☺☺
♥
turn the lights down low & argue over whose turn it is
to move the Elf on the Shelf....
••
[drive thru]GUY ON INTERCOM: can I help you
ME: yeah are you guys open?
••
*Santa's Google search*
cheap laborcheap labor not kids
magic cheap labor
elf for sale bulk
labor laws by country
north pole group travel..
••
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a new job the next day.
••
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
ears and comes out of the mouth..
••
People without kids who give other people's kids messy or annoying toys..
Imagine that we gave you a monkey with a kazoo and
fingerpaints..
••
I bought this thing for my car.
You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won't
run in front of your car.
I installed it backwards by accident.
Driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me.
Those were the days.
••
"It's one of those new Hoverboards!"
9yr: Mom, this is just 2 Roombas taped together."Don't be silly.
Now go vacuum...I mean play upstairs"
••
A Jehovah’s Witness gave me an advent calendar.
The first door I opened there were two of them standing behind it.
••
My sister told me to "take the spider out" instead of
"kill" it. So we went and had some drinks.
Cool guy.
Wants to be a lawyer..
••••
