••
♥
"When they call the roll in the Senate,
the Senators do not know whether to answer
'present' or 'not guilty.'"
—President Teddy Roosevelt
••
In a Kremlin press release today, Vladmir Putin
announced "That he could see the Palin brawl
from his house".
••
Every time I think things can't get worse...
They hold another election...
••
I do not approve of political jokes......
too many get elected..
••
''My choice early in life was either to be a
piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician.
And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.''
—President Harry S. Truman
••
I'm beginning to think I'm allergic to beer
I keep breaking out in handcuffs.
••
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's
pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's
pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.
••
The first 50 years... of marriage are the hardest..
••
If guns kill people....
then pencils misspell..
cars make people drive drunk..
and spoons make us fat..
••
"A lot of people like snow.
I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."
-- Carl Reiner
••
Year to date statistics on Airport screening from
the Department of Homeland Security...
Terrorist Plots Discovered 0
Transvestites 133
Hernia’s 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blondes 3
••
I am a man with the extensive vocabulary of a
well educated sailor....
••••
