••
♥
A wife asks her husband: "What do you like most
in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looks at her from head to toe and replied:
“I like your sense of humor!”
••
Bubba and Johnny Ray, two good ole boys from
R-ville, were sitting' on the front porch drinking
beer when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of
sod went by.
"I'm gonna do that when I win the lottery,"
said Bubba.
"Do what?" asked Johnny Ray.
"Send my grass out to be mowed,"
answered Bubba.
••
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a
brick wall in a game of tennis.
••
A park ranger is on the rim of the Grand Canyon,
looking at the bottom of the canyon through his
binoculars.
He sees something that doesn't look quite right,
so gets on his horse and follows the trail to the
bottom.
He rides over and sees a dead burro with
something underneath.
When he pushes the burro aside, he sees a dead
Hispanic { Mexican } man flat on his back.
When turns the man over, he sees the man's
name on the back of his t-shirt, which reads:
JUAN LOPEZ KNEIVEL
••
“I felt super exhausted after giving blood.
It's such a draining procedure.”
••
The Top Signs That Your Co-worker Is A
Computer Hacker;
You ticked him off once and your next phone bill
was $20,000.
He's won the Publisher's Clearing House
sweepstakes three years running.
Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.
When his computer starts up, you hear,
"Good Morning, Mr. President."
You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that
Visa card now, jerk."
••
Cindy and Kathy, both residing in an old age
home, we taking a walk in the park when they
suddenly saw an old guy running, without any
clothes on.
Cindy said to Kathy, "I don't have my glasses on.
Did you see what that guy was wearing?"
Kathy replied, "I didn't, but whatever it was, it
needs ironing!"
••
If I was named Edward Normus,
I'd use my first name's initial and my last name
as much as I possibly could.
••
If animals have Facebook account these are most
likely their status…
COCKROACH : Manage to skip from some one′s
foot step…
CAT : My 7th child is asking who is her dad..??
What shall I tell her..?? I don’t even remember…
MOSQUITO : I am HIV positive……this all due to
wrong sucking…
CHICKEN : If tomorrow I'm not updating my
status means I am being served in KFC…
PIG : Oh gosh..!!
They throw the gossips that I am spreading flu…
••
When Joseph made a small mathematical error
in his MIS report, his boss Mr. Jones did not miss
the opportunity to demean him in front of his
colleagues.
Mr. Jones said to Joseph in an angry tone,"If you
had 4 bananas, and I asked you to give me 2,
how many would you be left with?"
Without hesitation, Joseph replied, "If YOU had
asked, I would still be left with 4 bananas."
••
I'm not saying your house is haunted,
but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy
Bears while you were in the bathroom.
••••
