Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

I overdosed on Viagra once…
it was the hardest day of my life.

 

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My mom laughed at me when I said I was going
to build a car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.

 

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"DO NOT TOUCH" would probably be a really
unsettling thing to read in braille.

 

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I just turned my desktop keyboard upside down,
shook it, and a taco salad fell out....
 At least it tasted like a taco salad.

 

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You know you're old when you watch a horror
movie where annoying, partying college kids get
murdered and you identify with the killer.
 

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Customer called to Tech support:
“my computer is not connecting to Internet”
Tech support: “Ok, which operating system are
you using?”
Customer: “Internet explorer”!
Tech support: “No, you just right click on “my
computer” and click on the properties menu”
Customer: “what are you saying, this is not your
computer, it is my computer”!

 

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I haven't verified this, but it sounds legit.
A recent study found that women who carry a
little extra weight live longer than the men who
mention it.
 

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Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job
done.
Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives
you job security.

 

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I'm getting worried…
my boomerang should have been back hours
ago.

 

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