#2890

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There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris'
computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.

 

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At what point does a doctor in training decide
to look up peoples butt holes for a living?
(proctologist)

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puppy, train, and most of all cars are the three
words a 2-year old boy can say.
22 years later, puppy, a train, and cars is all
he wants to talk about.

 

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My uncle died of asbestosis.
It took us three months to cremate him.

 

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The racehorse owner was annoyed with the
running of his horse at the race.
He turned on the jockey.
"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"
"Sure I could have, but you know we're
supposed to stay on the horse."

 

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Yo mama is so fat when she wants her photo
taken she has to call Google Earth.

 

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Me Cleaning the basement.
12yo boy: Let me know if u need help.
13yo girl: Let me know when you're done.
Yep...throwing out HER crap.

 

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Based on how poorly this burrito was wrapped,
I assume it was made by the one person at
Taco Bell that has never rolled a blunt.

 

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Me: *tastefully decorates house*
 Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED
TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN,
 I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY
DISPLAYED ....

 

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