••
♥
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments
posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not
Commit Adultery," and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building
full of lawyers, judges and politicians...
It creates a hostile work environment.
••
What's another term for...
a camper zipped up in a sleeping bag?
A ZOMBIE BURRITO!!!
••
Q: Why are there no televisions in Afghanistan?
A: Because of the Telly-ban!
••
Stone Mountain officials in Georgia just announced they
passed an order to change the Confederate Memorial carving
of Robert E Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Jefferson Davis to
Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian.
••
Following the leak of of Kim Kardashian's
nude pics, her personal assistant has been sacked
for the delay.
••
I just gave my wife a last minute gift for her birthday.
I put the toilet seat down.
••
Preventing childhood obesity
is as easy as taking candy from a baby.
••
I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the
other day.
She was a bouncer.
••
I've been feeling down for so long that I finally
decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
I went there, laid on the couch, spilled my guts
then waited for the profound wisdom of the
psychiatrist to make me feel better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took
some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few
minutes with a puzzled look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of
delight and said, "Ummmmm, I think your
problem is low self-esteem.
It is very common among losers."
••
Motels 1 through 5 must've really been dumps.
••
Seems like most rioting in the world happens in
countries with the least bacon.
••••
