••
♥
Yo Momma's so fat.....
that while she's sits on the beach, the lifeguard
comes up to her to say, "Excuse me mamm,
but the tide wants to come in."
••
After years of study, dermatologists have
discovered the leading cause of dry skin........
Towels....
After years of study, dermatologists have
discovered the leading cause of dry skin........
Towels....
••
Is there an easy way to tell your dinner date
she has to order something of equal or lesser
value?
Is there an easy way to tell your dinner date
she has to order something of equal or lesser
value?
••
Yo mama's so fat....
the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.
the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.
••
Yo momma's so dirty -
mice go mud wrestling in her belly button.
mice go mud wrestling in her belly button.
••
I used to play the triangle in a reggae band
but left because it was just one ting after
another.
but left because it was just one ting after
another.
••
[FBI job interview]
"Do you have any self defense training?"
flashback to hiding behind fence from
teenagers.... Yes I'm skilled at fencing.
[FBI job interview]
"Do you have any self defense training?"
flashback to hiding behind fence from
teenagers.... Yes I'm skilled at fencing.
••
In truth, spiders are harmless*
*Save for a few species whose venom
reprograms your immune system to tell your
body to eat its own organs.
*Save for a few species whose venom
reprograms your immune system to tell your
body to eat its own organs.
••
The new sundial I bought is useless.
It doesn't say whether it's a.m. or p.m.
It doesn't say whether it's a.m. or p.m.
••
I farted in the Apple store and everyone
got pissed at me.
Not my fault they don't have Windows.
got pissed at me.
Not my fault they don't have Windows.
••••
