
You repair your car in the autoparts store parking lot.
You can name all the characters from the "Dukes of Hazzard".
You recite lines from "The Dukes of Hazzard".
You keep track of all the belt holders in all the wrestling leagues.
You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.
You search your computer monitor for the dial that changes
channels.
Your idea of a fancy dessert is "moon pie ala mode".
••••
