••
♥
"When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a
hidden truth."
-- George Bernard Shaw
••
"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
little boy blue and the man on the moon..."
Drugs in the 70's must have been AWESOME!
••
He died doing what he loved: checking to see if
wolves are ticklish.
••
Juicing changed my life.
I went from being overweight, to being overweight
and owning a juicer.
••
Tomorrow I'm going on vacation with the family,
which is the same as saying tomorrow my wife
and I are going to get in a fight.
••
My psycho neighbor just invited me to her cat’s
b-day party.
Like I have time for that weirdo on the same day
my dogs are getting married.
••
The local funeral directors are advertising
a new glass coffin, but will it be popular?
Remains to be seen.....
••
responded to a cry for help last night from a
young woman in an alleyway who had her finger
cut off by a thief who wanted her diamond ring.
She had been frantically trying to contact the
police by dialling 99.
I said, "Sorry love, you're missing a digit."
••
"Ever heard Victoria's REAL secret?
Too much support hurts."
••
Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice
bucket challenge?
Don't they want to get better?
••
It's cool how the members of Anonymous are so
good at computer stuff, but also wrote so many
great poems and inspirational quotations.
••
My son and his friends are great ...
They always spray the house with air freshener
before I get home.
••••
